Fic: Down to the Bone: Chapter Sixteen
Title: Down to the Bone
Rating: R
Warning: SENSITIVE and TRIGGERING material.
Disclaimer: I don't own House M.D. or the characters. They belong to Fox and David Shore.
Summary: Cuddy develops an eating disorder. Takes place with House's old team.
Author's Note: WOW. I really suck at updating this. I'm SO sorry, guys, but I haven't given up on it AND I have some future ideas, so it won't be given up on. Thank you for the continued reading of it. You're all too awesome and too good to me.
(Chapter One. Chapter Two. Chapter Three.Chapter Four.Chapter Five.Chapter Six.Chapter Seven.Chapter Eight.Chapter Nine.Chapter Ten.Chapter Eleven.Chapter Twelve.Chapter Thirteen.Chapter Fourteen.Chapter Fifteen.)
Cuddy was sitting in an armchair by the window, looking down over the grounds and watching as birds played in a small fountain. She was thinking about her hospital, what she was missing out on while she was gone. She wondered what sort of antics House had been up to.
“Did you like the show?”
The voice startled her. Cuddy turned to see Liz standing over her. Liz gave her a smile and sat down on the ledge of the window. Cuddy eyed her up a moment before speaking.
“Was that real?”
Liz frowned. “You think I’m lying too?”
“It’s not that.” Cuddy shook her head. “It’s... It was the way you spoke about it.”
“Yeah,” Liz agreed. “Guess it’s like a defensive thing or something. That’s what Noreen says. I dunno.”
She stood and turned toward the window, looking out.
“I’m really sorry,” Cuddy told her.
“For what?” Liz turned slightly toward Cuddy.
“Those things your mother did to you,” Cuddy said. “It wasn’t right nor fair to you.”
“Well... thanks.” Liz smiled and gave a shrug. “No sweat. Listen, you want to play a card game or something? Checkers maybe?”
“Sure,” Cuddy agreed and stood from the chair. She followed Liz as she went to retrieve a game from the Nurse’s station.
Noreen had made her wait alone in her office and Cuddy didn’t particularly like being in there by herself. Not only was she there when it wasn’t her scheduled appointment, but it felt empty without Noreen’s presence.
The door opened and Noreen entered. She gave Cuddy a smile and made her way over to her desk. Once she was seated, she locked her eyes on Cuddy.
“Lisa, there’s something very important that I’d like to talk to you about,” Noreen said.
“Okay,” Cuddy spoke, a little unsure.
“Don’t be nervous,” Noreen told her. “It’s all right. We should probably start talking about what happens when you leave here.”
“I’m getting out?” Cuddy asked, sitting up straighter.
“Soon,” Noreen answered. “Your weight is back in an average zone, you’re eating well, and you’ve been working hard in therapy.”
“When do I get to leave?” Cuddy replied.
“As long as these improvements keep up, by the end of next week,” Noreen responded.
“Okay.” Cuddy nodded, taking all of this in. “So what does happen when I leave?”
“I’d like you to do an outpatient program,” Noreen informed her.
Cuddy’s eyebrows drew together. “What does that mean exactly?”
“It’s bi-weekly sessions where we discuss food intake, stress, and any issues you may be having,” Noreen said. “You’d also be expected to attend group sessions.”
“Oh.” Cuddy looked down at her hands.
“I know you don’t like group,” Noreen went on, “but it’s healthy to listen, even if you don’t want to speak.”
“How long will I have to be in outpatient?” Cuddy asked, meeting Noreen’s gaze.
“It depends on your progress, but things look hopeful for you, Lisa,” Noreen told her. “You’re really trying hard and I can see that.”
“Thanks.” Cuddy smiled slightly.
“Do you have any questions?” Noreen said.
“No.” Cuddy shook her head. “Not now.”
“Okay,” Noreen replied. “You can head out. We’ll talk later this week.”
“Thanks.”
Cuddy left Noreen’s office and headed back upstairs. She was excited to have the chance to go home. She wanted to be back at work, to have a purpose in her life again, but this want also brought fear. The fear of what others would think, the fear she would relapse.
As much as she had wanted to pursue this disorder as she was falling down the rabbit hole, she really wanted to be better now. She realized how unhealthy her obsession had become, much like someone addicted to drugs. But she wanted to be better now, she wanted her old life back.
When Cuddy walked into the common area, Liz immediately came over to her. She looped her arm through Cuddy’s and took her toward the couch and chairs set up near the corner of the room.
“What was that about?” Liz asked as she flopped down on the couch.
“What?” Cuddy replied and sat beside her.
“You usually have afternoon appointments,” Liz said. “What’s up?”
“She said I’m done soon,” Cuddy told her. “With inpatient.”
“No shit.” Liz smiled. “You lucky bitch.”
“I guess,” Cuddy shrugged.
Liz frowned, confused. “You don’t want out?”
“I’m a little nervous,” Cuddy spoke honestly. “I’d have to go back to work and face everyone now that they know what I’ve been through.”
“Fuck ‘em,” Liz replied.
Cuddy smirked at her frankness. “Easier said than done.”
“So what?” Liz stood from the couch and stretched, tired of sitting. “Everyone’s got problems.”
“Mine were a little too public,” Cuddy told her. “I’m supposed to run a hospital. How can I do that if I can’t even take care of myself?”
“Being here is taking care of yourself.” Liz sat on the arm of the couch. “Come on, Lisa. Don’t give me that crap. You know you’re good enough for the job.”
“You have such faith in me and yet, you don’t even know me,” Cuddy said, glad for the encouragement from Liz, even if she felt it was a bit undeserved.
“What can I say?” Liz shrugged. “I’m confident in my friends.”
“Thanks.” Cuddy smiled at her.
Liz’s mouth fell open, suddenly remembering the information she had acquired. She dropped down onto the couch and scooted toward Cuddy.
“So, guess what I found out.” Liz kept her tone hushed.
“What?” Cuddy asked, a little unsure.
“Your roomie’s a puker,” Liz responded with amusement.
Cuddy drew back. “What?”
Liz’s smile grew. “Saw her hacking up her insides in the stairwell. Pretty fucking stupid. They caught her before she could get a second go at jammin’ her fingers down her throat.”
“Is she okay?” Cuddy’s eyebrows drew together in concern.
“Hell if I know.” Liz pressed herself into the couch, turned off since Cuddy wasn’t find this as funny as she did. “She put up quite a fight though. Kicked that foreign nurse right in his unibrow.”
“What’d they do with her?”
“Sedated her because she was flippin’ her shit,” Liz went on. “I think they called her parents too. Oh well.”
Liz stood from the couch, too antsy to stay seated. She made her way over to the nearest armchair and sat down there. Cuddy kept her eyes on her the entire time.
“Do you think she’s going to be all right?”
“She’ll come around, but ten bucks says she’ll relapse after release.” Liz picked at the green fabric of the chair. “Some don’t want to get better.”
“Do you?” Cuddy asked.
“Yeah.” Liz continued her picking. “But God hates me so...”
Cuddy frowned and moved down the couch, closer to Liz. “Why do you say that?”
Liz looked up at Cuddy, a coldness behind her eyes. “Do you think God loves the people he tortures?”
“I don’t think he hates you, Liz,” Cuddy spoke sincerely.
“Thanks for the confidence, kid.” Liz forced a smile on her face and stood. “I’m going to have a smoke. Wanna go?”
Cuddy sat back and shook her head. “No, thanks.”
“See you later.”
Liz walked away, her step fast and a little upbeat. Cuddy watched her go, wondering what was in store for Liz in the future and how long she’d still be here once Cuddy had left for good.
“Hi, Lisa, come in.”
Cuddy closed the door to Noreen’s office behind her. She made her way toward the chair opposite Noreen’s desk.
“It’s official,” Noreen told her with a smile. “You’re getting out on Friday. Ten AM. Do you want someone to pick you up?”
“Yes,” Cuddy answered without thinking as she sat down, but then realized she had to make the decision as to who would pick her up.
“You can use my office phone to make the call.” Noreen moved the sleek black phone toward Cuddy.
“Thanks.” Cuddy picked up the receiver.
She paused a moment, making a quick decision, and then dialed the number. Cuddy waited through two rings before the phone was picked up.
“Hello?”
“Hi, James,” she said into the phone.
“Lisa.” Wilson was surprised to hear her voice on the other end. “How are you? Are they treating you okay? House told me-”
“I’m getting out,” Cuddy cut him off, wanting to make this a quick phone call.
“You are?” Wilson replied.
“Yes,” Cuddy answered. “On Friday morning. I was hoping you could pick me up if you don’t have any appointments or anything. I’d really appreciate it.”
“Sure,” Wilson agreed without hesitation. “Of course.”
“Thanks,” Cuddy responded, relieved.
“How are you?” Wilson asked.
“I’m doing well,” she told him. “A lot better.”
“That’s great to hear,” Wilson said.
“I have to go now.” Cuddy glanced at Noreen. “But I’ll be discharged around ten.”
“Okay,” Wilson replied. “I’ll be there.”
“Thank you.” She smiled slightly to herself, realizing just how much she missed her friend. “Goodbye.”
“Bye, Lisa.”
Cuddy hung up the phone and smiled at Noreen. “We’re all set.”
The rest of the week went by quickly for Cuddy. The thought of getting out only pushed her to work harder on getting better. She wanted to leave this place feeling like she could recover completely from this misstep in her life.
When the morning finally arrived for her discharge, Cuddy was excited. She had faith that she would never return to an inpatient program again. She wouldn’t miss the lifestyle, she wouldn’t miss the rules and restrictions, but she felt she would miss some of the people, especially those who were her allies.
There was one goodbye she wasn’t looking forward to saying. Liz stepped into her room just as Cuddy was finishing her packing. Her roommate wasn’t there and Liz lingered in the doorway.
“Hey,” she spoke up.
Cuddy turned. “Hi.”
Liz entered into the room. “So... this is it.”
Cuddy nodded, words failing her right now. She felt almost like she was betraying Liz by leaving her there.
“It was nice knowing ya, Lisa.” Liz sat down on Cuddy’s bed with a bounce.
“You, too, Liz.” Cuddy smiled at her.
“Well, thanks.” Liz offered a small smile in return.
“You should work hard,” Cuddy said and sat down between her suitcase and Liz. “You should try to get out soon too.”
“What?” Liz stared at her a moment. “You want me to visit you at your hospital? Just stroll right into your office? I’m not the kind of company you keep.”
“I wouldn’t mind,” Cuddy told her honestly.
Liz smiled widely this time. “I feel like you’re lying.”
“I’m not,” Cuddy insisted.
“You say that now...” Liz trailed off and stood. She walked toward the window. “But it’s okay. I plan on getting out soon. Then heading west. I wanna go where it’s warm and not down South. Some of those fuckers suck.”
“Right,” Cuddy agreed for the sake of agreeing.
“Take care, Lisa.” Liz turned and approached the bed. “Don’t let the fuckers here get you down. I mean, you’ve been running that hospital how long before getting sick? It’s not like you were always defeated by this shit.”
“Yeah,” Cuddy responded.
Liz drew in a breath, her eyes locked with Cuddy’s. “See ya around.”
“Bye.”
Cuddy stood from the bed as Liz headed toward the door.
“Liz.”
She turned at the doorway. “Yo.”
“Take care of yourself, too,” Cuddy told her.
“Always do.”
Liz smiled and walked out of the room. Cuddy drew in a breath and picked up her suitcase from her bed. She took it with her as she walked out of her room.
Rating: R
Warning: SENSITIVE and TRIGGERING material.
Disclaimer: I don't own House M.D. or the characters. They belong to Fox and David Shore.
Summary: Cuddy develops an eating disorder. Takes place with House's old team.
Author's Note: WOW. I really suck at updating this. I'm SO sorry, guys, but I haven't given up on it AND I have some future ideas, so it won't be given up on. Thank you for the continued reading of it. You're all too awesome and too good to me.
(Chapter One. Chapter Two. Chapter Three.Chapter Four.Chapter Five.Chapter Six.Chapter Seven.Chapter Eight.Chapter Nine.Chapter Ten.Chapter Eleven.Chapter Twelve.Chapter Thirteen.Chapter Fourteen.Chapter Fifteen.)
Cuddy was sitting in an armchair by the window, looking down over the grounds and watching as birds played in a small fountain. She was thinking about her hospital, what she was missing out on while she was gone. She wondered what sort of antics House had been up to.
“Did you like the show?”
The voice startled her. Cuddy turned to see Liz standing over her. Liz gave her a smile and sat down on the ledge of the window. Cuddy eyed her up a moment before speaking.
“Was that real?”
Liz frowned. “You think I’m lying too?”
“It’s not that.” Cuddy shook her head. “It’s... It was the way you spoke about it.”
“Yeah,” Liz agreed. “Guess it’s like a defensive thing or something. That’s what Noreen says. I dunno.”
She stood and turned toward the window, looking out.
“I’m really sorry,” Cuddy told her.
“For what?” Liz turned slightly toward Cuddy.
“Those things your mother did to you,” Cuddy said. “It wasn’t right nor fair to you.”
“Well... thanks.” Liz smiled and gave a shrug. “No sweat. Listen, you want to play a card game or something? Checkers maybe?”
“Sure,” Cuddy agreed and stood from the chair. She followed Liz as she went to retrieve a game from the Nurse’s station.
Noreen had made her wait alone in her office and Cuddy didn’t particularly like being in there by herself. Not only was she there when it wasn’t her scheduled appointment, but it felt empty without Noreen’s presence.
The door opened and Noreen entered. She gave Cuddy a smile and made her way over to her desk. Once she was seated, she locked her eyes on Cuddy.
“Lisa, there’s something very important that I’d like to talk to you about,” Noreen said.
“Okay,” Cuddy spoke, a little unsure.
“Don’t be nervous,” Noreen told her. “It’s all right. We should probably start talking about what happens when you leave here.”
“I’m getting out?” Cuddy asked, sitting up straighter.
“Soon,” Noreen answered. “Your weight is back in an average zone, you’re eating well, and you’ve been working hard in therapy.”
“When do I get to leave?” Cuddy replied.
“As long as these improvements keep up, by the end of next week,” Noreen responded.
“Okay.” Cuddy nodded, taking all of this in. “So what does happen when I leave?”
“I’d like you to do an outpatient program,” Noreen informed her.
Cuddy’s eyebrows drew together. “What does that mean exactly?”
“It’s bi-weekly sessions where we discuss food intake, stress, and any issues you may be having,” Noreen said. “You’d also be expected to attend group sessions.”
“Oh.” Cuddy looked down at her hands.
“I know you don’t like group,” Noreen went on, “but it’s healthy to listen, even if you don’t want to speak.”
“How long will I have to be in outpatient?” Cuddy asked, meeting Noreen’s gaze.
“It depends on your progress, but things look hopeful for you, Lisa,” Noreen told her. “You’re really trying hard and I can see that.”
“Thanks.” Cuddy smiled slightly.
“Do you have any questions?” Noreen said.
“No.” Cuddy shook her head. “Not now.”
“Okay,” Noreen replied. “You can head out. We’ll talk later this week.”
“Thanks.”
Cuddy left Noreen’s office and headed back upstairs. She was excited to have the chance to go home. She wanted to be back at work, to have a purpose in her life again, but this want also brought fear. The fear of what others would think, the fear she would relapse.
As much as she had wanted to pursue this disorder as she was falling down the rabbit hole, she really wanted to be better now. She realized how unhealthy her obsession had become, much like someone addicted to drugs. But she wanted to be better now, she wanted her old life back.
When Cuddy walked into the common area, Liz immediately came over to her. She looped her arm through Cuddy’s and took her toward the couch and chairs set up near the corner of the room.
“What was that about?” Liz asked as she flopped down on the couch.
“What?” Cuddy replied and sat beside her.
“You usually have afternoon appointments,” Liz said. “What’s up?”
“She said I’m done soon,” Cuddy told her. “With inpatient.”
“No shit.” Liz smiled. “You lucky bitch.”
“I guess,” Cuddy shrugged.
Liz frowned, confused. “You don’t want out?”
“I’m a little nervous,” Cuddy spoke honestly. “I’d have to go back to work and face everyone now that they know what I’ve been through.”
“Fuck ‘em,” Liz replied.
Cuddy smirked at her frankness. “Easier said than done.”
“So what?” Liz stood from the couch and stretched, tired of sitting. “Everyone’s got problems.”
“Mine were a little too public,” Cuddy told her. “I’m supposed to run a hospital. How can I do that if I can’t even take care of myself?”
“Being here is taking care of yourself.” Liz sat on the arm of the couch. “Come on, Lisa. Don’t give me that crap. You know you’re good enough for the job.”
“You have such faith in me and yet, you don’t even know me,” Cuddy said, glad for the encouragement from Liz, even if she felt it was a bit undeserved.
“What can I say?” Liz shrugged. “I’m confident in my friends.”
“Thanks.” Cuddy smiled at her.
Liz’s mouth fell open, suddenly remembering the information she had acquired. She dropped down onto the couch and scooted toward Cuddy.
“So, guess what I found out.” Liz kept her tone hushed.
“What?” Cuddy asked, a little unsure.
“Your roomie’s a puker,” Liz responded with amusement.
Cuddy drew back. “What?”
Liz’s smile grew. “Saw her hacking up her insides in the stairwell. Pretty fucking stupid. They caught her before she could get a second go at jammin’ her fingers down her throat.”
“Is she okay?” Cuddy’s eyebrows drew together in concern.
“Hell if I know.” Liz pressed herself into the couch, turned off since Cuddy wasn’t find this as funny as she did. “She put up quite a fight though. Kicked that foreign nurse right in his unibrow.”
“What’d they do with her?”
“Sedated her because she was flippin’ her shit,” Liz went on. “I think they called her parents too. Oh well.”
Liz stood from the couch, too antsy to stay seated. She made her way over to the nearest armchair and sat down there. Cuddy kept her eyes on her the entire time.
“Do you think she’s going to be all right?”
“She’ll come around, but ten bucks says she’ll relapse after release.” Liz picked at the green fabric of the chair. “Some don’t want to get better.”
“Do you?” Cuddy asked.
“Yeah.” Liz continued her picking. “But God hates me so...”
Cuddy frowned and moved down the couch, closer to Liz. “Why do you say that?”
Liz looked up at Cuddy, a coldness behind her eyes. “Do you think God loves the people he tortures?”
“I don’t think he hates you, Liz,” Cuddy spoke sincerely.
“Thanks for the confidence, kid.” Liz forced a smile on her face and stood. “I’m going to have a smoke. Wanna go?”
Cuddy sat back and shook her head. “No, thanks.”
“See you later.”
Liz walked away, her step fast and a little upbeat. Cuddy watched her go, wondering what was in store for Liz in the future and how long she’d still be here once Cuddy had left for good.
“Hi, Lisa, come in.”
Cuddy closed the door to Noreen’s office behind her. She made her way toward the chair opposite Noreen’s desk.
“It’s official,” Noreen told her with a smile. “You’re getting out on Friday. Ten AM. Do you want someone to pick you up?”
“Yes,” Cuddy answered without thinking as she sat down, but then realized she had to make the decision as to who would pick her up.
“You can use my office phone to make the call.” Noreen moved the sleek black phone toward Cuddy.
“Thanks.” Cuddy picked up the receiver.
She paused a moment, making a quick decision, and then dialed the number. Cuddy waited through two rings before the phone was picked up.
“Hello?”
“Hi, James,” she said into the phone.
“Lisa.” Wilson was surprised to hear her voice on the other end. “How are you? Are they treating you okay? House told me-”
“I’m getting out,” Cuddy cut him off, wanting to make this a quick phone call.
“You are?” Wilson replied.
“Yes,” Cuddy answered. “On Friday morning. I was hoping you could pick me up if you don’t have any appointments or anything. I’d really appreciate it.”
“Sure,” Wilson agreed without hesitation. “Of course.”
“Thanks,” Cuddy responded, relieved.
“How are you?” Wilson asked.
“I’m doing well,” she told him. “A lot better.”
“That’s great to hear,” Wilson said.
“I have to go now.” Cuddy glanced at Noreen. “But I’ll be discharged around ten.”
“Okay,” Wilson replied. “I’ll be there.”
“Thank you.” She smiled slightly to herself, realizing just how much she missed her friend. “Goodbye.”
“Bye, Lisa.”
Cuddy hung up the phone and smiled at Noreen. “We’re all set.”
The rest of the week went by quickly for Cuddy. The thought of getting out only pushed her to work harder on getting better. She wanted to leave this place feeling like she could recover completely from this misstep in her life.
When the morning finally arrived for her discharge, Cuddy was excited. She had faith that she would never return to an inpatient program again. She wouldn’t miss the lifestyle, she wouldn’t miss the rules and restrictions, but she felt she would miss some of the people, especially those who were her allies.
There was one goodbye she wasn’t looking forward to saying. Liz stepped into her room just as Cuddy was finishing her packing. Her roommate wasn’t there and Liz lingered in the doorway.
“Hey,” she spoke up.
Cuddy turned. “Hi.”
Liz entered into the room. “So... this is it.”
Cuddy nodded, words failing her right now. She felt almost like she was betraying Liz by leaving her there.
“It was nice knowing ya, Lisa.” Liz sat down on Cuddy’s bed with a bounce.
“You, too, Liz.” Cuddy smiled at her.
“Well, thanks.” Liz offered a small smile in return.
“You should work hard,” Cuddy said and sat down between her suitcase and Liz. “You should try to get out soon too.”
“What?” Liz stared at her a moment. “You want me to visit you at your hospital? Just stroll right into your office? I’m not the kind of company you keep.”
“I wouldn’t mind,” Cuddy told her honestly.
Liz smiled widely this time. “I feel like you’re lying.”
“I’m not,” Cuddy insisted.
“You say that now...” Liz trailed off and stood. She walked toward the window. “But it’s okay. I plan on getting out soon. Then heading west. I wanna go where it’s warm and not down South. Some of those fuckers suck.”
“Right,” Cuddy agreed for the sake of agreeing.
“Take care, Lisa.” Liz turned and approached the bed. “Don’t let the fuckers here get you down. I mean, you’ve been running that hospital how long before getting sick? It’s not like you were always defeated by this shit.”
“Yeah,” Cuddy responded.
Liz drew in a breath, her eyes locked with Cuddy’s. “See ya around.”
“Bye.”
Cuddy stood from the bed as Liz headed toward the door.
“Liz.”
She turned at the doorway. “Yo.”
“Take care of yourself, too,” Cuddy told her.
“Always do.”
Liz smiled and walked out of the room. Cuddy drew in a breath and picked up her suitcase from her bed. She took it with her as she walked out of her room.