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[Ariana and Pete... no, that can’t be Pete. That’s a WOMAN. Pete has short hair and there is absolutely no way he would be caught dead in a skirt. ... ... right?
Ariana and a strange purple-haired woman are out today, and Ari’s putting make-up on her. Ari seems very happy to be, finally, doing girly things again. Clayton has apparently been left with Archer and Pete for a while, today, it seems.]
For the last time, you do NOT look like a hooker. A skank, maybe.
Nope. Definitely a hooker. [Ariana’s friend’s voice is low and husky for a woman, but within the feminine range. “She” looks mournfully at “her” reflection in a mirror, critically examining the heavily applied eye shadow and thick mascara.]
Don’t be ridiculous, “Patty”. Or can we go with Petunia? I knew a Petunia, she was a sweet kid.
That poor damn kid. Eh, it’s fine.
Yeah, Patty is such a granny’s name.
Like Petunia ain’t? [Petunia sighs and sets the mirror aside, examining “her” neatly done nails. They are, of course, purple.]
Hey, if you’re gonna have a hideous southern accent, why not do a southern belle?
Oy! This ain’t southern. This is inner-city. [Offended, “she” clears “her” throat.] This is a southern drawl, darlin’.
Holy shit, that sounds hideous. No, I think if anything you have to go with a Marylin Monroe.
[Petunia smiles crookedly, before remarking:] Ari, baby, I love you. But I look enough like a tramp as it is.
Well we have to do a little work if you’re gonna be my “wing-man”. Can’t pick up guys with a city slicker or dirty south accent. Anyway, I have a surprise for you. It’s my birthday gift to me! But I got one for you too.
[Ari whips out a pack of cigarettes. And then a second pack!]
I was gonna share these with “Pete”, but you’ll do, Patty.
Ariana and a strange purple-haired woman are out today, and Ari’s putting make-up on her. Ari seems very happy to be, finally, doing girly things again. Clayton has apparently been left with Archer and Pete for a while, today, it seems.]
For the last time, you do NOT look like a hooker. A skank, maybe.
Nope. Definitely a hooker. [Ariana’s friend’s voice is low and husky for a woman, but within the feminine range. “She” looks mournfully at “her” reflection in a mirror, critically examining the heavily applied eye shadow and thick mascara.]
Don’t be ridiculous, “Patty”. Or can we go with Petunia? I knew a Petunia, she was a sweet kid.
That poor damn kid. Eh, it’s fine.
Yeah, Patty is such a granny’s name.
Like Petunia ain’t? [Petunia sighs and sets the mirror aside, examining “her” neatly done nails. They are, of course, purple.]
Hey, if you’re gonna have a hideous southern accent, why not do a southern belle?
Oy! This ain’t southern. This is inner-city. [Offended, “she” clears “her” throat.] This is a southern drawl, darlin’.
Holy shit, that sounds hideous. No, I think if anything you have to go with a Marylin Monroe.
[Petunia smiles crookedly, before remarking:] Ari, baby, I love you. But I look enough like a tramp as it is.
Well we have to do a little work if you’re gonna be my “wing-man”. Can’t pick up guys with a city slicker or dirty south accent. Anyway, I have a surprise for you. It’s my birthday gift to me! But I got one for you too.
[Ari whips out a pack of cigarettes. And then a second pack!]
I was gonna share these with “Pete”, but you’ll do, Patty.