drabbles that keep running around my head when i should be studying
1.
She never planned for it to happen but it happened. With every nervous smile they share before going on stage, every awkward "Hwaiting!", every fleeting pat on the back after their jobs as MCs are done, she thinks she's falling in love.
She doesn't know why. He isn't devastatingly beautiful like Heechul oppa or anything. Maybe it's the way his eyes light up when he's talking about something he loves. Maybe it's how he always gives a hundred and ten percent, no matter how tired he is. Maybe it's his infectious sense of humour. It doesn't matter anyway because it'll never be possible between them. There's that insurmountable age gap, her over protective Heechul oppa and who could forget his perfect virtual wife, her Seohyun unnie.
Nobody knows. Not him. Not her F(x) unnies. Not Seohyun. It's just a crush that she'll get over soon. At least that's what she tells herself.
She tells everyone that she watches We Got Married for her Victoria unnie but she knows the real reason is because she is a masochist. She is a sadist and she wants herself to hurt everytime she sees them together because maybe then she might finally give up on him.
"It's Seohyun unnie," she leans as close as she dares to and whispers to him. He immediately turns to the monitor and a smile spreads across his face, a smile so beautiful that she thinks her heart might just break because that smile will never be for her.
2.
When he wants to say I need you, he buries his head into her hair. When he wants to say I want you, he pours all his passion into a kiss and maybe some more. He shows his affection though his body language, his touches, his kisses. It's the only way he knows.
Really, is there any other way? That was what he used to think. Until a certain Seo Joohyun walked in to his life holding a Keroro blanket, smiling at him with those sincere, sparkling eyes. A certain Seo Joohyun who made him feel feelings he never knew existed. A certain Seo Joohyun who didn't know the difference between like and love, who had never hugged or kissed a guy. A certain pure, untainted Seo Joohyun.
He feels more for her than he has felt for any girl before. The irony is that he can't express it the way he has done with any other girl before.
That's why, at 4am in the morning, he sits in his room, a smile playing at his lips as he finally finishes the Japan Handbook he made for her. Author, Jung Yonghwa. He chuckles out loud. He thinks he's going crazy. He really is. Only for her.
With his finger, he traces on the cover the words she'll never see.
Seo Joohyun, I love you.
3.
"So, you're mad because he didn't text you? Why don't you text him?" Hyoyeon asks in her straight forward way, as always. Since WGM started, she has found a brand new hobby- making Seohyun squirm.
Seohyun purses her lips and remains silent. Indeed, why can't I text him? She asks herself. Because he's the one who said I'll call you with that irresistable smile after the last filming, only he didnt. Because I don't want him to think I'm completely desperate. Not after I gave him the ring anyway. A real ring that he can't throw away or simply dismiss with a simple Oh, it's broken after we're done with the show.
"Do you think he'll keep the ring after the show? Do you think he'll still wear it?" Seohyun suddenly turns to Hyoyeon, all wide eyed and eager for an answer.
"What?!" Hyoyeon nearly chokes on her Seohyun-approved crackers, "I was asking you why you... Nevermind. I'm not even going to try to figure out how your brain works. Besides, why're you getting preoccupied over stuff that he isn't obligated to do? Ja~shik."
"Just... because." Seohyun cringes when she hears Hyoyeon imitate the way he teases her because nobody can imagine the effect that one simple word has on her when he says it. God knows how much she misses hearing him say that word. She misses it so much that she can't even think of a witty comeback. Argh.
"Whatever. You're in-"
"Unnie! I''m not in love with him! " Seohyun whines, pouting her lips.
"Yeah? I was going to say 'in denial' but 'in love' works fine too," Hyoyeon smirks and leaves Seohyun alone with her flaming cheeks and muddled thoughts.