(no subject)
Friends, parties, and people in general were things I've always loved. When my friends were "on bad terms" with people, it was something I never understood. Plaster on a smile, be polite and keep the mean comments to yourself is what I lived by. I figured if I couldn't say anything nice, I would fake it with meaningless compliments and empty promises to call them soon. While I still agree with the previous statements, and I do believe a girl should have some class, I realized over time that I was a fraud. As a matter of fact, I wasn't nice at all. The minute those I shared stories and laughs with were out of sight, my tongue was sharper than ever. I was your classic shit talker. After many years of that behavior, I felt disgusted with myself. I definitely got a taste of my own medicine and realized it hurt the most when the harsh rumors and cruel words were from people I always thought considered me a good person. From that time forward, I did my very own version of growing up. Sure, I lost a lot of "friends, and I absolutely have many more "enemies" than ever before. At least now, I'm being real. I feel good about myself. I now stand up for myself and those I really do love, no matter who the individual is. Status in this town is a joke. I couldn't care less how many tattoos you have, or what band you were once in, or even what "gang" you affiliate yourself with. If you're a bad person, trends won't save you from the fact that you're a waste of space. I will never force a smile or a hello from my lips again. While I can honstly say I have known some beautiful people here in Arizona, it sadly isn't the majority. I would never recommend for anyone I know to live, or even visit this place. A lot of you tucsonans are very cruel people and I will never be hurt by any of you again. To me THIS is being an adult. Realizing what a terrible place this world can be, and treading lightly. I will question everything and save my kindness for those who deserve it. It's a weight off of my shoulders and an energy saver. Now I have even more love to give to those who know what the word actually means.