(no subject)
So i was cleaning out my computer and I found this letter i wrote to jordan after ben hit her and she was suppossed to move to california. and I remember the night i found out my whole family was over and i just stayed in my room and sobbed for 3 hours. then i remember buying flowers for her and her mom and bringing this letter and then trying to read it to her and crying.
heres teh letter
I dont even know where to start. Just thinking about everything, all of it, sitting around looking at pictures, reading old journals and old notes, just thinking about it all. Every other note, picture, journal entry, had you in it. You became the biggest, most important thing in my life. I always said that my ranch was my happy place, the place that I went to just to brake away from it all, and just feel good. but really, your my little happy place, as corny and weird as that sounds. You changed me, helped me, helped me get through every moment, of every day, of every year. My life got better when you entered it, when you walked into my life. and i just hope that i gave back to you as much as you gave to me. I was one of the lucky ones, the lucky one to have someone like you in their life. You are the glue, the perfect, wonderful, beautiful thing that held me together every single day. Know how good you are, how great you are, how you have affected so many people, how many people love you. You were there for every major thing in my life, all the bad, and all the good, you were always there. Most people arent this lucky, this blessed to have such a perfect friend; such a perfect best friend. When I heard that you might be leaving, I thought my life was over. I didnt know how I could possibly get through every day, all of high school, every year without you. All I needed everyday was to know that you were right there, willing to be my friend. We didnt even have to talk every single day, I still knew you were always there. I just cant stress to you how lucky I am to have a friend like you. I had no one I could count on, until you walked into my life. I dont know where I would be without you.You understood, you always have. You got me, and you know how hard that is. You always knew, and and always have known, everything I'm thinking, everything I'm feeling, and I just think "what did I do to deserve you." I love you. I love how you make me laugh, how you enjoy life, how you bring out the motherly in me, I just love you. I have never been able to trust and care for anyone as much as I have for you. No one else has my trust, my compassion, as much as you do. Life just made sense with you, it worked, it was better, just because you were my best friend. You stood by me, believed in me, like no body ever has. When life was turning hellish, you were always right there, always. You make me see how lucky i am, you bring out the best in me, you always have, and always will. You gave me so much; your trust, your friendship, your love, your strength and hope, you gave it all. I am who I am because of you; because of you. I'm sorry for everything you are going through, no one as great as you deserves this. If you have to leave
You're my best friend, and no one will ever be to me the way that you were, no one will ever have that place in my heart.
You're my best friend
god. thats so sad. a best friendship down the drain. how fucking pathetic actually. She chose adam over me. she ran away, I had to deal with all the shit. then a month and a half later she appologizes over the fucking internet. I was with ym xavier friends (who were also there the night i had to deal wtih her mom and the police and saw how the police were to me and how mrs p was to me) and they all got so pissed at her and typed to her. i didnt even say anything to her..but to my friends who were there when jordan IM me and appologized i said "wow you really care..it only took you a month and a half to give me a half ass apology"
she was saying bullshit about how she loves me and illalways be her best friend. prove it.
heres teh letter
I dont even know where to start. Just thinking about everything, all of it, sitting around looking at pictures, reading old journals and old notes, just thinking about it all. Every other note, picture, journal entry, had you in it. You became the biggest, most important thing in my life. I always said that my ranch was my happy place, the place that I went to just to brake away from it all, and just feel good. but really, your my little happy place, as corny and weird as that sounds. You changed me, helped me, helped me get through every moment, of every day, of every year. My life got better when you entered it, when you walked into my life. and i just hope that i gave back to you as much as you gave to me. I was one of the lucky ones, the lucky one to have someone like you in their life. You are the glue, the perfect, wonderful, beautiful thing that held me together every single day. Know how good you are, how great you are, how you have affected so many people, how many people love you. You were there for every major thing in my life, all the bad, and all the good, you were always there. Most people arent this lucky, this blessed to have such a perfect friend; such a perfect best friend. When I heard that you might be leaving, I thought my life was over. I didnt know how I could possibly get through every day, all of high school, every year without you. All I needed everyday was to know that you were right there, willing to be my friend. We didnt even have to talk every single day, I still knew you were always there. I just cant stress to you how lucky I am to have a friend like you. I had no one I could count on, until you walked into my life. I dont know where I would be without you.You understood, you always have. You got me, and you know how hard that is. You always knew, and and always have known, everything I'm thinking, everything I'm feeling, and I just think "what did I do to deserve you." I love you. I love how you make me laugh, how you enjoy life, how you bring out the motherly in me, I just love you. I have never been able to trust and care for anyone as much as I have for you. No one else has my trust, my compassion, as much as you do. Life just made sense with you, it worked, it was better, just because you were my best friend. You stood by me, believed in me, like no body ever has. When life was turning hellish, you were always right there, always. You make me see how lucky i am, you bring out the best in me, you always have, and always will. You gave me so much; your trust, your friendship, your love, your strength and hope, you gave it all. I am who I am because of you; because of you. I'm sorry for everything you are going through, no one as great as you deserves this. If you have to leave
You're my best friend, and no one will ever be to me the way that you were, no one will ever have that place in my heart.
You're my best friend
god. thats so sad. a best friendship down the drain. how fucking pathetic actually. She chose adam over me. she ran away, I had to deal with all the shit. then a month and a half later she appologizes over the fucking internet. I was with ym xavier friends (who were also there the night i had to deal wtih her mom and the police and saw how the police were to me and how mrs p was to me) and they all got so pissed at her and typed to her. i didnt even say anything to her..but to my friends who were there when jordan IM me and appologized i said "wow you really care..it only took you a month and a half to give me a half ass apology"
she was saying bullshit about how she loves me and illalways be her best friend. prove it.