A Statement From Management, and More
[A young man, roughly eighteen years of age, dressed in a denim jacket, jeans, and a black t-shirt bearing a very worn red and white design on it that resembles a cross between the Elder Sign and a chicken cutlet with curry, enters from stage right. Three things of note come to the eye; his hair, mostly jet black, has three pure snow white tufts at the front, hanging slightly down to his eyes. His eyes themeselves are of two colors; one a rich hazel, the other a sky blue. And third, he is carrying a sizable number of papers stapled together.]
Young Man: Ahem. Greetings to everyone. For those of you who don't know me, my name is Jenova Triad Westfield. On behalf of myself and my compatriots, I've been asked to issue the following statement. [clears throat, then reads from the papers] "To those whom it may concern, those who I call my friends, my family, and my loved ones-"
Voice: [from off-stage, to the left] Bor-ring!
Jenova: [curt whisper] 11! [clears throat, resumes] "I realize that it has been a long time since I updated, but life's little events seemed to distract me a bit too much to get around to this journal."
11: [still off-stage] Translation: I had more important things to do, like surfing the web or playing video games.
Jenova: Do you mind?
11: Nah, please, go on.
Jenova: ... [resumes reading] "Last month, those little events cluminated with my graduation from UC Santa Cruz. This event, and the subsequent deluge of others-"
11: Deluge?! He went home, unpacked over a couple days, had a bunch of friends over to eat pizza and play video games, then went to Anime Expo! Oh, gee, I forgot, he played D&D twice. What the crap does he mean deluge?
Jenova: [annoyed, looking off-stage] Do you want to come out here and read this?
11: All I'm asking for is a little journalistic honesty. [ba-dum-bum-tish!] Thanks, Zan.
Zan: [also off-stage] No problem!
Jenova: Arrgh... okay, Jenova, deep breaths, calm down... [clears throat, resumes reading] "-has finally come to a crawl, and now I have begun to work on the next major events of my life; namely, finding an internship and getting a job, so I may build funds for graduate school, where-in I intend to obtain a PhD."
Another Male Voice: Did he get to the part about us yet?
11: Nah, Tarus, he's still rambling about himself.
Tarus: Yeesh, boring.
11: That's what I said, but 3 just shushed me, and-
Jenova: [VERY angry, the entire room shudders slightly, and Jenova seems to glow a slight off-blue] DO YOU FREAKING MIND?!
[long pause]
11: [loud whisper] I think... you may... have upset him.
Jenova: ARGH! That's it! You know, after this many years, I kinda hoped I could get a little respect during these pseudo-omake bits, but obviously I was asking for too much and from the wrong people! Screw this, I'm going back to the Citadel. [stomps off]
[A long pause follows... then, two men enter from the left; one looks to be about Jenova's age, with longer jet-black hair and bangs covering his left eye. His eyes, to note, look to be a crimson red in coloration, with almond-shaped pupils. His attire- black shirt, black cargo pants, black boots, and a black trench -makes him look like he either owns a Hot Topic, or is going to a Matrix-themed party. The second man, who looks a few years older than his fellow, has chocolate-brown hair, tied back in a ponytail, wearing a half-open forest green collared shirt, black slacks, and Italian shoes worth more than a used car, walks over to the script and casually boots it off the stage. He then waves half-heartedly at the audience.]
Tarus: Uh, hi. [awkward pause] So, yeah, um, I'm Tarus Michael Gibson, and that's 11 over there in the trench.
11: Yo.
Tarus: If you don't know us, then you probably don't know Alex either, cause otherwise you wouldn't have much of a choice in the matter. [pause] Um, shit, I wasn't at rehersal, what now?
11: I'll take over. Look, what 3- Jenova for the uninitiated -was suppossed to say was, we're gonna be part of this whole journal mess from now on, so Alex has more reason to update. So, you'll be seeing us and the other random weirdos he has floating around the multiverse a lot more often. Probably. Unless another Dynasty Warriors game comes out, then you will all be ignored again. So... yeah. That's the update. Now go away. Go... eat a banana or something, whatever you people do.
Young Man: Ahem. Greetings to everyone. For those of you who don't know me, my name is Jenova Triad Westfield. On behalf of myself and my compatriots, I've been asked to issue the following statement. [clears throat, then reads from the papers] "To those whom it may concern, those who I call my friends, my family, and my loved ones-"
Voice: [from off-stage, to the left] Bor-ring!
Jenova: [curt whisper] 11! [clears throat, resumes] "I realize that it has been a long time since I updated, but life's little events seemed to distract me a bit too much to get around to this journal."
11: [still off-stage] Translation: I had more important things to do, like surfing the web or playing video games.
Jenova: Do you mind?
11: Nah, please, go on.
Jenova: ... [resumes reading] "Last month, those little events cluminated with my graduation from UC Santa Cruz. This event, and the subsequent deluge of others-"
11: Deluge?! He went home, unpacked over a couple days, had a bunch of friends over to eat pizza and play video games, then went to Anime Expo! Oh, gee, I forgot, he played D&D twice. What the crap does he mean deluge?
Jenova: [annoyed, looking off-stage] Do you want to come out here and read this?
11: All I'm asking for is a little journalistic honesty. [ba-dum-bum-tish!] Thanks, Zan.
Zan: [also off-stage] No problem!
Jenova: Arrgh... okay, Jenova, deep breaths, calm down... [clears throat, resumes reading] "-has finally come to a crawl, and now I have begun to work on the next major events of my life; namely, finding an internship and getting a job, so I may build funds for graduate school, where-in I intend to obtain a PhD."
Another Male Voice: Did he get to the part about us yet?
11: Nah, Tarus, he's still rambling about himself.
Tarus: Yeesh, boring.
11: That's what I said, but 3 just shushed me, and-
Jenova: [VERY angry, the entire room shudders slightly, and Jenova seems to glow a slight off-blue] DO YOU FREAKING MIND?!
[long pause]
11: [loud whisper] I think... you may... have upset him.
Jenova: ARGH! That's it! You know, after this many years, I kinda hoped I could get a little respect during these pseudo-omake bits, but obviously I was asking for too much and from the wrong people! Screw this, I'm going back to the Citadel. [stomps off]
[A long pause follows... then, two men enter from the left; one looks to be about Jenova's age, with longer jet-black hair and bangs covering his left eye. His eyes, to note, look to be a crimson red in coloration, with almond-shaped pupils. His attire- black shirt, black cargo pants, black boots, and a black trench -makes him look like he either owns a Hot Topic, or is going to a Matrix-themed party. The second man, who looks a few years older than his fellow, has chocolate-brown hair, tied back in a ponytail, wearing a half-open forest green collared shirt, black slacks, and Italian shoes worth more than a used car, walks over to the script and casually boots it off the stage. He then waves half-heartedly at the audience.]
Tarus: Uh, hi. [awkward pause] So, yeah, um, I'm Tarus Michael Gibson, and that's 11 over there in the trench.
11: Yo.
Tarus: If you don't know us, then you probably don't know Alex either, cause otherwise you wouldn't have much of a choice in the matter. [pause] Um, shit, I wasn't at rehersal, what now?
11: I'll take over. Look, what 3- Jenova for the uninitiated -was suppossed to say was, we're gonna be part of this whole journal mess from now on, so Alex has more reason to update. So, you'll be seeing us and the other random weirdos he has floating around the multiverse a lot more often. Probably. Unless another Dynasty Warriors game comes out, then you will all be ignored again. So... yeah. That's the update. Now go away. Go... eat a banana or something, whatever you people do.