I'm So Fucking Sorry
I'm never fucking here. I'm sorry. I should have been here and helped you, but of course I was thinking I had it bad up in the North.
I left you to your thoughts.
I came home in a happy, oblivious state. "It's almost Christmas~" That was the main thought in my head. M was the only one on, we were talking and having a good time... Then everything went wrong. He pulled the mistletoe trick, but I didn't give in or anything. He said forget it and that he was a dumb ass.
I like him too much, you guys. I can LITERALLY feel a fucking pain in my chest and stomach. He said that he had been having this fantasy that he and I would be together real soon... He says he'll always be here waiting and listening. What the fuck am I becoming? Seriously, why am I doing this to us all? The only thing I can prevent is R knowing... I can keep him happy while M and I suffer. To keep him in Oblivion...
Is it the right thing to do?
Since when have I become so helpless? I can't help you... them... or even myself.
I'm fucking worthless right now.
I can't help ANYONE.
I come here to rant about myself, but saw that you're in pain. I'm fucking selfish. I'm so sorry. I just don't know what to do anymore. I can't help myself... how can I help you? My greatest of friends... you're suffering and I'm sitting here fucking clueless and not sure what to do. I feel like puking. What a wonderful Christmas I shall be having.
I'm in so much pain, but I'm sure it is nothing compared to your's.
I'm lucky, right? To be loved like this.
Right?
God, I'm fucking driving myself insane. I want to cry but the tears won't come out... the tight pain in my chest is suffocating. I feel like I'm dying.
- Ashley
I left you to your thoughts.
I came home in a happy, oblivious state. "It's almost Christmas~" That was the main thought in my head. M was the only one on, we were talking and having a good time... Then everything went wrong. He pulled the mistletoe trick, but I didn't give in or anything. He said forget it and that he was a dumb ass.
I like him too much, you guys. I can LITERALLY feel a fucking pain in my chest and stomach. He said that he had been having this fantasy that he and I would be together real soon... He says he'll always be here waiting and listening. What the fuck am I becoming? Seriously, why am I doing this to us all? The only thing I can prevent is R knowing... I can keep him happy while M and I suffer. To keep him in Oblivion...
Is it the right thing to do?
Since when have I become so helpless? I can't help you... them... or even myself.
I'm fucking worthless right now.
I can't help ANYONE.
I come here to rant about myself, but saw that you're in pain. I'm fucking selfish. I'm so sorry. I just don't know what to do anymore. I can't help myself... how can I help you? My greatest of friends... you're suffering and I'm sitting here fucking clueless and not sure what to do. I feel like puking. What a wonderful Christmas I shall be having.
I'm in so much pain, but I'm sure it is nothing compared to your's.
I'm lucky, right? To be loved like this.
Right?
God, I'm fucking driving myself insane. I want to cry but the tears won't come out... the tight pain in my chest is suffocating. I feel like I'm dying.
- Ashley