Shutting Down
I can't seem to comprehend things anymore. This week has been too much.
I wanna break down and cry.
I get it life, you fucking have it out for me to make me miserable and confused. To second guess EVERYTHING, even my own relationship. To stress me out and make me worry about the lives of two friends. I fucking get it. I ask God, why the hell do I feel like the world is on my shoulders? Why can't I cry for once to let it all out?
No answer.
There's no answers for anything anymore to me. I feel like giving up, to just sit and rot in this chair. But I can't. The reality won't let me.
I don't have it that bad so I should grow up and move on. That's always what it is, isn't it? There's some big light at the end of the tunnel that I must reach. But then I ask myself, is that light true and real? Will I last that long anyway?
Will love last that long?
Friendships?
Trust?
Can everything be true in this world? Or am I living a lie?
Because of this, I hate my mentality. I question everything. Every little detail I question. And for what? To find myself on the brink of insanity?
I know I don't have it that bad, I really do. But for some fucked reason my mind doesn't care. I'm about to shut down. I'm not afraid to admit I do have some weird depression issue. But just like many others, I refuse to get help. I'll be damned before I do. I've convinced myself that I can work through it on my own.
Someone help...
I wanna break down and cry.
I get it life, you fucking have it out for me to make me miserable and confused. To second guess EVERYTHING, even my own relationship. To stress me out and make me worry about the lives of two friends. I fucking get it. I ask God, why the hell do I feel like the world is on my shoulders? Why can't I cry for once to let it all out?
No answer.
There's no answers for anything anymore to me. I feel like giving up, to just sit and rot in this chair. But I can't. The reality won't let me.
I don't have it that bad so I should grow up and move on. That's always what it is, isn't it? There's some big light at the end of the tunnel that I must reach. But then I ask myself, is that light true and real? Will I last that long anyway?
Will love last that long?
Friendships?
Trust?
Can everything be true in this world? Or am I living a lie?
Because of this, I hate my mentality. I question everything. Every little detail I question. And for what? To find myself on the brink of insanity?
I know I don't have it that bad, I really do. But for some fucked reason my mind doesn't care. I'm about to shut down. I'm not afraid to admit I do have some weird depression issue. But just like many others, I refuse to get help. I'll be damned before I do. I've convinced myself that I can work through it on my own.
Someone help...