Love always remains

[poisonxxxhearts]

Sometimes i feel like i could go insane any second. The other day beau and i were at the beach smoking a bowl and he was talking about an instant moment or occurrence that connect with people you loved who have passed away, and I started to think about how i always wished something really special would happened like that would happen with my dad. So i could feel like hes right here next to me, but nothing like that has ever happend i wonder if im just not looking closely enough but sometimes i wish you would just let me know Its all okay. Sometimes its hard not to feel so lost, . I will always just have this huge void inside of me. Now I have two huge voids. Since friday i have not slept well I have shitty dreams and wake up in my stupid empty bed or in the kitchen topless hahah with no one to call when i get scared, except beau to tell me to stop being a pussy and go to bed :). I just know that you had something to say and its bothering me not ever knowing what it could have been like it would even make a difference.I hope you know ill always be the one that you let get away cause your the biggest coward i know. the truth sucks sometimes. I cant wait to see my brother thank god for some clarity in my life. my outfit for monster is gonna be awesome. Im still fucking running away. Time to go to my pole dancing class




Its to close for comfort i need to get out and figure this shit out