this is the way the world ends...
you know how sometimes you just get those feelings that things are somehow not how you thought they were? i think that i'm really confused, actually. i mean, ya know. like sometimes these odd as shit feelings and notions i have somehow influence my decisions. that somehow i'm letting something intangible rule my life, and i don't care. as if i can feel it then it has to exist. as if everything i base most of my judgements on defies all laws of physics and the basic principles of existence. i just...it's like this, really:
it was like...monday or something like that. maybe it was late last week. i don't really remember. i could look it up, but i'm to lazy right now. so, i really had an actual conversation with my insane mexican kid. jon. so, anyways, he asked me about something along the lines of "people feel the need to be open with me, and i'm not quite sure why." and my reply was "there's something about you jon, there's just something about you." and i immideatly starded singing that FAKE? song, but that's aside from the point. so, then we got into that "have you ever..." things because, well, here's how it started:
we all waver: humph. first of all, i so meant to spell that wrong. second, i've had the stomach flu. third, asking after i point it out doesn't make you any less of a creep dog. fourth, i don't think you really missed me. and fifth, i'm not hanging unless you promise not to do the scary faces. i'd cry.
jon: meant to spell it wrong ...right *winks*. *sighs* i have to supress dem from coming out if we hang out, man, fine i will do it for you chica, since ya asked. Of course i missed ya, why wouldn't I. Did i do something to offend ya chica or are you just in a pissed off moood all together.
we all waver: no, i just felt like picking on you 'cause i only get to see you once every other school day. and i really don't care about the scary faces. it's just odd to see you do them 'cause you seem all...uhm...i don't want to say innocent, but something like it. nice maybe? i guess.
we all waver: that's what it is. you're just too you to do the creepy faces, but i'll get over it.
jon: *falls from his chair in fits of laughter* wow you really don't know me chica, would you like to know my nick name? My rep is no longer a slut anymore i was named by many of my friends the greatest nick name ever. Even Mr. Tynes calls me by my proper name now and it's so great. Chica, chica, chica, you have no idea how i am behind the walls of my mind. If ya think brian is bad with the tentacle thing, i could make you squirm in your chair as you read some of stories that pop into my head. That's right none of you really know me, i should start writing some gruesome short stories again hehe!
we all waver: you know what my dear? i'd like to see you try. because no one really knows me either. i could tell you true things that are in no way, shape, or form inappropriate about myself and you'd die from shock.
and that's when he told me something and i told him something. mine was a dark secret and his was a little more light and actualyl pretty funny. needless to say, i shocked the hell out of him. and then we talked some more about stuff like my razorblades and partying and his love for becky and obsession with RPing. it was all in all pretty fun. and the thing is, that's literally the first time we'd ever actually had some sort of conversation in which both of us didn't appear to have ADD [yevon bless the lunch table...]. and i worry about him now. like i told him. it's just odd, ya know?:
we all waver: it's just...this week has been really frustrating. and i don't really know why, but something says i should worry about you. for you. and i do. and it upsets me because i feel like i can see you, but i can't touch you. ya know?
jon: you can't touch me chica?
jon: why do you worry about me so much, you just kinda met me chica?
we all waver: i know. and it's really dumb for me to worry so much and all considering, but i get these feelings that i can't really explain. and they're like a constant nagging in the back fof my head, reminding me that there's something there i can't see. can't touch. but i can sense it. and it makes it that much more complicated.
jon: *ponders* do yo u believe in the supernatrual?
we all waver: most of the time
jon: *shrugs* that explains it for me, hehe
jon: i don't believe in the super natural
jon: i'm starting to understand what your saying because you do
we all waver: alright then. but that still doesn't explain it. it only gives you a reason/explaination on which to put these feelings i have.
jon: *smiles softly* you aren't growing attached to the mexican there runt are ya?
we all waver: people often say that the one flaw i have is that i go off of feelings...things i sense from people long before i ever talk to them. as if i beleive i can read a person just by watching them. and i do let these things guide me. so, in a way i am. .:shrugs:. but we'll see in the end if i'd made a wise choice or not.
and all i can tell is that i feel this...thing...and it just feels as if i should talk to him and be a friend. i feel like he's got something hiding. like i do, ya know? revetahw. i've wasted all of everyones time now. good lotd this is a long post. been through four songs, all by the same band, as stated above. and no, jon is not jon's screenname. i changed it. if you don't know it, then you shouldn't. get over it.
~creepie crawlies in my rose garden~
it was like...monday or something like that. maybe it was late last week. i don't really remember. i could look it up, but i'm to lazy right now. so, i really had an actual conversation with my insane mexican kid. jon. so, anyways, he asked me about something along the lines of "people feel the need to be open with me, and i'm not quite sure why." and my reply was "there's something about you jon, there's just something about you." and i immideatly starded singing that FAKE? song, but that's aside from the point. so, then we got into that "have you ever..." things because, well, here's how it started:
we all waver: humph. first of all, i so meant to spell that wrong. second, i've had the stomach flu. third, asking after i point it out doesn't make you any less of a creep dog. fourth, i don't think you really missed me. and fifth, i'm not hanging unless you promise not to do the scary faces. i'd cry.
jon: meant to spell it wrong ...right *winks*. *sighs* i have to supress dem from coming out if we hang out, man, fine i will do it for you chica, since ya asked. Of course i missed ya, why wouldn't I. Did i do something to offend ya chica or are you just in a pissed off moood all together.
we all waver: no, i just felt like picking on you 'cause i only get to see you once every other school day. and i really don't care about the scary faces. it's just odd to see you do them 'cause you seem all...uhm...i don't want to say innocent, but something like it. nice maybe? i guess.
we all waver: that's what it is. you're just too you to do the creepy faces, but i'll get over it.
jon: *falls from his chair in fits of laughter* wow you really don't know me chica, would you like to know my nick name? My rep is no longer a slut anymore i was named by many of my friends the greatest nick name ever. Even Mr. Tynes calls me by my proper name now and it's so great. Chica, chica, chica, you have no idea how i am behind the walls of my mind. If ya think brian is bad with the tentacle thing, i could make you squirm in your chair as you read some of stories that pop into my head. That's right none of you really know me, i should start writing some gruesome short stories again hehe!
we all waver: you know what my dear? i'd like to see you try. because no one really knows me either. i could tell you true things that are in no way, shape, or form inappropriate about myself and you'd die from shock.
and that's when he told me something and i told him something. mine was a dark secret and his was a little more light and actualyl pretty funny. needless to say, i shocked the hell out of him. and then we talked some more about stuff like my razorblades and partying and his love for becky and obsession with RPing. it was all in all pretty fun. and the thing is, that's literally the first time we'd ever actually had some sort of conversation in which both of us didn't appear to have ADD [yevon bless the lunch table...]. and i worry about him now. like i told him. it's just odd, ya know?:
we all waver: it's just...this week has been really frustrating. and i don't really know why, but something says i should worry about you. for you. and i do. and it upsets me because i feel like i can see you, but i can't touch you. ya know?
jon: you can't touch me chica?
jon: why do you worry about me so much, you just kinda met me chica?
we all waver: i know. and it's really dumb for me to worry so much and all considering, but i get these feelings that i can't really explain. and they're like a constant nagging in the back fof my head, reminding me that there's something there i can't see. can't touch. but i can sense it. and it makes it that much more complicated.
jon: *ponders* do yo u believe in the supernatrual?
we all waver: most of the time
jon: *shrugs* that explains it for me, hehe
jon: i don't believe in the super natural
jon: i'm starting to understand what your saying because you do
we all waver: alright then. but that still doesn't explain it. it only gives you a reason/explaination on which to put these feelings i have.
jon: *smiles softly* you aren't growing attached to the mexican there runt are ya?
we all waver: people often say that the one flaw i have is that i go off of feelings...things i sense from people long before i ever talk to them. as if i beleive i can read a person just by watching them. and i do let these things guide me. so, in a way i am. .:shrugs:. but we'll see in the end if i'd made a wise choice or not.
and all i can tell is that i feel this...thing...and it just feels as if i should talk to him and be a friend. i feel like he's got something hiding. like i do, ya know? revetahw. i've wasted all of everyones time now. good lotd this is a long post. been through four songs, all by the same band, as stated above. and no, jon is not jon's screenname. i changed it. if you don't know it, then you shouldn't. get over it.
~creepie crawlies in my rose garden~