Remember walkin' in the sand........................................

[poisonivy173]

Lately I've been thinking a lot about things. Not getting depressed, or still reliving the moment per se, but I've just been affected. Perhaps it is the warming of the weather and the imminent countdown to summer activities that used to be shared and loved by a person who is no longer in this dimension. The beach, the forest walks, the photo-shoots, the narcoleptic picnics in the cemetery, the long bike-rides that made us both want to quit smoking, canobie lake, the midnight strolls through Amesbury, the covert missions through the "gates of hell," the spelunking through abandoned buildings, the multiple dunkin' donuts trips every night, the twilight zone marathons, the painting marathons, the waking you up at 6AM when I get home from work, the cramped sleepovers in the bottom of a bunk bed, the days we spent competing for the extreme lounging gold medal, the kiss on a hotel balcony in the middle of a really severe thunderstorm. None of this can ever again be. It makes my heart twist in an uncomfortable way.
You are supposed to go on through the years replacing lost things and finding new joy in the substitutes. This is a true story and it works well enough. It really does.
There are just some pieces of the puzzle that will never again fit the same way. One can regain feeling whole, but there will always be some jagged edges.
Nostalgia is a poisonous thing. A poppy field for your future to nap in.
I'm no prisoner, but goddamn I've been thinking.
It is May and I miss you. Thank you for helping me rebuild it all. It's summer again. Do you want to get beach pizza?