just another day
You know its hard to actually feel your feelings when everyone around you needs you to be strong! Shayni is trying hard to be happy and helpful but its hard for me to let her in on anything because i dont want to make her anymore sad. Then there is Ashley and i want to just be able to be like hey im sad today but im afraid of what that kind of baggage will do to her state of mind! i just got off the phone with my mom and i just hate talking to her. and i know it isnt justified but for some reason i cant stand when she says anything i just find it stupid and unimportant! i know that is wrong but i cant help it i just feel this unbridled animosity towards her that i cant get past. And when i do these things i feel bad but its like i cant help it so now i will feel like shit for the rest of the day. And holy cow i am sooooo mad at Dustin. He just is a player like everyother guy on earth and silly me thought he was different but i was sadly mistaken. He said that he thought i was sooo different than other girls and that he wanted me in his life but nooooooo he hasnt called me for like oh a week and a half and i am more dissapointed and hurt than anything else. And any anger i feel is towards myself for letting myself think he was different. guys suck and they are really the scum of the earth!! well thats it for now. Ivy