What do you all think...
Alright, the topic tonight is marriage. Please leave a comment answering these questions.
*Do you think you're ready for marriage? If not, what age do you think you will be, if ever?
*When do you believe is the right time to get married? (I don't mean seasons, I mean life wise)
*Do you believe that young marriages can work?
*Why do you personally want, or not want, to get married?
*Do you have faith in lasting marriages these days?
*Why do you think people want to get married so quickly these days?
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Marriage has been on my mind alot. It's something that scares me, but that I want it one day anyways. It seems everyone around me is getting engaged, married or having kids. Some are of good ages like late 20's, others are only 19. The young ones are what bother me the most. I do believe that if you're mature enough, and ready for marriage, then it could work. However! I personally think most of these people aren't ready and I don't understand why they would want to take the chance so young. Why not wait a few more years? Or just get engaged, an engagement can last years. Don't rush into marriage. To make things easier I'll answer my own questions for you guys
*I personally do not think I'm ready for marriage. I'm only 18, I don't even classify myself as an adult yet. I haven't figured out what I want to do with my life, hell, I just applied for school recently and even with that...I'm not sure that I will stick with that forever, I haven't expierenced life to it's fullest, I've never traveled or tried out that many jobs...It's just, not right for me. I think I'll be ready for marriage when I have a slight idea to where my life is going, or atleast where I want it to go. In my mind the ideal age to get engaged is 21 or over, and for getting married...mid or late 20's. Any earlier then that, and I don't think the person is fully sure what they want.
*I believe that you shouldn't get engaged until you've been together for more then at the very least, 2 years and married once you feel confident that you're ready, that the couple is ready. If you're still in school, I think it's a bad idea. Finish your schooling, get a good job, have money saved up for a life. If there's no feeling of stability, on either persons side, then it wont work.
*I do not believe that young marriages work. I don't think people are mature enough, stable enough or are okay enough with their life to be with someone for their entire life. You're taking a vow, whether you believe in god or not, it's a promise to yourself and your partner as well. Someone will get bored, or curious of what else is out there, or you'll learn that the person you thought you knew, isn't that person. Take it slow, don't rush into things. Why does everyone want to grow up so fast?
*Marriage to me is something beautiful. You're fully committed to the one you love, vows have been taken to be together forever, the base of a family has been started. You can come home to you're husband or wife, knowing they'll be there. You have someone to care for you, and you to care for. I've always been the hopeless romantic who wants to get married and be together forever...but these days, it doesn't seem like that happens anymore.
*My faith in a lasting marriage is slowly dissolving. I have seen so many marriages fail, or see people staying together even if they don't love each other anymore. The polls say that 82% of marriages fail these days. Is it because people don't try? Marriage takes work. I don't think people realize that. Communication is an important piece in the puzzle...talk out problems, always voice them. Don't hold them in because then they're harder to get rid of. I still hold on to my idea of a lasting marriage, with no cheating or whatever...but...as I get older.....*shrugs* I guess my answer is "For now"
*I think people come to the age where the marriage itch begins. They want the grown-up life of settling down..but I think they only like the idea. When most people get married just cause of "the itch" they end up finding out they're not ready. Yes, it can be seen as a learning expierence...but that's one big mistake. Everyone has thought of marriage, even though some people don't admit it. We're programmed to want it and expect it....and that's fine! I just don't see why people rush into things. A friend of mine was engaged, soon to be married, already has a kid. He's only 23, she's 20. They were together 2 and a half years, have a child who's a year. As of recent, they're not together anymore. They both realized that they want to go to college/university, make something of themselves, start a good life...but not with eachother. The guy has grown up, matured, wants to find a career and raise his child right. The young girl how ever, misses partying, doesn't want to be a house wife, wants to go to school, expierence more men and see what else is out there. Good for both of them, it's just sad they both had to hurt eachother and the child in the process. The same story for a really old, good friend of mine. He's 19 or 20, she's 17 or 18. They have a kid, were engaged. Why Do this to yourselves? Why not wait and be sure? I don't understand. You're young, enjoy it while you can or else you'll regret it. That's what I think.
I don't know why it bothers me so much, maybe because I'm around alot of unhappy/failed marriages, seen the chaos it brings. I don't want that to happen to myself, or any of my friends. My mom and I were talking about it today and she agrees with me, she also said alot of things that will probably stay in my mind forever.
I think marriage scares me because of my parents mostly. My parents have been together for a very long time. They got married in their late 20's. My dad is a strong, incredibly intelligent and stable man (though he has many problems I dislike him for). He's had the same job for 30 years, he bought his first house when he was in his early 20's, he knows how to lead a stable life and keep things good. My mother on the other hand went into nursing but didn't finish due to getting married, instead she went into care giving. She enjoys her job, but it's not a career. It's not something that, if my parents got a divorce, she could live on while caring for 3 children. She doesn't have any credit and never finished her schooling.
I don't want to be like that. I want to be confident that if a divorce should happen, I could fend for myself and possible children.
I want a job that I'm going to enjoy which makes it hard, because everything I want doesn't really make that much money. I'm scared, I'm scared that I'm going to become my mother.....that's what it is.....My issue with marriage is that I want to be an independent, confident, successful woman...but I'm scared that marriage will hold me back. I don't know why that just came to me. All this thought lately, and it just comes to me now. I feel abit better now because now that I know my problem, I can work at it and make sure that I never give up on my dreams and aspirations.
Thank-you to whoever reads this, I'm sorry that it's just alot of rambling. Thank-you also to who ever answers the questions. <3 I feel better.