A Shower in an Airport Hotel - 02.20.06
It isn't so much that you seek what a virtue or vice is inherently as much as you ask 'who am I?' Not a 'what am I to you?' Or 'am I what is needed?' It's all in the delivery; the speech, the reasons, rational account, the argument, and other such shit. You got all the time in the world to figure that out though. Death is really just losing a body, nothing more. You've got opinions about it all and then you have those with knowledge. The only difference is that true opinions can be gained in different ways, flitting into the soul and then out again. Knowledge... well, it's just an opinion tied down with a reason. They are good things until they leave you. Same thing goes with men a lot of the time.
Reilly - I don't really talk to him anymore. I don't talk to any of the guys hardly anymore that I ever felt anything for more than what went on in the bedroom. It's the casual ones that are easy to deal with. No complications. You don't sit there thinking about how you're going to make it out of the room without seeing through those doors of the soul and reading what was and isn't anymore. How much you acted like a child scared of its own shadow. Can't say, I'm sorry or Hey, I'm just not that girl anymore. Gotta make yourself someone new so they can't see you or don't want to. It's just a general rule in dating with me, keep it casual until the breaking point. Past that, you're better off without 'em save the rare rare few, and honestly, I just don't have the luck required to be that damn fortunate.
I got no reasons anymore. It's all just so fuckin' pointless to hold anything out there. I was talking with Dagon the other night and I just had to sit back and laugh about it all later. We were talkin' 'bout how it's just damn near impossible to get it with any guy who isn't awake. What the hell do you say to them? Ooops, sorry, sweetie. Didn't mean to make the wall flux like that. Somebody at the door tried to shoot you today and you heard the hounds of hell coming for you? Oh, no, that's just your imagination. Don't worry about it, honey, it'll just take a second to wipe your mind sterile as your aunt Susan's fruitcakes.
Yeah, it can't happen. You gotta have that common factor, else it can't last. Well... can't fuckin' last anyway, but it's got a longer half-life if you're both in the same boat. And then there's the other part of the argument we reasoned. Of all the ponies we'd fuck rotten, the stables are runnin' rather empty. So guess it's just spinster days of doing what we do best till we finally make our way out to the back yard and start pushin' up daisies. 'Course it's different for everyone.
Still though, seeing Reilly the other night like that. First the woman coming in, drowning herself in whatever she had in her hand, flushed and excited. I knew what was on her mind the second she went for the stairs. Even gave her a cat call as she made her way up. What I didn't expect was Reilly trailing along a few minutes later to follow her up, the same look in his eye as the night I first met him. I still remember that.
It didn't bother me. Our thing's been over for a long time, and by my own choosing. You can't feel regret for watching the stray cats eat the roast if you set it out on the landing in the first place and then shut the window afterwards.
Still though, I miss being around someone who was that easy to talk to as he was.
I don't hear my cell ringing until I step out of the water, and by the time I get over to it, the voicemail has already caught:
"Yo! phone tag, you're it! We just found the machines on saturday. I've got some sketches, but they're all covered up now by some crazy ward. I'll totally show you everything...Give me a ring or just show up to the shop."
Sunny... time to get going.
Reilly - I don't really talk to him anymore. I don't talk to any of the guys hardly anymore that I ever felt anything for more than what went on in the bedroom. It's the casual ones that are easy to deal with. No complications. You don't sit there thinking about how you're going to make it out of the room without seeing through those doors of the soul and reading what was and isn't anymore. How much you acted like a child scared of its own shadow. Can't say, I'm sorry or Hey, I'm just not that girl anymore. Gotta make yourself someone new so they can't see you or don't want to. It's just a general rule in dating with me, keep it casual until the breaking point. Past that, you're better off without 'em save the rare rare few, and honestly, I just don't have the luck required to be that damn fortunate.
I got no reasons anymore. It's all just so fuckin' pointless to hold anything out there. I was talking with Dagon the other night and I just had to sit back and laugh about it all later. We were talkin' 'bout how it's just damn near impossible to get it with any guy who isn't awake. What the hell do you say to them? Ooops, sorry, sweetie. Didn't mean to make the wall flux like that. Somebody at the door tried to shoot you today and you heard the hounds of hell coming for you? Oh, no, that's just your imagination. Don't worry about it, honey, it'll just take a second to wipe your mind sterile as your aunt Susan's fruitcakes.
Yeah, it can't happen. You gotta have that common factor, else it can't last. Well... can't fuckin' last anyway, but it's got a longer half-life if you're both in the same boat. And then there's the other part of the argument we reasoned. Of all the ponies we'd fuck rotten, the stables are runnin' rather empty. So guess it's just spinster days of doing what we do best till we finally make our way out to the back yard and start pushin' up daisies. 'Course it's different for everyone.
Still though, seeing Reilly the other night like that. First the woman coming in, drowning herself in whatever she had in her hand, flushed and excited. I knew what was on her mind the second she went for the stairs. Even gave her a cat call as she made her way up. What I didn't expect was Reilly trailing along a few minutes later to follow her up, the same look in his eye as the night I first met him. I still remember that.
It didn't bother me. Our thing's been over for a long time, and by my own choosing. You can't feel regret for watching the stray cats eat the roast if you set it out on the landing in the first place and then shut the window afterwards.
Still though, I miss being around someone who was that easy to talk to as he was.
I don't hear my cell ringing until I step out of the water, and by the time I get over to it, the voicemail has already caught:
"Yo! phone tag, you're it! We just found the machines on saturday. I've got some sketches, but they're all covered up now by some crazy ward. I'll totally show you everything...Give me a ring or just show up to the shop."
Sunny... time to get going.