bla de friggin bla
its ten o'clock in the morning and it seems as though i've been up for forever. six o'clock is a nightmare.
sick.from autumn to ashes plays in the depths of this crazy redness i am surrounded by.its as though ive been killed and my walls were painted with my blood. im not even really here anymore, its just my ghost-haunting this room that i may never leave.
so many things that need to be taken into account now.but i dont want to.
"Here you stand seething with guilt.
Silence only justifies this act of cowardice.
The look stapled on your face cries out for forgiveness,
the one thing that I cannot give you.
{Did you ever see that one person
and the way they do these things
and it hurts so much it's like choking.. choking?}
I can give you freedom from your guilt,
with a flick of my wrist onto yours.
I can give you peace of mind with a forced smile.
I can give you death with the look upon my face.
This is your freedom in a life of fallacy,
with no last kiss & no regrets;
you don't deserve good bye.
This is your freedom in a life of fallacy,
with no last kiss & no good bye.
Here you stand seething with guilt.
Silence only justifies this act of cowardice.
With a short story, the one you add to daily, you are the tragic loss.
No story book ending for this fairy tale of you.
Just the one composed with blood taken from your pen that you hold in your lifeless hand.
Cry for you. Shed tears. Mourn. Wish the end.
{Did you ever look, did you ever see that one person,
and the subtle way that they do these things and it hurts so much?
So much it's like choking down the embers of a great place.
It's that moment when your eyes seem to spread aspersions
and to scream confessions at the insipid sky parting clouds.
You let this one person come down on the most perfect moment.
And it breaks my heart to know the only reason you are here now is a reminder of what I'll never have..
I'll never have.. I'll never...
Standing so close knowing that i kills me to breathe you in..
standing so close knowing that it kills me to breathe you in.
But this table for one has become bearable.
I now take comfort in this, and for this, I cherish you.
Did you ever look, did you ever see that one person
and the subtle way that they do these things and it hurts so much?
So much it's like choking down the embers of a great palce.
It's that moment when your eyes seem to spread aspersions
and to scream confessions at the insipidsky parting clouds.
And you let this one person come down.. come down. I cherish you.. I cherish you.
Just say that you would do the same for me..
just say you would do the same..
just say you would do the same for me.
For as much as I love Autumn,
I'm giving myself to Ashes.}"
nuts.nits, indeed. i feel the need to do somthing.anything.just get out and get something done. i am so far behind everything.everyone.its crazy how much i see myself needing to do.there is so much that i know will never get done.that i will never have the strength to follow through with, but i guess its besides the point.
all i want is more.
i need to put on some music thats going to motivate me to get off my ass as opposed to sitting here complaining to my computer screen.all it says is 'shut the fuck up because noone gives a damn,yo" hah, i know man. reel big fish sounds appealing. it will make me want to dance.hah. i havnt scatted around in years. the fun i used to have just chillin by myself listening to rbf. it was sweet.
i think tomorrow im going to go get my goddamn permit. im determined to pass this time, lol.nuts. dad says if leah and i, or even just one of us (lol) gets our permits anytime soon hes gonna fukcin buy us a brand new car. *whaaaat?*. permit=car=get a job=save money=get out of sandy. heh, talk about motivation, eh? yeah no shit.
blahblah. i think kelsy just got up. maybe it was just the dog. lol, this is insane, i wake up earlier than the goddamn dog. then again, hes a lazy sonofabitch. i think he weighs more than i do, lol.nuts. actually no, ive gained like thirty pounds in the last month.lol, yikkkes. i need to go do something or ill drive myself friggin crazy.
for as much as i love autumn, im giving myself to ashes.
sick.from autumn to ashes plays in the depths of this crazy redness i am surrounded by.its as though ive been killed and my walls were painted with my blood. im not even really here anymore, its just my ghost-haunting this room that i may never leave.
so many things that need to be taken into account now.but i dont want to.
"Here you stand seething with guilt.
Silence only justifies this act of cowardice.
The look stapled on your face cries out for forgiveness,
the one thing that I cannot give you.
{Did you ever see that one person
and the way they do these things
and it hurts so much it's like choking.. choking?}
I can give you freedom from your guilt,
with a flick of my wrist onto yours.
I can give you peace of mind with a forced smile.
I can give you death with the look upon my face.
This is your freedom in a life of fallacy,
with no last kiss & no regrets;
you don't deserve good bye.
This is your freedom in a life of fallacy,
with no last kiss & no good bye.
Here you stand seething with guilt.
Silence only justifies this act of cowardice.
With a short story, the one you add to daily, you are the tragic loss.
No story book ending for this fairy tale of you.
Just the one composed with blood taken from your pen that you hold in your lifeless hand.
Cry for you. Shed tears. Mourn. Wish the end.
{Did you ever look, did you ever see that one person,
and the subtle way that they do these things and it hurts so much?
So much it's like choking down the embers of a great place.
It's that moment when your eyes seem to spread aspersions
and to scream confessions at the insipid sky parting clouds.
You let this one person come down on the most perfect moment.
And it breaks my heart to know the only reason you are here now is a reminder of what I'll never have..
I'll never have.. I'll never...
Standing so close knowing that i kills me to breathe you in..
standing so close knowing that it kills me to breathe you in.
But this table for one has become bearable.
I now take comfort in this, and for this, I cherish you.
Did you ever look, did you ever see that one person
and the subtle way that they do these things and it hurts so much?
So much it's like choking down the embers of a great palce.
It's that moment when your eyes seem to spread aspersions
and to scream confessions at the insipidsky parting clouds.
And you let this one person come down.. come down. I cherish you.. I cherish you.
Just say that you would do the same for me..
just say you would do the same..
just say you would do the same for me.
For as much as I love Autumn,
I'm giving myself to Ashes.}"
nuts.nits, indeed. i feel the need to do somthing.anything.just get out and get something done. i am so far behind everything.everyone.its crazy how much i see myself needing to do.there is so much that i know will never get done.that i will never have the strength to follow through with, but i guess its besides the point.
all i want is more.
i need to put on some music thats going to motivate me to get off my ass as opposed to sitting here complaining to my computer screen.all it says is 'shut the fuck up because noone gives a damn,yo" hah, i know man. reel big fish sounds appealing. it will make me want to dance.hah. i havnt scatted around in years. the fun i used to have just chillin by myself listening to rbf. it was sweet.
i think tomorrow im going to go get my goddamn permit. im determined to pass this time, lol.nuts. dad says if leah and i, or even just one of us (lol) gets our permits anytime soon hes gonna fukcin buy us a brand new car. *whaaaat?*. permit=car=get a job=save money=get out of sandy. heh, talk about motivation, eh? yeah no shit.
blahblah. i think kelsy just got up. maybe it was just the dog. lol, this is insane, i wake up earlier than the goddamn dog. then again, hes a lazy sonofabitch. i think he weighs more than i do, lol.nuts. actually no, ive gained like thirty pounds in the last month.lol, yikkkes. i need to go do something or ill drive myself friggin crazy.
for as much as i love autumn, im giving myself to ashes.