Santa Claus cried when he found out Cole Hamels DID exist...out of fear

[poisonavery]

-Oh man, Gossip Girl is totally owning me. I hope I get a Barnes & Noble gift card for Xmas, so I can buy the rest of the series. I have seven or eight books. I mean, even though the books and movies aren't all that similar. I can't remember the last time I watched a series and truly cared about all the characters, even the ones I "hate", or a

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[poisonavery]

Why is everyone so fascinated with Maddux? And by everyone I mean you an' Sheep.

Anyway.

1. three facts about them from my personal canon/fanon: That his toughest loss to deal with was Game 6 of the 93 NLCS. That he'll pick his brother's brain for pitching advice for an opponent before he goes to Tom or Smoltz or whoevs. That a lot of the time he keeps his mouth shut about giving Tom personal advice because, even though Tom might not believe it, he feels awkward doing so ever since the whole '93 predicament.
2. a reason he/she sucks: Well, he finds humor in everything, and sometimes to a fault. At least re: the whole Tom thing. Tom thinks so, anyway.
3. a reason he/she is awesomecakes: Because he can get away with being so honest to his buddies. AND IT'S HILARIOUS.
4. five things that never happened to that character: Anything in Vegas that should stay in Vegas. Never won a Pennant-clincher. He never got birthday gifts from Avery, because they have the same birthday, and Avery says that "you shouldn't have to buy for people on your birthday", which doesn't really make much sense, but it is Avery after all, and Maddux doesn't really care either, about getting gifts. He never got a baseball player's autograph as a kid.

And he never told Tom that when he told him he "was a bad kisser", it was more because he wanted Tom to back the fuck off. Not because it was that bad.

5. five three people that character never fell in love with and why: Well, besides the fact that they're guys, and he's y'know, totally not interested in dudes. And I can't think of any girls since he's been with his wife since high school. But HYPOTHETICALLY.

Smoltz, because then golfing with him wouldn't be fun anymore, since they're so competitive with each other. And perish that thought.

Avery, because sometimes Avery lacks the concept of "personal space" and that's a very annoying sort of thing. Dealbreaker, even, to Maddux.

And Tom because, well. He's just so very Tom-ish.

[sheep_mambo]

Very nicely written. I'm afraid if you give me one of my babies, I wouldn't be able to ace this meme (but I can always try if you pick).

Smoltz, because then golfing with him wouldn't be fun anymore, since they're so competitive with each other. And perish that thought.

I can't perish *that* thought about competitiveness and golf, but I'm guessing that if feelings got involved they wouldn't be friends anymore, although I think if it's them, they always find a way back into each other's arms.

[poisonavery]

Do I sense a secret longing for M/S slash? ;P

I'd like to see what you'd have to say about Pelf or Johnny. Just because I know how well you have them developed. :)

And thanks for the compliment. Maddux was probably the hardest for me to do (out of the four; Avery, Glavine, Smoltz, and him) simply because my little Braves!canon goes from ~90 to 96, and Maddux is only there from 93-96. So the other three have far more thought put into their little quirks and characterization.

[sheep_mambo]

My longing for M/S slash? GASP! How can you read the secret desires and thoughts of others?

On a side note, didn't Maddux urinate on some rookie in the shower stall as a Padre?

I'm afraid I might disappoint with these, but here goes one for Michael Alan Pelfrey:

1. three facts about them from my personal canon/fanon

- His mother does actually call him after he makes tough starts. Sometimes he avoids the phone altogether, but he knows her intentions are good.
- Philip Humber is his best friend, but he doesn't see enough of him whenever he's up with the Big Club. Herego, therefore, Maine is there for him to fist bump with.
- He knows nothing of music. This is something that's true about him also. He makes others choose his warm up music because he doesn't know or listen to anything.

2. a reason he/she sucks (I give 3)

- Sometimes he overthrows, and that means he can't throw a strike to save his life.
- He gives into temptation with Maine (as does Maine), but succumbing to peer pressure like that?
- He's not established enough to be a main-stay in the rotation, so his stints with the club can be either brief or non-existent.

3. a reason he/she is awesomecakes (I give 3)
- His physical attributes: from the curly hair from ST '07 to those gorgeous green eyes.
- He's very playful and knows how to coax the fun out of quiet people.
- He's open and fun to be around, enthusiastic, which makes him a great learner of the game. Like I've mentioned, that image of him and Pedro in the dugout with his arm around Pedro is priceless and telling. I'm glad he gets along with Petey.

4. five things that never happened to that character

Five? (Yet, you mean!)

- He never won five games over the course of his brief stint with the club. This comes with youth and inexperience and rushing prospects.
- He's never really said "I love you" to Maine. He feels like he can't and probably won't, although his actions and other words clearly express how he feels.
- He's probably never going to hit a homerun. Let's not fool ourselves here.
- He's never going to tell his "girlfriend" about Maine and their relationship. Ever.
- He's probably never going to get over Maine if he's traded. Or Philip.

5. three people that character never fell in love with and why

- Willie Randolph: you see those looks he gave him and Maine like he was catching on to their business?
- Rick Peterson: For messing with his mechanics and making him learn an entirely new pitch. And also for those weird similes and metaphors that confuse people. I mean, srsly! And yeah, 'cause it's wrong.
- David Wright: Kudos to David the Wonder Kid, but Pelfrey's fallen for another Virginian.

[poisonavery]

lol, yeah. And there was a story about when Chipper Jones had his first career hit, Maddux wiped snot all over the ball. I find this hilarious because, well, my sense of humor is that of a 10-yearold boy (aka a ballplayer).

He's probably never going to get over Maine if he's traded. Or Philip.

I assume by "he" you mean Pelf, and yeah, trades'll do that to you. Absolutely no resolve and you never get enough of a chance to resolve it. Er, at least in my David!canon.

Oh Pelfrey. bahaha @ David/Pelfrey. That's only a little disturbing. I wonder how David would feel knowing that Pelf will never love him.

[sheep_mambo]

I hope I satisfied a lack of Humfrey with X-mas fic. Because it's adorable.

Pelfrey will never love him, but he will appreciate him for the player he is. All kudos to you, Davey! (Plus he's at least 6 inches taller than him.)

[sheep_mambo]

And by he, I do mean Pelfrey, who's played basketball, but never really got into it.

[blinding_voip]

4. five things that never happened to that character: Anything in Vegas that should stay in Vegas.

You ftw [FREE THE WHALES!]. That probably shouldn't have made me laugh as much as it did.

I'm going to my aunt's soon & have still yet to talk to you, so... call meeeee plz. ♥