(no subject)
I dont even know why i am writing this, no one gets on here anymore and some of the friends i did have on here, we are no longer friends.
funny how life is, and how people cchange, and not in a good way.
i guess its just because its 2am and i cant sleep, i am suprised at what i used to post, what a loser i was. a looooooot has changed since way back then, i am a mommy now, and a damn good one. not trying to be all like, oh im so freaking awesome, but i know some moms who really shouldnt be moms and it just proves to me how good i am.
i live in Germany now, i want to go back to FL all the time, but i know if i ever go back i would just do whatever i can to get away. not that i hate it there, its just, i want my own life and own rules and shit and i cant really have that with a family member almost on every other street.
and friends, a lot of them work, and if they are not working would probably want to go out and i cant do that cause have a kid, and some do drugs, which kills me. its like one of my really good friends who i love as a brother, ive dont so much for and i hate seeing him struggle its like no matter what he does to get out of the shit hole hes in something or some one comes along and pushes him further in it. i used to drop whatever i was doing if he called and needed help. it just sucks to hear the situation hes in. but anyways.
i am trying to join that army, doing the paper work, waiting on my social, and working out. thats gotta be the hardest part cause i am not in shape i do work out but not to an extreme. its just i eat whatever i want so that doesnt help.
this is enough, i might get back on here from time to time, just cause it helps in a way, even if i am just typing to myself :)
funny how life is, and how people cchange, and not in a good way.
i guess its just because its 2am and i cant sleep, i am suprised at what i used to post, what a loser i was. a looooooot has changed since way back then, i am a mommy now, and a damn good one. not trying to be all like, oh im so freaking awesome, but i know some moms who really shouldnt be moms and it just proves to me how good i am.
i live in Germany now, i want to go back to FL all the time, but i know if i ever go back i would just do whatever i can to get away. not that i hate it there, its just, i want my own life and own rules and shit and i cant really have that with a family member almost on every other street.
and friends, a lot of them work, and if they are not working would probably want to go out and i cant do that cause have a kid, and some do drugs, which kills me. its like one of my really good friends who i love as a brother, ive dont so much for and i hate seeing him struggle its like no matter what he does to get out of the shit hole hes in something or some one comes along and pushes him further in it. i used to drop whatever i was doing if he called and needed help. it just sucks to hear the situation hes in. but anyways.
i am trying to join that army, doing the paper work, waiting on my social, and working out. thats gotta be the hardest part cause i am not in shape i do work out but not to an extreme. its just i eat whatever i want so that doesnt help.
this is enough, i might get back on here from time to time, just cause it helps in a way, even if i am just typing to myself :)