(no subject)
Dear Mum
I am not "confused" about my sexuality; I am very certain of the fact that I am asexual. Positive, in fact. Please don't say to my gay cousins(in-law) that maybe they can help me figure out where I stand because they can't. They're sexual people where I am not and nothing they, or you, say cab change that.
You mentioned recently how the efexor suppressed your sex drive something shocking and aside from the fact that it makes you absolutely ratshit if you miss a tablet that was a big reason you wanted to come off of it. In the very next breath you said 'now I understand why you're so confused! My sex life gas been dead since I've been on this drug!'
I haven't been on efexor (venlafaxine) for over a year now, mum. Yeah, so I'm sertraline (zoloft) and that also affects libido but there was a period there when I was coming off the efexor where I should have felt something, surely? I didn't.
...Mum, I'm not confused. I'm really not interested in physical relationships. In fact I feel threatened when men come on to me and try to convince me to sleep with them. Is that the reason I'm asexual? No, it's not, because I dont feel threatened when women come on to me. Does that mean I'm gay? No. It does mean I have serious issues with the inequality of the sexes, however.
Also? That discomfiture is not limited to just flesh and blood males. Men on the Internet who show any form of sexual interest in me also get my alarm bells ringing. Still not gay though; or straight for that matter.
Maybe one day I'll find someone to love who loves me back and understands my aversion and disinterest in sex. That person might be a man or it might be a women, they might be sexual or asexual, hell they might even be pansexual but the important thing is that they'll love me.
Please stop wanting me to "figure out" where I stand. I already have. You're usually so understanding and I know you try but sometimes it slips out.
I love you, mum
Your asexy daughter
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