Dark vs Light
When I started this journal it was put here as my dark journal. The further back you read the darker my journal becomes. As I grew from this darkness and into the light I have written less and less. To the point where I know rarely ever write. I often forget my password here. A part of me is saddened by this. I have found such strength in my journal. It is as if the child within is growing up and leaving the nest. But with this revelation, I hope I have grown to be a better adult than I once was. One with a stronger mind and soul. I hope that my child within has not been lost forever as it was previously. I need to keep in touch with my child. She is but a wonderous person. So smart, and can see so much more than my adult. A sense of innocence there. Others took advantage of her in the past and crushed her innocent heart. But she grew from that experience. She is stronger and realizes now what love is and not what she would like for it to be or would want it to be. She spent so much time on mending and healing from her experience. As always the adult was not there to protect her. To care for her. She struggled through alone and sad, afraid of letting go for fear of emptiness. That fear has always been there for her child and for good reason. The child in her maybe smart and see many things but she is but an innocent child within me. The child has always been afraid of the dark. She has always had to sleep with the light on so that she could see. Her intuition was not fully developed. She was not able to care for herself. You see she was not an adult. What adult would leave a child alone and frightened. Well, when an adult can no longer cope with life they too run and hide. Fight or Flight. My adult fled, leaving my child alone, frightened, and innocent. Now, though the adult comes and visits and cares for the child so that they may grow and thrive together.