Not just a beginning or end but an existance...One day at a time
I haven't written in a while. Been thinking and working and just enjoying what I do have. It is great to know that my friends are my friends because they want to be not because they feel they have to be. I do have an enormous number of friends. Not just fly by night wam bam thank you mam, as I have had in the past. The kind that use and abuse your good nature. But ones who care to understand you. Ones who are there for you when things fall apart. I look back at where I have been and what I have done over the past year and a half, and see a metamorphus that has taken place. The catapillar who made her cacoon after the divorce almost 2 years ago. Then the ugly scrunched up butterfly the emerged. And know with my wings spread and my chest held high, I fly on my own with no one needing to catch me. But should my wing fail and I should fall I have my real friends there who will check on me and help to see that I heal. My turning point was one night when I sat talking to a very good friend of mine. I was crying and explaining that I did not know how to love myself. That everyone says you can not love until you love yourself first. He told me these words and I have tried to live by them ever since. "God does not judge you by how much you love yourself but instead how much you love others." WOW, I thought. That makes perfect sense to me. Since that day, I have tried to live up to this. Each day I try to love someone new. People usually hate me and think I have alterior motives for being so open and nice. But some see that I am not about my own gain but about seeing that they are ok. Selflessness not selfishness. If only more people could get this idea and learn how to apply it. Just think where the world would be. For you Christians, is this not what Jesus was about? Is this not what his teachings were about? Is this not the ultimate goal of each of us. Our reason for being here. Think about it. God gave Adam, Eve for this very reason. But for some reason there is something inside of us that steers us away from this practice. See the issues of the world are due to people not fulfilling our purpose in which we were put here. Take a moment if you read this to think about what I have written before you comment on it. Then really tell me how you feel inside. Open up and give to me as I hope that I have given to others.