just go away.

[poisionedbyyou]

when i think i'm fine i'm not. i seriously hate this feeling, i don't like being fine then BOOM it fucking hits you again. All i want to do is sleep but i can't, all i want is for him to lay next to me and hold me and tell me that everything will be okay, and i will get better in days time. I want to have the friends i used to have, i want to beable to drive and go where ever i please. I just want to have a normal life again, and be okay and not feel sick. I'm tired of being sick, I'm tired of feeling this way i just want to die sometimes. I feel like i am dying inside, these headaches are making me feel horrible and i just want them to go away. I have to get glasses i get them soon yay for me i guess?!?!?!. Tonight didn't go as pleased it kind of sucks. I have to sleep in this bed alone, because boyfriend has to go to work in new orleans tomorrow, so he has to stay at his bosses house. suckage. I tried going to school today my headache got worse as the day progressed. I called home tried to sleep, boyfriend came home and we went and got some food that didn't help, it just made me feel even more sick. I'm tired of this i'm just tired. I've done nothing but sleep for the past two weeks, then why am i still so fucking tired?!? why can't they find anything wrong with my left eye?!?!. Why does my doctor want to see me and talk to me about my cat scan?!?! did he find something else wrong with me!?. i don't know what to think anymore my mind is going crazy. So many things are happening at once and it is killing me. Am i going to ever find a cure for my damn headaches!?!? will they ever go away?. i sure do hope so, i just want to be the normal jennuh, i just want to beable to go in a car and listen to the music loud. I want to beable to attend school without crying and calling home. I just want to be better. I want boyfriend here right now to hold me and give me kisses and tell me he loves me, and that i am going to get better and everything is going to be okay. Nothing is right right now and this sucks. Please Save me!. i just want someone to talk to, but it seems like i can't even get that. I don't know why i try anymore i am getting nowhere. I just need to disappear for a while i guess. bye.

i'm going down further into the ground
no one can hear my sound
the sound i make when i scream loud
i'm just disappearing like a cloud
a cloud in the sky that never stays
i wish i saw more sunny days
feeling this pain hurts so bad
all i want to do is be glad
be glad again like i was 3 weeks ago
now everything goes by so freakin slow
i wait and i wait for it to go away
but i just lay
lay in this bed and cry
i feel like my whole body is about to die
i can't think anymore
i feel like i am just a big bore
i want to be free of this
all i see is mist
i'm ready for anything
but anything is leading to nothing
i'm gone
gone in the shadows where i have been all this time
i just feel like this big puddle of slime
thanks for your help, yeah right
all i see now is a pitch dark night
i've fallen.