(no subject)
Ok, so there is this big fiasco going on in my head. There are so many things to think about at once and I think that I am going to eventually lose it. There is this one girl in school and she knows all about me apparently. She knows where I live and my name and who my friends are and where I hang out at and I have never even met this girl in my life. That is ok, I guess she knows my ex and some "friends", but we all know that I only have a few friends here and the people I used to talk to when I first got here to Mississippi the fucking shit hole of America, I - as a general statement - don't talk to anymore. Don't get me wrong, I have many aquaintences here, a lot of people that I talk to everyday, but as a real friend? Nu uh. Not to mention that no one here with the exception of Word, Art and Seth, knows the real me anyway. I mean, yea, they may see me in school and talk to me and I might tell them what has been going on in my life, but I don't tell them about me.
Anyway, in other news, my grandfather may not live to see Christmas. He has been in the hospital for the past week or so. My mom is moving out tomarrow I think. Good news, huh? It is for me. My grandmother in New York is also on her death bed. However, she is so sick that I am not allowed to call her. I have no way to get to her. That is ok, I don't respect her either.
Brandon suprized me last night. He showed up after work and brought my mom a movie to watch so he could stay here longer :) I had to kick him out at like 1 in the morning.. he is so adorable. He spoon-fed me pudding at like midnight-thirty. "here comes the airplane!" haha it waas great. He makes me so happy.
I need to go home. Maybe I just need a hug from Kristy. I am so home sick. I wrote a poem tonight, yous guys should read it and let me know how it is
The ashen lips of seraphim
That lit room - dim
I danced to the thought
That my soul he bought
A frown made beautiful
Tears are plentiful
A haunting incubus
My ignorance is bliss
Orchid of the night
My Plutonian freight
Tranquility promotes blood
My gorgous flood
Grotesque smile
This incission is vile
A rush in vain
Take in the pain
I have to be brave
Honored, my grave
Red skies enchained
Thus my faith was never gained
A black morgue is home
My catacomb
Serpent of the mind
Is the forever kind
Lest we forget
The day we met
The sky filled with stars
The prison without bars
We were painted by Zoffany
We listened to a symphony
We were dieing in paradise
Our eyes were precise
Walk across desert sand
Please, take my hand
Zephers from another place
Blow tears from my face
We swim in Styx
Here is my fix
Silent screams
Break my dreams
You renege
Burn your bridge
I see your palid face
Yet there is no trace
Love is forgotten
Emotions gone rotten
Venus watches me
But I want to be free
Meditate
Separate
Pray unto me
I'll permis you to see
Wake at dawn
I'll make you my pawn
Do as I say
Or you will pay
As I sit upon my throne
My heart will not be shone
To all the immaculate in haste
That ersatz life was based
I become the succumbi
So I sing you the lulliby
Morbific touch made you limp
Immortalize the imp
Deceleration of evolution
Lady Disdain's convolution
Pray like a mantis
You are the end of this