It's all hitting me now.
After school I made myself sit down and actually look at my application for the Culinary. Just filling in the first couple lines it began to put a weight on my shoulders.
What am I doing?
Am i actually going to go through with this?
Is this what I want to do? What I should do?
Am I actually going to make it, or fail like so many of us feared?
It's a hard call and I'm just begging for a chance to get out of here and actually do something with my life. I want to be more than my grandparents were, something more than my parents were, something more than what I see many of my peers from school doing in their after highschool years. I guess it's just a fear of failure, a fear of being nothing. I mean, com'on, I want to start my own restaurant (in the future of course), that must mean I want something better for myself.
So I'm giving in, and saying yes, I'm terrified. There, I said it. Happy?
On a lighter note, I got my grad pictures taken today. Did the ol' J-Earle pose, gotta love on-going jokes.About time, really. Most highschools have them back now.
I had a really good weekend.. well friday anyways. It was fun until it started getting really crowded and all the cars were blocked in... wasnt pretty. But what else can be expected at a party I guess. On the way home a weasel was on the side of the road, which I have yet to see (Katie's got eyes like a hawk "look at the capatillers on the road!!"). Katie honked the horn so he was wise and didn't cross. Then, no lie, 10 minutes later a little rabbit runs across the road about not even a foot away from the tires, Katie, not knowing what else to do, lays on the horn. And it actually stops haha! Good God.
Here it is Tuesday, just another boring day. School was good though, I suppose. Child Care... haha what a joke. I love it. Where else can you color all morning and get two credits for it. Score!
Well, it's been a blast posting my first ever journal entry. Thanks to everyone that made it possible! *sob sob*... okay, I'm done.
Stay gold, Ponyboy.
What am I doing?
Am i actually going to go through with this?
Is this what I want to do? What I should do?
Am I actually going to make it, or fail like so many of us feared?
It's a hard call and I'm just begging for a chance to get out of here and actually do something with my life. I want to be more than my grandparents were, something more than my parents were, something more than what I see many of my peers from school doing in their after highschool years. I guess it's just a fear of failure, a fear of being nothing. I mean, com'on, I want to start my own restaurant (in the future of course), that must mean I want something better for myself.
So I'm giving in, and saying yes, I'm terrified. There, I said it. Happy?
On a lighter note, I got my grad pictures taken today. Did the ol' J-Earle pose, gotta love on-going jokes.About time, really. Most highschools have them back now.
I had a really good weekend.. well friday anyways. It was fun until it started getting really crowded and all the cars were blocked in... wasnt pretty. But what else can be expected at a party I guess. On the way home a weasel was on the side of the road, which I have yet to see (Katie's got eyes like a hawk "look at the capatillers on the road!!"). Katie honked the horn so he was wise and didn't cross. Then, no lie, 10 minutes later a little rabbit runs across the road about not even a foot away from the tires, Katie, not knowing what else to do, lays on the horn. And it actually stops haha! Good God.
Here it is Tuesday, just another boring day. School was good though, I suppose. Child Care... haha what a joke. I love it. Where else can you color all morning and get two credits for it. Score!
Well, it's been a blast posting my first ever journal entry. Thanks to everyone that made it possible! *sob sob*... okay, I'm done.
Stay gold, Ponyboy.