May 03, 2007 18:01
for my whole life ive always thought to much about something before i did them. whether or not they were the right decisions ive always thought everything through before i went through with them. I chose to stop talking to some friends because well, they werent being friends with me and some i stopped not because i wanted to but because i sorta had too. its not like my mom or dad was like hey you cant talk to them but there are some things about people that get me and they confuse the shit out of me. ive changed without a doubt, actualy ive done a complete 180 from a year or so ago after me and amanda broke up for the first time. weed and alcohol became a large part of my summer and i regret using them everyday. I slowly but surely lost contact with alot of people that i most definately shouldnt have of. if people still read this, you know who you are. I say ill call you and we'll hang out, but i dont because well i dont really know anymore. hockey is over and i still have yet to hang out with alot of people i wanted to hang out with. Some of those people are the ones that i dont want to talk to cuz of some reason, others are just because im not sure why.
the past week, ive started a new job, started my landscaping business thing, been active everyday, smoked twice, and havent taken a sip of alcohol. for the past 4 nights, my best friends have gotten fucked up...without me, and im proud to say i didnt go. if this was last summer or even a few weeks ago, i woulda said, HELL YEA! i feel like having a positive change in my life and i think its time for that to happen. of course, getting fucked up will happen every now and then, but not as frequently as it hasbeen in the past. im going to start to try and talk to my old friends, whether or not i should talk to them. there is one person without a doubt that i am going to try my hardest to start being good friends with again because she still holds that special place in my heart.
im single now, i havent felt any regret whatsoever from breaking up with amanda. i feel free and ready to take on summer. college is going to come quick and you have no idea how ready i am for it. snhu is going to kick ass and ive already talked to a bunch of freshman, im friends with a few kids on the hockey team and wen hockey season comes around, its going to rule like no other.
from now until the end of summer i hope to accomplish:
staying active everyday
working out everyday
keeping partying to a minimum
start opening my doors up to more and more people
having fun
go up to a girl and talk to her
actualy put more on this
SNHU class of 2011 here i come
well my thought process has come to an end.
i still miss you.
later.