(no subject)
I'm finally seeing the opportunities that are awaiting for me in the future. I'll now be able to spend a semester or a year abroad and not worry about our (now nonexistant) relationship. I'll find a guy who loves me and won't break up with me every six months. I won't constantly be worried about when he's going to break up with me because its already happened.
Its almost been a week since I've talked to him and I'm going to try to go atleast two months before I do. I'd really like to be friends with him but IDK if it can happen :\. Its so sad because we spent so much time together and we were so close but we'll see what happens in the future. He was my best friend. This kinda sucks though because theres such a high chance that I'll run into him or see him. I saw him driving yesterday. It was like rubbing salt into my wounds, but I took some water rinsed it out and moved about my day. I bought the book "Its Called a Breakup Because its Broken" and I absolutely love it. Its so packed with advice. Its my new best friend.
I'm so glad I have great friends to be with me through all of this. Tonight we're going to Mahoney's again, second night in a row lol. The thing is, I'm not using alcohol as a coping mechanism, I'm not trying to drink away the pain. I'm just going out with my girls, dancing, having a good time and enjoying my single-ness. I'm not out to meet guys and have one night stands. If a nice guy comes along sure, maybe I'll date him. I don't want anything serious. Maybe something casual for the summer. A nonserious rebound never hurt anybody. I need to see what else is out there.
Whats sad is that I exerted so much time and energy into the relationship and he never bothered to meet me half way. I was blinded by love. Or by the fear that he'd leave me again.
But now this time is about me. I need to reinvent myself from Jeanine and Nick to just Jeanine. Because it really is just me. I need to adjust to being alone. I think I can do this.
Its almost been a week since I've talked to him and I'm going to try to go atleast two months before I do. I'd really like to be friends with him but IDK if it can happen :\. Its so sad because we spent so much time together and we were so close but we'll see what happens in the future. He was my best friend. This kinda sucks though because theres such a high chance that I'll run into him or see him. I saw him driving yesterday. It was like rubbing salt into my wounds, but I took some water rinsed it out and moved about my day. I bought the book "Its Called a Breakup Because its Broken" and I absolutely love it. Its so packed with advice. Its my new best friend.
I'm so glad I have great friends to be with me through all of this. Tonight we're going to Mahoney's again, second night in a row lol. The thing is, I'm not using alcohol as a coping mechanism, I'm not trying to drink away the pain. I'm just going out with my girls, dancing, having a good time and enjoying my single-ness. I'm not out to meet guys and have one night stands. If a nice guy comes along sure, maybe I'll date him. I don't want anything serious. Maybe something casual for the summer. A nonserious rebound never hurt anybody. I need to see what else is out there.
Whats sad is that I exerted so much time and energy into the relationship and he never bothered to meet me half way. I was blinded by love. Or by the fear that he'd leave me again.
But now this time is about me. I need to reinvent myself from Jeanine and Nick to just Jeanine. Because it really is just me. I need to adjust to being alone. I think I can do this.