Don't let the nights end...
I got this bit of hope, but im still being wary, because it will be an even more "this sucks" if my defense mechanism doesnt go up. Me, Jon, Beeb, Steph, Leslie, Evan, Ethan, Minky, and Liz hung out after hanging in the Roche Bros parking lot which was fun, and I got a hot purple lingerie, dress with a matching thing for $5 bucks, I think it was the least boring experience ive ever had we were passing sexy faces to each other, I was like dammmmmnn that Asian bought so many fucking purses! We went back to my house and had some scrumptious drinks and mmm zombies sooo good, got a nice buzz and it was like drinking juice, I think I had two many of those I would be pretty sick though so I only had two and a little delicious kool aid-vodka drinks,.couldnt even taste the nastiness. I put on the lingerie and danced, I was a 'soft-core stripper",. I was self-conscious at first until I had a drink in me of course and after my friends complemented me, ' thank you!" :), and I found out Minky was coming and I got vocally excited, I remember jumping up in down like a kid on chistmas morning that just won 1,000 dollars, he complimented me to. My freinds are so sweet. I sucked in every moment of that night as I could, and kept trying to get myself to just tell him that I like him, but I kept wimping out and going outside and just dancing and everyone was very helpful and someone came inside and told him, as I sat out there buzzed as hell but my shyness was still their crystal clear,..good in a way so I wasn't cheating. When I came in from a cigarette, ;;tisk, tisk;;, he pointed me to the bathroom and told me what everyones been telling him, I was so embarassed and said yeah their right, and got wayyyyyy better results then I expected. their was no arkwardness . i told him I totally respect that he doesnt want a relationship, and I don't want to freak him out, and he said if he didn't have a cold he would kiss me. and it was cute. I didn;t care about colds at all, and it would give me an excuse to call in sick. We ended up kissing....alot later on the dance floor,. i.e the living room, the long hug was amazing. Shit just felt right, and he was pretty sober so I felt better so it wasn;t alcohol tinted. I guess right now im simply just waiting things out, if something happens thats awesome, and im definetly have to be assertive. It would be good for me though. If it doesn't happen im not gonna let myself get down on myself like I used to, at least it wasn;t a pure stab in the back if rejection, and friendship is always an option and at least I won;t have to worry about changing that. The thing I like about this is yes the 1st one would be the best, but the 2nd isn't like the end of the world, like totally losing. It also made me happy when I was outside having yes another cigarette, and talking to Leslie and Drupaul and Minky came outside to join the conversation, and stayed outside even after they came in, and we talked alittle and Jon came out and Jon wrote on his shirt, 'fucking CUTE!, and I decided to write a little something to, and not be all shy about it that was the hard part. God damn I hope this public speaking class helps with that SHIT, because it is the main reason why Im taking it., maybe I should start singing one day..yeah right like I would do that, Id have to be drunk from the night before, If I did I would sure fucking prove myself wrong. but after Jon signed/drew on the shirt, he hugged Jon and said goodbye,,etc, and I was just expecting a little hug like in the restaurant, and when I least expected it he kissed me again, which was rich like good chocolate brownies, and I thanked him for the "bathroom talk', and he said ' I definetly *like you." Holy shit I ran in the house with so much happiness. Just thinking about it recaptures it, and Jon and Liz were happy for me and they were so sweet on the couch. its amazing having someone excited with you. I had such good luck last night and I am so fucking thankful, as my aunt would say in this situation thank you sweet spirits!
I think this is the best luck Ive ever had with a crush, that didn't go down the shitter in seconds. like as soon as I told him. I dont care if this sounds childish/clique. I honestly felt like a princess and not often does that happen, espacially in cheap lingerie, yay NOT an object of sex!
So yeah I hate to see the summer end but this last memory was amazing, and Leslie is really chill, it feels like it was full of everything and people even put vicks vapor rub on the nipples, it made me so happy to see people using the stuff to its fullest potential..;0 ) I hope this study thing that Beeb and Steph mentioned works out, I think its a good idea because it will get us to study and will still get to hang out, because I don;t knpw about you but half the time I ditch school work it because it PREVENTS me from seeing my friends, and it just plain sucks.
Party at my Moms house next week, im gonna make sure its A GOOD ONE, it'll be big. bigger then the last one. more streaking....LOTS MORE. hell for this one I think im gonna be high class and make invites with a v,.i.p list, and try to get a cleaning crew...
Thanks for a good night. :)
I think this is the best luck Ive ever had with a crush, that didn't go down the shitter in seconds. like as soon as I told him. I dont care if this sounds childish/clique. I honestly felt like a princess and not often does that happen, espacially in cheap lingerie, yay NOT an object of sex!
So yeah I hate to see the summer end but this last memory was amazing, and Leslie is really chill, it feels like it was full of everything and people even put vicks vapor rub on the nipples, it made me so happy to see people using the stuff to its fullest potential..;0 ) I hope this study thing that Beeb and Steph mentioned works out, I think its a good idea because it will get us to study and will still get to hang out, because I don;t knpw about you but half the time I ditch school work it because it PREVENTS me from seeing my friends, and it just plain sucks.
Party at my Moms house next week, im gonna make sure its A GOOD ONE, it'll be big. bigger then the last one. more streaking....LOTS MORE. hell for this one I think im gonna be high class and make invites with a v,.i.p list, and try to get a cleaning crew...
Thanks for a good night. :)