(no subject)
Ok there are some things that I need to get off of my chest. I apologize in advance if I hurt your feelings... it's not my intention
Hollie- I'm not mad at you... but I am extremely frustrated. I don't know what else you expect from me. I call you all the time and you never want to go anywhere. When I try to come over... you fall asleep. I don't know what I promised you that I haven't done. I can't really do anything other than spend time with you until the kid gets here. You act like I never make time for you... however I didn't go to a party on Friday to come watch movies with you... but you were asleep... I was with you all day saturday.... doesn't sound like I'm blowing you off to me???? Everywhere I go I invite you... I can't help it that you don't want to go. Do you want me to blow off my plans to come sit at your house???? I dont mind just lazing around with you sometimes... but there are times when I want to get out of the house and have fun. Just because you are pregnant doesn't mean you can't have fun. Fun doesn't always entail drinking and partying. I think you would be suprised how much better you would feel if you would just change your mindset. You are always tired because you dont do anything. The more active you are the better you will feel. Dont get me wrong, I'm not saying that being in your situation is easy.... but I would much rather be pregnant than be dying of cancer, or rotting in some 3rd world country, or homeless. No matter how bad you think you have it, someone will always have it worse... it helps to keep that in mind. We are all guilty of wallowing in our own self pity... it doesn't do much good. We can be there for you and help you to the best of our abilities... but we aren't miracle workers. We can't makes this go away. The only way things will get better is if you stop looking at everything so negatively. Until you change your attitude there is nothing that me, kelsey, your mom, or ian or anyone else can do for you. This is your chance to find out what YOU are made of. YOU meaning just Hollie... not Ian's girlfriend... but HOLLIE. I think that you will be pleasantly suprised to find out what you are capable of. I have no doubt in my mind that if you have a little faith in yourself that you will be able to do this. However, if you continue to doubt yourself and expect everyone else to do things for you... then its going to be a hell of a lot rougher than it needs to be. Girls our age have kids everyday... and some of them could only hope to have your life. You have friends and family that love you whether you realize it or not. There are tons of people that are more than willing to be there for you if you quit pushing them away. It makes it hard to be there when you are so angry all the time. I know personally, that I feel like no matter what I do it's not going to be good enough for you... and I'm sure that I'm not alone. I'm sorry if you feel like I dont do enough... but you have to understand that I am giving 100% and thats the best I can do. I can only say and do the same things and be told that they aren't good enough so many times before I want to give up. I want to be there for you Hollie, but I can only give so much. If I could snap my fingers and make it go away, I would. If I could trade places with you so that you wouldn't have to go through this I would. Unfortunately I can't do that. Please know that all of this is said out of love because I want to make this as easy for you as I can. I know you are as thick headed as I am but, you have to hear us when we tell you that changing your outlook is the ONLY way things will get better. Accept it for what it is, the miracle of life... a child is a blessing not a burden. As hard as it is to see that now... I hope that in time you will see it. I love you and I care about you and I hope that this didn't upset you.
Hollie- I'm not mad at you... but I am extremely frustrated. I don't know what else you expect from me. I call you all the time and you never want to go anywhere. When I try to come over... you fall asleep. I don't know what I promised you that I haven't done. I can't really do anything other than spend time with you until the kid gets here. You act like I never make time for you... however I didn't go to a party on Friday to come watch movies with you... but you were asleep... I was with you all day saturday.... doesn't sound like I'm blowing you off to me???? Everywhere I go I invite you... I can't help it that you don't want to go. Do you want me to blow off my plans to come sit at your house???? I dont mind just lazing around with you sometimes... but there are times when I want to get out of the house and have fun. Just because you are pregnant doesn't mean you can't have fun. Fun doesn't always entail drinking and partying. I think you would be suprised how much better you would feel if you would just change your mindset. You are always tired because you dont do anything. The more active you are the better you will feel. Dont get me wrong, I'm not saying that being in your situation is easy.... but I would much rather be pregnant than be dying of cancer, or rotting in some 3rd world country, or homeless. No matter how bad you think you have it, someone will always have it worse... it helps to keep that in mind. We are all guilty of wallowing in our own self pity... it doesn't do much good. We can be there for you and help you to the best of our abilities... but we aren't miracle workers. We can't makes this go away. The only way things will get better is if you stop looking at everything so negatively. Until you change your attitude there is nothing that me, kelsey, your mom, or ian or anyone else can do for you. This is your chance to find out what YOU are made of. YOU meaning just Hollie... not Ian's girlfriend... but HOLLIE. I think that you will be pleasantly suprised to find out what you are capable of. I have no doubt in my mind that if you have a little faith in yourself that you will be able to do this. However, if you continue to doubt yourself and expect everyone else to do things for you... then its going to be a hell of a lot rougher than it needs to be. Girls our age have kids everyday... and some of them could only hope to have your life. You have friends and family that love you whether you realize it or not. There are tons of people that are more than willing to be there for you if you quit pushing them away. It makes it hard to be there when you are so angry all the time. I know personally, that I feel like no matter what I do it's not going to be good enough for you... and I'm sure that I'm not alone. I'm sorry if you feel like I dont do enough... but you have to understand that I am giving 100% and thats the best I can do. I can only say and do the same things and be told that they aren't good enough so many times before I want to give up. I want to be there for you Hollie, but I can only give so much. If I could snap my fingers and make it go away, I would. If I could trade places with you so that you wouldn't have to go through this I would. Unfortunately I can't do that. Please know that all of this is said out of love because I want to make this as easy for you as I can. I know you are as thick headed as I am but, you have to hear us when we tell you that changing your outlook is the ONLY way things will get better. Accept it for what it is, the miracle of life... a child is a blessing not a burden. As hard as it is to see that now... I hope that in time you will see it. I love you and I care about you and I hope that this didn't upset you.