The Niji Legacy 3.1
Hi, pohtaytohs here! Last time, Sunset married Count Jeff, Apricot married Jack, and the very pregnant Fanta married the moderately pregnant Genesis...all in one big uber-wedding. During this uber-wedding, many cute moments were ruined by the use of alcohol and cell phones. Also, Sunset finally got laid turned into a vampire, the infamous Prof. Brenda began starting up shit with Jack, and the spare husbands got ~MAKEOVERSSSSSS~! The next day was the only really important wedding, however: Chris and Orenji's! Both of Orenji's parents had some problems with the wedding; Kii was grappling with the fact that his son was growing up, and Kathleen was just pissed that Orenji was marrying a former prostitute. Prof. Brenda began antagonizing Jack even further until the newlyweds left on their honeymoon, the carpool to which was driven by none other than...Brittany, Orenji's first creeper lover! An incredibly awkward car drive ensued, but the newlyweds still got down to business once they reached their hotel room. After Chris got pregnant, she and Orenji got REALLY boring and never wanted to do ANYTHING. They came back from their Twikkii Island visit having gotten almost NO vacation memories. But on the plus side, Chris patched things up with Brenda, much to the dismay of Jack. Kii reached his LTW, and as Chris got more and more pregnant he became less and less pleased with her PDA with his son. (I guess someone doesn't have a pregnancy fetish.) Chris and Orenji both got their LTW jobs, which of course caused Chris to go into labor at home when EVERYONE ELSE WAS AT WORK. When we last left off, I had just given all of you a big middle finger because I ended the update on a baby-cliffhanger. XD
It's a boy! Meet the firstborn of generation 3, everybody! In keeping with my naming theme, he has been named Akai!
Yay, the cheesecake worked! =D
Akai: Ugh, this better be pretty freaking important if I have to lie on the FLOOR.
Oh, I assure you that it is, because...
...it's your twin sister, Scarlet!
Chris: Please let this be the last one...
Don't worry! There're no triplets or quads this time!
Akai has his daddy's eyes, his mommy's hair, and S1 skin.
Scarlet also has her daddy's eyes and her mommy's hair, but she has S2 skin, so that means that generation 3 will be officially clone-free! Yessssssssssss!
I still feel kind of gypped that I didn't get Chris' S3 skin, though. >=[
Say goodbye to the nasty orange Niji house!
Wow, it actually looks sort of...real. No puppy-dog windows or anything. o.o
I was gonna give a tour, but...the house was pretty much empty, so maybe I'll show some of the rooms once Kathleen starts having some wants for new furniture, being the Fortune sim that she is.
Chris: I had to give birth all alone without the help of my in-laws, my husband, or even a doctor! I am SUCH a tortured soul! *plays out her sadness*
While that's actually sort of a legitimate reason, I don't want you starting up this crap again. So STOP IT.
So, Orenji. Remember what I told you? About how you probably shouldn't go to work because your wife was most likely going to give birth soon? And that it would totally suck if she had to give birth all by herself? Remember?
Orenji: ...Yup. >.<
And remember what you said? That everything would be fine? Remember?
Orenji: *sigh* Yup. >.<
Good. ...Now go apologize to your wife.
If I had a husband and he bought me my very own hot spring as an apology, I still probably wouldn't forgive him.
...Just kidding, Kathleen was the one who wanted it. I told you she'd roll a bunch of wants for stuff!
Wow, I don't think I've ever seen Kathleen look that happy. Are you THAT glad to be a grandma, Kath?
Kathleen: I'm a what...?
Why, hello there, mkhione's Proton Pasteur! =D
Proton: Hey. =] That old lady's been in that hot spring for the past five hours, just so you know. She might die in there if you're not careful.
Yeah. -_-
Unlike Kathleen, Kii is actually vaguely aware of his grandfather...ness.
But despite earlier, Kathleen is too, so Akai and Scarlet are pretty spoiled.
Awww, Kii? Were you just making a snowman?
Kii: Uh, no. Why would you think that? *cough*
You don't have to lie, Kii! I just thought it was kind of cute is all...
Kii: I JUST WANNA BE YOUNG, DAMMIT.
Whoaaaaa. I guess someone's having a hard time coming to terms with the fact that his elder transition is in two days. Besides me, of course. *sob*
Yeah, Orenji couldn't be bothered to do his own heir portrait, so guess what Chris gets stuck with! (With her doing it I was able to get a better shot of him anyway!)
Kii: So baby, as you know, I have only a couple days left before I get and wrinkly and nasty and *sob* close to death. Whaddya say we go and screw until morning?
Kathleen: I'm in! =D
Orenji: ...Mom? Dad? I'm RIGHT here.
Kii: Yeah, that's right, you TAKE my rough kisses! >=[ YOU KNOW YOU LIKE IT!
Kathleen: *cough* Jesus, Kii! Could you be a little...gentler?
Kii: NO! D=< I'm trying to be young, godammit! *grabs ass*
Kathleen: Ooh! ;D
Kii: ...Meet me in the car!
Kathleen: So, we're in the car now, huh?
Kii: Yup. >=]
Kathleen: ...Are we gonna have car sex?
Kii: ...Yup. >=]
Kathleen: Sweet. ;]
Kii: Thank you, milady, for giving me one last night of feeling young!
Kathleen: Mmm, you're welcome, sailor!
*gag*
Crumplebottom: Young man, what you were doing with your lady friend was INDECENT! I demand that you issue me an apology for all that disgusting humping that I had to witness!
Kii: ...Kathleen, did you hear what she just called me? She called me "young man"! :'D
Kathleen: Yes, honey! She certainly did!
Crumplebottom: Give me my apology or I'll beat yo ass with my purse! And I have hard candies in there, so it'll really hurt!
Kii: I think this might be one of the happiest days of my life! TwT
Crumplebottom: ...Are you hooligans even listening to me?!
Kii: Lalalalalala, she thought I was yooooooooouuuuuung~! Lalalalalala, she called the coooooooopppppppssss~!
Well, I'm glad that date went...well, Kii. -_-
Last young 'n' sexy Kii nipslip!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oooh, the portrait's coming along really well! =D
Oh, hi, Sunset, just...let yourself in, I guess.
Sunset: Well, I could've sworn you had one of my kids! His skin is so pale!
Yeah, I know. Until now, I always thought my vampire skin was the lightest, but...yeah. >.<
Can you guys tell that I really love taking overhead shots with this shower? It makes every little movement look like an interpretive dance! =D
Orenji: And for this next number, I will wash my glorious ass!
Beautiful, simply beautiful. *sniffle*
Kii: Hello, little one. =3 I'm your grandpa Kii. Your young grandpa Kii. So you got that? I'm young, not old. Even though I'm your grandpa. Isn't that interesting? That I'm young? Not old? *twitch*
Scarlet: Okay, fine! Just let me drink my milk in peace now, please.
Kii: ...But you do think I'm young, right?
Scarlet: UGH.
Wow, time really flies, huh? It's already time for the babies' birthdays!
But hey, what's this third cake for?
Kii: Oh god...today's not the day I become old, is it?
...I'm sorry, Kii.
Kii: I think I'm gonna be sick.
Oooh, lookie who's coming to the party! Apricot, Prof. Brenda against my better judgement, Competent Nanny, and Bettie Brock!
Also, there's Sunset, who I really need to stop inviting during the daylight hours because one of these days she's going to flat-out kill herself, Genesis, Fanta, Carl the manmaid, and Jack!
Doesn't it feel better that all your family will be there to see you through the transition to elderhood, Kii?
Kii: *sob* NO.
Scarlet: *sigh* Here we go again...
Kii: SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT! Oh my god, the baby's exploding! Attention everyone, the BABY is EXPLODING! TIME TO CALL OFF THE REST OF THE BIRTHDAYS, INCLUDING MINE!
Jack: Knock it off, dude. That baby's not exploding and you know it.
Kii: SHUT UP! YOU KNOCK IT OFF!
Orenji: *whisper* He's just going through a really hard time right now, so let's all let him blow off steam, okay?
Jack: *grumble* Fine. Damn false baby-exploding accuser...
Yaaaaay, toddler Scarlet!
Orenji: Well, instead of aging you up, how about I just glitch like there's no tomorrow and plop you on the floor, wasting a perfectly nice birthday cake! =D
Akai: Daaaaaaaaaaad... >=[
Orenji: Okay, fine, let's just get you another cake.
People Akai barely knows: GROW UP BOI, WOO! HAVE AN AWESOME LIFE! BLOW OUT THE CANDLES! NO MORE DIAPERS! OH MY GOD WE'RE ORGASMING JUST FROM THE SHEER MAGNITUDE OF OUR CHEERING!
People Akai is fucking related to: ...Is this over yet? Hurry it up!
Yeah, yeah, we get it; Akai aged up. But I honestly don't really give a crap about the toddlers' birthdays, because IT'S KII'S TURN TO GET OLD!
Kii: Really? My turn?
Yep, go on! This is exciting!
Kii: If by exciting you mean heartbreaking, then yeah, I guess it is kind of exciting.
Kii: Okay, here I go... *sigh* One last young armpit hair scritchety scratch. From now on this glorious golden pile of gorgeousness will be all gray.
Gross. And stop stalling, you dork.
Bettie Brock: Hey, Kii! How's it feel to be one step away from being an old coot?! Bahahahaha! XD
...You're not helping.
Prof. Brenda: Wait, he's gonna be an old coot?! *perks up* I LOOOOOOOOOOVE old coots!
No! Not for you!
Okay, Kii! Make your wish! =D
Kii: I wish I didn't have to get old.
Pick a different wish.
Orenji: Woo! Go, Daddy! =D I'll love you forever, no matter what! <3
Well, Kii. Now's the moment of truth.
Kii: I really hate you for this.
Kii: Alright, here I go---OW OW OW OW OW OW OW OW!
Kii: Ahhh, that's much better. I guess being old isn't so bad after all!
Yeah, but seriously, you need to watch out for the---
Kii: FUCK.
Never mind. -_-
Kathleen: I told you everything would be alright! C'mere, you!
Prof. Brenda: What the hell?! I thought we had something special!
Kii: Huh? What...?
Kathleen: Why do you think you have a claim on my husband, bitch? >=|
Prof. Brenda: B-but I just thought that---
Kathleen: Well, you thought wrong. Get outta my house.
Genesis: You tell her, Kath! What a crazy slut...
Prof. Brenda: HEY! I'm right here, you know!
*sigh* Is it really that much of a surprise? Well, as long as Mr.
Cri-Cri doesn't realize anything, then...
...uh oh.
Kii: *probably on the verge of tears*
Prof. Brenda: Wellllllll, that party sure sucked! See you guys!
Ugh, it's all your fault! Bitch!
Chris: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!! Kii, I am just SO sorry that I didn't throw a good enough party for you! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!
What the...?!
Kii: I'm just going to back out of the room now.
I think that would be best.
Well, here's Akai's new red clothing!
I wanna say he's cute, but he's actually kind of wonky-looking. >=[ Hopefully that'll smooth out as he gets older.
Scarlet, however, is pretty cute. She basically looks just like a typical Niji, though.
As you guys can probably already tell, elder Kii doesn't look that much different. I couldn't bear to change his hair or glasses, so I guess the main "aged" thing about him is how he wears a more subdued yellow color now. =3
Hey, Orenji! Congrats on your kids growing up! You should go out and celebrate!
Orenji: Yeah, I really should! I'll grab Chris and we can go out to dinner!
Uh, that's not exactly what I had in mind. I was thinking that maybe you could go to a bar....by yourself. *cough*
Orenji: Well, that sounds kind of shady...but okay! =D
Heh heh heh heh...my plans are now coming into action!
Orenji: Wow, this is actually a pretty nice place! This was a good idea! Oh, miss bartender? Could you bring me a Shirley Temple, please?
Lauren the bartender: Isn't that the kid whose dad has an absolutely glorious ass?
Yeah, but anyway, I need to ask you a favor. Can you pour, like, four shots of vodka into his drink before you serve it to him? Or however much that'll get him really drunk but not to the point where he, y'know, dies. Whichever is better. SimGod is not very experienced with alcohol.
Lauren the bartender: Whoa, you're SimGod?! Whatever you say, ma'am! Sir, your drugged Shirley Temple's comin' up!
Orenji: Uh, did she just say that my drink's going to be drugged?
Yeah, um, that just means that there's going to be an extra cherry on top. Nothing to worry about, nothing at all...
Orenji: Ohhhhhhhhh! Okay then!
Orenji: *GULP* Huh, I don't think I saw any extra cherry...
Weird, huh?
Orenji: *wobble*
*wink* Uh, are you okay? *wink*
Orenji: Yeah, yeah...I just.....need some air..........or..........................something....
~ten minutes later~
Orenji: I AM THE MAJESTIC STALLION!!!!!!!!!!! WAHOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! COME NEAR ME IF YOU DARE!
...That's a little more than even I expected.
Orenji: *hic* Where's that noise coming from?! *hic* Who's there?!
*sigh* It's just me, Orenji. I'm the little voice in your head that prompts you to do unsafe things, remember?
Orenji: I have a little voice in my head?! That might be a problem.
Orenji: Oh well! There's no problem in the world that can't be solved with a little---
More cowbell?
Orenji: *hic* Nooooo, with a little dancing, silly! C'mon, everyone! You know you wanna strut your stuff with the Orenjimeister!
Everyone: *ignores the hysterical drunken man*
Hey, you know who might wanna dance with you? That human Adonis guy! Hasn't it been forever since you've seen him? ;]
Orenji: *gasp* You're RIGHT!
Orenji: Oh, Adoniiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis! I'm at thish club and schtuff, and I'm kind of reeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaalllllllly drunk.
And slurring your speech, apparently.
Orenji: Oh, right! Thanksh! And I'm *hic* schlurring my schpeech! Wanna come over for a little innoschent dansching with meeeeeeeeeeeeee, big boy?
Human Adonis: ...I'll be right over.
Orenji: *squeal* Oh, Adonis! You came! You really came! Now let's do the Cha Cha Slide and impress everybody!
Human Adonis: Um, I was thinking of something a little more...romantic, my huggle bunny.
Orenji: You're right! Let's do something romantic, Chris! *hic*
Human Adonis: Great! ..."Chris"? What the hell?
Oh, lord.
Orenji: Heeheehee! Catch me, Chris! Catch me!
Orenji: Wow, Chris! When'd you get so strong? *giggle* Then again, you have beaten me up a couple of times...and you are a professional athlete...*hic* You're really awesome, Chris! *snuggle*
Human Adonis: Should I tell him my name isn't---oh well. It's not like my name is Adonis either.
Oh, Adonis! You bad boy, you! ;]
Orenji: Chris, you're the best kisser ever! *hic* I'm so glad that you're my wife!
Human Adonis: Oooh, he's even considering me his WIFE now? How flattering!
Oh, misunderstandings. How I love 'em.
Human Adonis: You know what we should do as husband and wife, Orenji-poo? ;]
Orenji: *so damn drunk* What? =D
Orenji: Oh, Chris!!!!! You're naughty!
Human Adonis: Damn right I am. Now get in the booth.
My plan!!!!!!!! =D
Orenji: Wow, you're a lot hairier than I remember, Chris...
Count Jeff's replacement and Lauren the bartender: STOP! DUDE, THAT'S NOT YOUR WIFE!!!!!!!!!
Human Adonis: Oh, god, that felt great. I think I've regained feeling in my knees now.
Um, ew.
Orenji: Well, Chris, that was, uh...interesting. But I've never been known to be afraid of new things! *hic*
Count Jeff's replacement and Lauren the bartender: Ohhhhh my god! We were too late! Orenji! That wasn't your wife! That's not Chris!
Orenji: ...What?
Oh, for the love of god. Just unfog your glasses and take a close look.
Orenji: *gasp* ADONIS?! How could you?! I never thought you could be so...villainous! *slappity slap slap* Why did you pretend to be my wife?!
Human Adonis: *smackity smack smack* I WASN'T pretending to be your wife, you unfeeling JERK! You never call me by the right name, so how was I supposed to know that you didn't know it was me?! Knowing you, you probably just took advantage of my feelings! *extra smack*
Orenji: Oh, yeah? Then what's your name, if I'm such an unfeeling jerk? I probably had most of it right.
Human Adonis: ...It's Joe.
..................................................JOE?
Orenji: Huh. Guess I wasn't that close after all. Oh well. It doesn't really matter, considering I never wanna see you again.
Human Adonis Joe: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH HE DOESN'T LOVE ME ANYMOOOOOOORRRRREEEEE!!!!!!!!
Orenji: *hic* Whoa, how did I get here? Man, I must be hammered! ...Oh, hey, Adonis! Long time no see, huh? What's up? =D
Joe: *sob*
Well, my plan's complete. Time to go home, Orenji.
So you really have no idea what you were doing all night?
Orenji: *hic* Nope! I don't even remember how I got home! *hic* *burp*
Oh, drunk driving. Lovely.
Just like when Orenji was a toddler, I also forgot to give these guys the appropriate hair color. Akai looks a little less wonky with it...
...and Scarlet is revealed to have a ginormous chin. Maybe she isn't the typical Niji!
...Orenji? You okay in there?
Orenji: Yeah, everything's fine, except I just barfed up the biggest pile of puke IN MY LIFE.
Hmmm, really? Do you think that's trying to tell you something?
Orenji: Yeah, that I drank waaaaaaaay too much last night.
Wow, he really doesn't remember.
But speaking of clueless heirs, his portrait's done, and I think it's super cute! >w< You can see the shininess of his braces!
His portrait definitely turned out better than his dad's, but I still messed it up by managing to get the lights in the background. Oh well, I like it anyway! <3
What's this? A legacy grandma letting BOTH of her grandchildren out of their cribs before they even start to cry? It's madness, I tell you!
Kii: Huh, this smells like old man. Oh well, I'm sure it's just something from Kathleen for me! *smoochie*
...
Chris: Hey, Kii, thanks for looking after Scarlet for awhile. Could I have her back now, please?
Kii: No, I'm her grandpa and she loves me best! She's MINE now!
Chris: ...Seriously?
Yeah, Kii and Kathleen need to be taught a little lesson in sharing. They'll hold those kids for hours and refuse to give them up. >=|
Like your new undies, Kii?
Kii: *sob* THEY'RE NOT THE SAME!
Awww, it's not all bad! Even though your old briefs were pretty awesome, Tigger's awesome too! Plus, not many people can say they've had Tigger on their crotch...
Kii: Yeah, I guess that's true...
Chris: Can you say "mommy"?
Scarlet: WORLD DOMINATION. >=D
Hmmm, do we have an evil child on our hands?
Akai: Gwampa, hey, Gwampa!
Kii: What is it, Akai?
Akai: You've got Tigger on your cwotch.
Kii: Yes, I most certainly do! Thanks for noticing, Akai!
Akai: No pwobwem. =3
On a less cute note...
Orenji: BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGGGGGH IF I DIDN'T KNOW ANY BETTER I WOULD SAY I WAS PREGNANT BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRGH
Kii: Doo dee doo dee doo, just washin' my old, wrinkly body. Don't mind me.
Kii's Ballsack's Censor: Oooh, is drama afoot?
No, it's right outside their front door! =D Seriously though, Adonis, what the hell are you doing here? You better not be planning on messing up their yard or anything!
Oh please, please, pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeease don't let that be dog shit!
...Just a plant? Oh. You're not a very good enemy, Adonis.
AND a telescope?! Wow, you're an awful enemy, Adonis!
Human Adonis Joe: I can't help that I still love that bastard deep down. T^T
Speaking of that bastard, looks like he's carrying some bastards! Hahaha! Haha! Ha...? Get it?
Akai: Oh my god, is Daddy pwegnant?
Chris: So my husband's kind of pregnant. I think I'm gonna sleep on the couch for awhile until I get used to this...situation. X[
What, do you not think the baby's yours or something? *snort*
Prof. Brenda: *sitting in the chair that is literally right next to their bed* Wow, Chris! What an odd situation! What are you gonna do now? =D
Chris: You know, part of the reason I'm leaving is that you're really starting to creep me out.
Prof. Brenda: How interesting, Chris! ...Can you take your top off?
Chris: BYE.
Seriously, how did she get in their house, anyway? No one invited her over, and it's not like she's a walk-by or anything.
Kathleen: Oh yeah, I guess it's my birthday today. Hmm. You guys wanna come over and eat some cake with us?
Wow, how undramatic. I guess you're really okay with getting old, huh?
Kathleen: Well, I was already old before I jointed the family, remember? So it's not like being old is anything new for me.
I invited the usual people. Once again Count Jeff didn't come, but at least it was dark when Kathleen made the phone call so Sunset could be there!
Oh yeah, and Fanta came from the opposite side of the street, as if she has something against her family.
Prof. Brenda: HEY! Why didn't you invite me?! Aren't I sort of like a part of the family?!
Kii: Um, no...?
Prof. Brenda: ARGH! *throws tantrum*
Kii: A little help here, honey...?
Kathleen: Look, bitch, as much as we all hate you, we didn't mean not to invite you. You were already in my son's freaking BEDROOM, so why would we need to pick up the phone and call you if you were already here?
Prof. Brenda: Oh.
Kathleen: I'm going inside now.
Goodbye, young Kathleen!
Kathleen: Welcome back, those wrinkled old fingers that I know and love! Welcome back, veiny thighs! Welcome back, saggy breasts and---
Okay, I think we get the point, Kath.
SHE'S SUCH AN ADORABLE ELDER!!!!!!!
But then again, that's the whole reason she made it into this legacy in the first place! ;]
Officer Sexy: Hi, guys! Nice to see that your party's going well here and all, but the TV's on at about a decibel higher than my liking, so I'm afraid I'm gonna have to break this shit up. =D Have a nice night!
Psh, laaaame. But as you can see from that teeny tiny reflection in the mirror over there, the party got a high enough score, so it's not a big deal.
Orenji: *pop* Oh my god, you know what I just realized?! I'm the world's first pregnant man!!!! I can totally sell this shit to TLC and make MILLIONS!
Yeah, except you have no idea how you even got pregnant, so why would they care? For all they know you could just be really really fat.
Orenji: Awww.
Lookit these two oldies! They're in as much love as they've ever been! <3
But enough cuteness. Chris has a new carpool, and she has just the luck to have the creepiest person ever driving it.
Brittany: *all smiles*
...Huh? You're usually bawling. What happened?
Brittany: Oh, I got some new kids to molest friends!
Really? I don't see any.
OH DEAR GOD, WHAT'S WRONG WITH THEM?!
Brittany: And the best part is that they have no legs, so they can't escape! Teehee!
I'm going to have nightmares.
Oh, look! It's another mentally unwell friend of the Nijis!
Prof. Brenda: I'll show them what happens if they keep "forgetting" to invite me to parties!
Do you not remember last night at all? They didn't forget you.
Prof. Brenda: Too late! Suck on this, Kathleen! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!
Wow, you really showed her, stealing absolutely nothing. I'm surprised you're not a hardened criminal by now. -_-
Based on her little display back there, I decided that Brenda isn't fit to attend any more of the Nijis' birthday parties. Especially if the twins want to have any hope of growing up well. Anyway, Akai gets to grow up first this time!
Hmm, he's definitely better, but I'm still not quite sure about him...
Now for Scarlet!
Chris: I sense that something here is amiss.
Why? Everything appears to be perfectly fin---how the hell did she get here?! I swear I didn't invite her!
Kathleen: Hey, guys, does anybody have any idea as to why the bathroom window is wide open?
Brenda, you are by FAR the creepiest sim in my game.
Brittany: *somewhere, probably with an underage boy* Awww, not me?
Cute! I'm starting to see that she looks a little different than her relatives.
TIME FOR BATHROOM GLAMOUR SHOTS!
Akai~!
It's probably waaaay to bright to tell, but I think he looks a lot better! He definitely has the Niji nose and eyeshape, but he has his mommy's lips.
Scarlet: ...How can I be doing this if Mommy never potty-trained me?
Obviously she has the Niji lips and nose, but she has her mother's eyeshape, and I'm guessing somebody else's chin, because it's quite a bit larger than her father's was when he was a kid.
Anyway, I think both she and her brother are quite cute! ^_^
Well, look at who didn't make a beeline to the pinball table! Maybe he'll even be the first Niji kid to actually use this podium thingie correctly!
Nope, never mind.
Orenji: OWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!
What's wrong, Orenji?!
Orenji: I don't know! All of a sudden my manuterus just starting trembling and I felt the pain of a thousand kicks to the crotch!
I think you might be giving birth!
Um, guys? Your son/father is giving birth in the next room. Don't any of you care?
Kii: Can't talk. I'm on a Rock, Paper, Scissors winning streak.
Akai: And I have to spring back and beat this old man's ass at a game that is purely won by chance!
Well, Akai sure got his grandfather's "queasiness with the miracle of birth" gene. So, Scarlet, what's your lame excuse?
Scarlet: Wait, Daddy's giving birth? Oh my good golly gosh, I'll be right there!
Why did I ever think you were evil?
Scarlet: Daddy, take deep, even breaths!
Orenji: *huff* I'm trying! *huff*
Orenji: *hurk* Uh oh, I think I'm gonna throw up...
Scarlet: O_O ...Oh, um, I have kind of a sensitive stomach when it comes to puke, so uh....I'm not quite sure what to do here. Can somebody help?
Kathleen: Granny's comin', sweetie! Your mommy and I were just chilling in the hot spring when we heard this horrible scream! What's going on?
Scarlet: Daddy's in labor.
Kathleen: Oh. Just push it out, you lightweight! It's not that hard; I've done it four times!
Chris: Why am I getting excited? There's no way that this can be my kid.
Because you're a good, caring person and you love your husband?
Chris: ...Yeah, that's probably why.
Orenji: Phew! Glad that's over!
Everyone, meet the second boy of the generation, Brick!
Brick has his daddy's eyes and hair, and a skintone in between Orenji's and the human Adonis'.
Kathleen: Well, if the show's over I guess I'm going back to my hot spring now.
Orenji: Guys, I think there might be something else in there! It feels like a... placenta! But mom and Chris never had any afterbirth...
Akai: Father, I'm just a young boy! Spare my virgin ears from such horrid words! DX
Orenji: Sorry, son. But seriously, I'm pretty sure it's a placenta.
Really?
Because I'm pretty sure it's not.
It's another boy! His name is Strawberry!
Orenji: Welcome to the world, my little placenta! =D
Strawberry: ...This dumbass is my mom?
EEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!! I absolutely LOVE his genetics! Apparently Adonis was a ginger, because Strawberry's got some flaming locks there! Plus, he's got a super-cute freckled Pooklet skintone that I literally downloaded RIGHT before he was born, so we got super lucky! =3
AND he's the first main-line Niji to get Kathleen's eyes! Holy crap!
Strawberry: I know, I'm just a little bit of everything, aren't I? ;]
Orenji: I feel so fulfilled with this placenta! I love it already!
Strawberry: I'M NOT A PLACENTA, YOU TWIT
Anyway, since LJ's being a bitch again, the last four pictures (literally the last FOUR pictures. LJ couldn't cut me slack for just FOUR PICTURES) are in a little post of their own, which is right here!