Fortune Cookies
My two friends Chelsea and Adam are getting married this summer, and my bester friend Lindsey is throwing a bridal shower, and she is making customized fortune cookies. She wants me to help write the fortunes, here is what I have so far, please post any ideas you may have.
"It won't last"
"Two months tops"
And
"He's cheating on you"
but that probably won't go over that well, so:
"You will be attending a wedding sometime in the next three months."
"Marriage is punishment for shoplifting in some countries"
"If you blow chunks and she comes back, she's yours. But if you spew and she
bolts, then it was never meant to be. "
"Well here you are, there it is, THIS is what it's all about."
"Help! I have been enslaved by the fortune cookie factory"
"Duck!"
"Love is all you need, and money...and sometimes ice cream is good."
"Has anyone considered the fact that Adam is, like, a lot bigger than Chelsea?"
"True love lasts forever, or at least until someone starts to gain weight"
"10 bucks says they end up with a white picket fence, any takers?"
"I bet she will hyphenate, I would"
"Sometimes the captain of the football team becomes a lawyer and marries the
head cheerleader, makes you sick doesn't it?"
"Their love will move mountains, and change diapers."
"Don't say anything, but...she's showing"
"It won't last"
"Two months tops"
And
"He's cheating on you"
but that probably won't go over that well, so:
"You will be attending a wedding sometime in the next three months."
"Marriage is punishment for shoplifting in some countries"
"If you blow chunks and she comes back, she's yours. But if you spew and she
bolts, then it was never meant to be. "
"Well here you are, there it is, THIS is what it's all about."
"Help! I have been enslaved by the fortune cookie factory"
"Duck!"
"Love is all you need, and money...and sometimes ice cream is good."
"Has anyone considered the fact that Adam is, like, a lot bigger than Chelsea?"
"True love lasts forever, or at least until someone starts to gain weight"
"10 bucks says they end up with a white picket fence, any takers?"
"I bet she will hyphenate, I would"
"Sometimes the captain of the football team becomes a lawyer and marries the
head cheerleader, makes you sick doesn't it?"
"Their love will move mountains, and change diapers."
"Don't say anything, but...she's showing"