When the house falls, cards that land face-up are full of both favor and misfortune...
I seemed to have reached another cross-roads in my life. And although I knew it was coming, although I'm grateful to be officially finished with school and cheerful for Christmas and actually proud of myself for graduating and all I've achieved in the last four and a half years and absolutely sick with frustration at nearly all aspects of class-room based learning at Northeastern, namely stupid peers, and now-seeming childish forms of entertaining myself in Boston and bored to death with senioritis-like symptoms, I have never, ever approached the end of a semester with such a complex mixture of emotions.
I don't know if all these emotions as simply being up-regulated out of proportion at the moment because of the fact that I had my wisdom teeth out over Thanksgiving break and spent the entire time at home being taken care of by my mother (which made me quite homesick) and am on a mixture of drugs and PMSing as well. Also, having no concept of what I'm going to be doing after I graduate is making me nervous. Applying to only 2 graduate schools (which obviously limits my options) gives me even less of an idea what I'll do after graduation, especially if I don't get in to either of them...
I can't remember even graduating from high school with such a high mental tax. At least then I knew where I was going in the fall. As of right now, I have no idea what I'm going to do after Christmas... or for the rest of my life. I do realize many of you have already faced up to this fact, but it seems difficult for me. I usually have a plan! I've had a semi-plan for the last five years of my life and despite a few bumps and thankfully with strokes of luck, I've pretty much been able to stick to that plan!
Dreams have been insane lately, of course. Always are when I'm feeling apprehensive and on drugs at the same time. I miss the heck out of Ashwin, too. He is keeping his job down a Duke for the time-being. The Three Seas grad students are presenting their Masters theses on Friday afternoon out at the MSC in Nahant. It seems like forever ago I was watching the students from the year before present. And now the chapter is closing on my Three Seas year as well!!!
I wish I could put my wide range of feelings into words. I also wish it wasn't so late and I wasn't so preoccupied.
Rabbit Rabbit.
I don't know if all these emotions as simply being up-regulated out of proportion at the moment because of the fact that I had my wisdom teeth out over Thanksgiving break and spent the entire time at home being taken care of by my mother (which made me quite homesick) and am on a mixture of drugs and PMSing as well. Also, having no concept of what I'm going to be doing after I graduate is making me nervous. Applying to only 2 graduate schools (which obviously limits my options) gives me even less of an idea what I'll do after graduation, especially if I don't get in to either of them...
I can't remember even graduating from high school with such a high mental tax. At least then I knew where I was going in the fall. As of right now, I have no idea what I'm going to do after Christmas... or for the rest of my life. I do realize many of you have already faced up to this fact, but it seems difficult for me. I usually have a plan! I've had a semi-plan for the last five years of my life and despite a few bumps and thankfully with strokes of luck, I've pretty much been able to stick to that plan!
Dreams have been insane lately, of course. Always are when I'm feeling apprehensive and on drugs at the same time. I miss the heck out of Ashwin, too. He is keeping his job down a Duke for the time-being. The Three Seas grad students are presenting their Masters theses on Friday afternoon out at the MSC in Nahant. It seems like forever ago I was watching the students from the year before present. And now the chapter is closing on my Three Seas year as well!!!
I wish I could put my wide range of feelings into words. I also wish it wasn't so late and I wasn't so preoccupied.
Rabbit Rabbit.