Wedded Bliss
So my Dad's wedding was just over a week ago.
It was fucking horrendous. I have this thing with my maternal g-rents where I always think I'm exaggerating how terrible they are, and then, when I see them, I'm just reminded that it's so much worse than I thought. This same "don't flip out" valve was in play, since I definitely fantasized frequently about flipping my shit at my Dad's wedding, but I assumed that on the day itself everything would actually be blandly inoffensive because my dad is not a total douchelord.
Except, SURPRISE! my dad actually is a total douchelord now, because love makes you a selfish, selfish idiot.
So Friday night I got my g-rents settled into the hotel, watched some X-files, and then left around 9 to pick up my sister and Dustin from BWI. I got a little lost because the gps on my phone is craptacular, so after wending my way through like nine million subdivisions I found the airport. Both parties were on time and found my car with ease, so we left, ate at IHOP, bought Dustin some pants, and retired to the hotel to pop a few beers and go to sleep.
The next morning we awoke around 7, my grandfather yelled at me for calling to check to see if he and my grandma needed help, and we all got dressed and ready to go. Thanks to google maps horrible inadequacy we were about 10 minutes late getting to the church even though I gave us a 15 min. cushion for lost getting. I was super stressed since my objections to this union are well known, so I was worried it was going to look like I absconded with my sister to stop the ceremony. So we got there, took our seats in the back row, and shortly thereafter the horror ceremony started.
Oh friends. There was talk of obstacles to love. Misunderstandings, lost letters, all the things that can stop true love in its tracks. Yes. My mother-- so like a lost letter. Being with your soulmate for 30 years and having two kids with her-- such a misunderstanding! At this point I was just like, jaw dropped in horror at the events transpiring. Fortunately, it was all mercifully short, and then it was over and my Dad and Lynn hugged literally every single person in the church. Except me, I obviously backed off and made do with a curt "fuck all ya'll" nod. Then I noticed that Gabrielle was tearing up, and since she's an emotional fortress, I cried too. Naturally at that moment the photographer came to demand pictures, so my cryface has been recorded for posterity in some sort of heinous "family" portrait, with my dad, lynn, her two kids, and us. Oh yeah, and Lynn wore white and full on clown makeup, which, bitch, who do you think you're fooling?
So then we went at had a cup of coffee to destress and bitch about the ceremony before proceeding to the reception.
Credit where it's due-- the food was great.
Anyway, then there were toasts, and my Dad was all "I promise to love you like no other." Reeeeeeally? No other? Because I seem to recall you leaving this woman TWICE for my mom, which suggests you loved someone else a little more.
I tried-- and succeeded!-- in not meeting any of her family, other than her kids, whom I've met before.
It was horrible. I honestly didn't expect to hear my mother referred to so fucking disrespectfully, and I can't believe my Dad condoned it. He seriously has no moral center, and no sense of loyalty, and it's so fucking disappointing. I haven't had a chance to talk to/berate him yet, but he only just got back from his honeymoon.
Gabe and I talked at length about everything, and she thinks I need to wait for my dad to get over the honeymoon phase and return to being reasonable, but at this point, I'm ready to just cut him out of my life.
It was fucking horrendous. I have this thing with my maternal g-rents where I always think I'm exaggerating how terrible they are, and then, when I see them, I'm just reminded that it's so much worse than I thought. This same "don't flip out" valve was in play, since I definitely fantasized frequently about flipping my shit at my Dad's wedding, but I assumed that on the day itself everything would actually be blandly inoffensive because my dad is not a total douchelord.
Except, SURPRISE! my dad actually is a total douchelord now, because love makes you a selfish, selfish idiot.
So Friday night I got my g-rents settled into the hotel, watched some X-files, and then left around 9 to pick up my sister and Dustin from BWI. I got a little lost because the gps on my phone is craptacular, so after wending my way through like nine million subdivisions I found the airport. Both parties were on time and found my car with ease, so we left, ate at IHOP, bought Dustin some pants, and retired to the hotel to pop a few beers and go to sleep.
The next morning we awoke around 7, my grandfather yelled at me for calling to check to see if he and my grandma needed help, and we all got dressed and ready to go. Thanks to google maps horrible inadequacy we were about 10 minutes late getting to the church even though I gave us a 15 min. cushion for lost getting. I was super stressed since my objections to this union are well known, so I was worried it was going to look like I absconded with my sister to stop the ceremony. So we got there, took our seats in the back row, and shortly thereafter the horror ceremony started.
Oh friends. There was talk of obstacles to love. Misunderstandings, lost letters, all the things that can stop true love in its tracks. Yes. My mother-- so like a lost letter. Being with your soulmate for 30 years and having two kids with her-- such a misunderstanding! At this point I was just like, jaw dropped in horror at the events transpiring. Fortunately, it was all mercifully short, and then it was over and my Dad and Lynn hugged literally every single person in the church. Except me, I obviously backed off and made do with a curt "fuck all ya'll" nod. Then I noticed that Gabrielle was tearing up, and since she's an emotional fortress, I cried too. Naturally at that moment the photographer came to demand pictures, so my cryface has been recorded for posterity in some sort of heinous "family" portrait, with my dad, lynn, her two kids, and us. Oh yeah, and Lynn wore white and full on clown makeup, which, bitch, who do you think you're fooling?
So then we went at had a cup of coffee to destress and bitch about the ceremony before proceeding to the reception.
Credit where it's due-- the food was great.
Anyway, then there were toasts, and my Dad was all "I promise to love you like no other." Reeeeeeally? No other? Because I seem to recall you leaving this woman TWICE for my mom, which suggests you loved someone else a little more.
I tried-- and succeeded!-- in not meeting any of her family, other than her kids, whom I've met before.
It was horrible. I honestly didn't expect to hear my mother referred to so fucking disrespectfully, and I can't believe my Dad condoned it. He seriously has no moral center, and no sense of loyalty, and it's so fucking disappointing. I haven't had a chance to talk to/berate him yet, but he only just got back from his honeymoon.
Gabe and I talked at length about everything, and she thinks I need to wait for my dad to get over the honeymoon phase and return to being reasonable, but at this point, I'm ready to just cut him out of my life.