"do you have it in you?"
what's my strange obsession with america's next top model (aside from the fact tyra banks is one of my role models)? seriously. i have no desire to go into fashion, really. i think it's really fascinating. maybe it's that i will never look good in pictures like them and i will never be beautiful like them. but who knows.
i friggin hate pms. my mom is refusing to acknowledge it's as bad as it is. i have thrown up my last two periods from cramps. and i get so depressed that i seriously want to bring harm to myself. i don't want to eat but it's all i can do and it just gets me so mad i feel like i deserve it. he gets so mad at me when this happens but i swear to god i have no control over it.
sometimes i wonder if everything i do is for attention. i'm pretty sure it's not. at least i hope not cuz that's a horribly vain thing to do.
i miss the seniors. i never realized how much my life sucks without them. i'm going to be so upset when carly and andy leave next year; i'm basically just going to turn into a puddle of sludge.
playing clarinet for 12 hours on 4 1/2 hours of sleep is like commiting suicide while throwing up music.
i need a hug.