too close to twelve for comfort
I've tried a beer, enough carbs to kill a banquet of Celiacs, a sedative, and all the bad tv shows I've ever tivoed. I'm still awake.
Tomorrow is the memorial. I have nothing to wear. I had to choose between looking like a real estate agent or an equestrian headmistress. I know it's not important.
What is important is the fierceness with which I don't want to see my family. I don't think I can explain it well enough for you to understand fully. But I can't sleep, so I'll try. Maybe I need to purge.
I complain about seeing my regular family, because it's awkward and we pick at each other until everyone wishes they were dead.
I complain about seeing my regular family because they drink and carry-on and make me sad in such a feeling of infinite truth that I can't comprehend the feeling aside form likening it to threading a needle with my soul.
That's my regular, 3 times a year family.
This is the family I haven't seen since I was about 12.
Mostly these people consist of two aunts (one biological) and two uncles (one biological).
They contain within their ranks a farmer, who robbed my dead uncle after his stroke 14 years ago and they hadn't spoken since. Another Uncle who works for Haliburton. An aunt who hates absolutley everything about my mother, her sister. Five cousins who have been home schooled, most of whom I've never even laid eyes on. And an entire family that subscribes to the true catholic beliefs of Mel Gibson and the Opus Dei.
They are bigots, and fanatics, and viciously fake and awful. Plus the haliburton uncle is lewd and I don't trust him farther then I can throw his boss, Cheney.
there shouldn't be any scenes. they are some variation of the classic North American WASP when they get together. But It's a day of awfulness none the less.
these people hadn't seen my Uncle Gil in over a decade. These people do not approve of the way normal people live. they give my mother hell about raising me and my sisters in the fashion she did.
I hate these people.
Good news is ti should get me going enough to get some additional poetry up here by the end of the weekend. Can't wait till the new mac gets here, then i could take it with me.
Tomorrow is the memorial. I have nothing to wear. I had to choose between looking like a real estate agent or an equestrian headmistress. I know it's not important.
What is important is the fierceness with which I don't want to see my family. I don't think I can explain it well enough for you to understand fully. But I can't sleep, so I'll try. Maybe I need to purge.
I complain about seeing my regular family, because it's awkward and we pick at each other until everyone wishes they were dead.
I complain about seeing my regular family because they drink and carry-on and make me sad in such a feeling of infinite truth that I can't comprehend the feeling aside form likening it to threading a needle with my soul.
That's my regular, 3 times a year family.
This is the family I haven't seen since I was about 12.
Mostly these people consist of two aunts (one biological) and two uncles (one biological).
They contain within their ranks a farmer, who robbed my dead uncle after his stroke 14 years ago and they hadn't spoken since. Another Uncle who works for Haliburton. An aunt who hates absolutley everything about my mother, her sister. Five cousins who have been home schooled, most of whom I've never even laid eyes on. And an entire family that subscribes to the true catholic beliefs of Mel Gibson and the Opus Dei.
They are bigots, and fanatics, and viciously fake and awful. Plus the haliburton uncle is lewd and I don't trust him farther then I can throw his boss, Cheney.
there shouldn't be any scenes. they are some variation of the classic North American WASP when they get together. But It's a day of awfulness none the less.
these people hadn't seen my Uncle Gil in over a decade. These people do not approve of the way normal people live. they give my mother hell about raising me and my sisters in the fashion she did.
I hate these people.
Good news is ti should get me going enough to get some additional poetry up here by the end of the weekend. Can't wait till the new mac gets here, then i could take it with me.