my testimony
Hi,
This is the most difficult thing to write but I made new friends with 2 people and they both shared their testimonies so I decided that it is time to share mine.
My name is Karissa when I was younger I went to sunday school than for some strange reason my dad made us stop going to church he just said he had his reasons. A few years after that I started going to Awanas which was fun but my dad refused to let us go to church on sundays. I went to Awanas for several years than when I was 12 I was sexually abused by 2 of my cousins. I had a hard time dealing with that but I just dealt with it. The summer before my freshman year I went over to babysit at my uncles house I stayed there all night babysitting his 3 little girls, I fell asleep and at about 2am he woke me up and wanted me to sleep in his room I was sleeping in a twin bed with my youngest cousin sara so I didn't feel like arguing so I just kinda followed him and went to sleep on his bed he turned the light off and started touching me in ways that he shouldn't have his girlfriend was passed out beside me the were drinking but still that is no exscuse. I freaked out and asked God to help me get out of there I felt like I was glued to the bed I was so scared, I jumped out of that bed so fast and slammed the door behind me I was going to run home that night but all I thought was they won't believe me. My brother asked his friend to take me to my freshman registration so he did but we came back to my house and no one was there so I just curled up on the couch to watch a movie, my brothers friend sat beside me and started talking to me and touching me and I thought of this guy as a brother I was so scared, there was no one home so I couldn't scream or get out. After these things I was pretty scared of guys and wanted nothing to do with them. I went on as best I could through my first year of highschool. Things seemed to be going good than I remembered the things that had been done to me so I started popping pills and cutting myself and I thought that this somehow would take away all the pain and suffering that I had endured.Than pretty soon came my sophomore year things were going ok and Valentines day rolled around my parents were going out and my brother was at the store and my younger sister was sick so I thought yay I get to be alone for Valentines day. My brother told me he was going to invite his best friend over so I decided to call my friends to see if I could spend the night neither one of my friends were home so I was stuch home. My sister was already asleep and my brother was in his room his best friend came over and I was staying up watching tv. my brother went to sleep and so did his friend, a few hours later his friend comes out to get a drink and looks at me I just look back at the tv. He comes and sits by me and starts talking and than he yanked me into th guest bedroom your probably wondering why I didn't scream, there was no point to scream my parents were gone and my sister was too sick and my brother was outside so no one would of heard me. I also didn't know if he had a knife tucked in his pants so I didn't scream. That night I was raped I was only 15 and he was 19 I thought to myself when he finally let me go that I somehow deserved this and that it was all my fault. I went on a youth trip to cali and I was in a hotel room with 3 girls and the one I was sleeping next to was one of my leaders I started to cry and she wanted to know what was wrong so I decided to go outside and she followed me it took me awhile to open up and I finally told her what happened than the next day she told the head leaders and when we got back they told the pastor. I got a phone call from them and my dad was extremely mad he punched a whole in the wall and demanded to know what was going on I finally told him and the church called CPS and the Cops, we went to my leaders house and talked over everything my dad said I was lying and that this was stupid and CPS came to our school and asked us a whole bunch of questions. I had to lie to CPS or my family would have been put in group homes. Just this past year my mom tried to kill herself my mom was tired of my dad lying to her about drinking and not saying where he was so they almost got a divorce and she told me she couldn't live with out him and that we would all be better off without her I was so mad at her because a couple years ago she had cancer and she had to get surgery and I just thought to myself you almost died and now you want to take your own life. my sister invited me to church so I came with her and they invited me to a camp they were going on that weekend I actually went and the first night we were there I decided to go sit outside and write and there was this girl who was playing with her cell phone and she started talking to me pretty soon I was telling her my whole life story and we got to talking about Jesus and she was a pastors daughter so she knew how to talk to me. I asked her to help me accept Jesus that night and I did and it was the most amazing feeling inmy life. I was changed forever I came back home and told my mom about it I have been save since January and I am so happy. I made alot of friends up at camp and my sister and I became closer and now life almost seems bearable with Jesus as my savior. The hardest thing about all this is that my dad didn't believe me but someday he will know the truth and than he will have to settle that with God. I hope that people will still want to be my friend because I am not the same person anymore and I don't want people to feel sorry for me sometimes things just happen and you don't know why. I am not angry with God anymore and I love God with all my heart thankyou for listening.
Kris