Mehhhh.
I hate my life lately. All it consists of is staying up all night to talk to Jeffery, searching for jobs which I don't even have the heart to hope for anymore, school work that I HATE, and cooking. The only good things are Jeffery and the cooking. But Jeffery is far, far away, and I won't see him again until Christmas. I haven't even talked to him on the phone since August. We did video chat once, last month, but it was grainy and the poor Afghanistan internet crapped out after like 10 minutes. I am so damn sick of this whole deployment thing. I am trying so hard to be positive and tell myself that we're over half way done, and it'll all be over soon, but honestly, 5 months still feels like an eternity. And I know, I'm supposed to have it easy, I'm at home, I don't have to worry about bombs going off and what not. I have a sneaking suspicion though that this sitting around waiting is actually much harder. I am lucky that I get to talk to him so often, and I'm very grateful for that. I can't imagine what it must have been like for us girls back home before e-mail, instant messaging, and the like. I'm also really lucky that he loves me as much as he does. Every day I wake up and I'm amazed that he actually still wants to be with me. I'm not sure I deserve someone so amazing. I'm just very much ready for things to change, for me to not have to miss him so much, for me to not have to deal with bullshit library school, for me to just HAVE A DAMN JOB ALREADY.
2009 is the worst year ever.
2009 is the worst year ever.