(no subject)
This week has been completely frustrating. Nothing seems to be going right. I feel sick, and I haven't eaten anything all day. I even took a long bubble bath to try and brighten my mood. Didn't work. I'm scared, because I haven't felt this way in a couple years, and the last time I did I was diagnosed with clinical depression. I've been doing really well this past year though, and I haven't needed my anti-depressants at all. I'm scared because I don't want to have to take them again. They make me completely numb. Nothing's sad, but nothing's happy either. I really don't want that, but this funk is killing me. It really is terribly frustrating. I just know I can't live like this. I'm going to make myself an appointment when I go home in a few weeks with my doctor, and maybe she can figure out something. I just don't know what to do until then.
I know, for most people, it's just feeling sad or down. For me, though, it really makes everything so difficult. Those commercials you see for anti-depressants? That's exactly how I feel. I have no motivation for anything. I'm just glad that this time around I know the signs, and I know that I need help. I don't have to live like this, and I guess at this point, numb is better than misery. And I'm sure that just like last time, it won't be forever. In a few months things will turn around and I can stop feeling numb again.
I just don't know.
I know, for most people, it's just feeling sad or down. For me, though, it really makes everything so difficult. Those commercials you see for anti-depressants? That's exactly how I feel. I have no motivation for anything. I'm just glad that this time around I know the signs, and I know that I need help. I don't have to live like this, and I guess at this point, numb is better than misery. And I'm sure that just like last time, it won't be forever. In a few months things will turn around and I can stop feeling numb again.
I just don't know.