manuscript scribblings >> the egyptologist on a date

Feb 14, 2006 17:04

happy shmalentine's day.i even have a relatively v-daze related poe-em to share! this piece came about from watching 'Nefertiti Resurrected' on the history channel a few weeks ago, and me being silly and writing too much 'bad date poetry' in general. and you can blame the wonderful rebecca seiferle for the use of "O!" to show rapture, as we met ( Read more... )

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monkeyman February 15 2006, 01:24:00 UTC
Gorgeous! I really think this is one of your best poems, dear girl.

That being said, I'm not sure if I like the end deviating completely from the Egyptian theme -- is there any way to give it some representation? 'Tis a bit of a shame that you've already used scarabs, as it pulls both the characters' interests together quite nicely. Anyway, just a thought -- I can't help but pick, you know me.

Any sight of a package down that way yet?

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poetrees February 15 2006, 01:28:39 UTC
sadly, no. but thank you for checking up on me. i await my deej-snail-mail lovin' everso excitedlike.

as for the ending...
my dear editing wizard, rebecca's notion of the last line is that it captures the egyptologist's rapture of "OH! she's touching me! OH! she's weird too!" but also, it's ambiguous-ish so...who knows who's bringing the ants next time. my thought on the ambiguity is that if it's his thought, then he's deviating from his interests to accomodate her. and if she's offering hers, well, that's a twist...

i'm surprised you think of it so highly. i was worried it's tragic humour and simplicity would mask the effort. thank you deej. xoxojojo

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monkeyman February 15 2006, 01:38:36 UTC
*shakes my fist threateningly at the international mails*

Well, I can see that, then -- it still jars me somewhat, but with that reading I understand where it comes from.

Ah, but I know what an effort it can be to achieve perfect simplicity ... and I say again that I think this is superb.

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sinful_caesar February 15 2006, 05:46:07 UTC
Ahhh! this was so great! definitely one of my favorites!

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