Ahhhh! to summer
It happens every summer, without a doubt. I get so freaking depressed and I don't even know why. Maybe its the lack of structure, or maybe because I have too much time to think...or maybe it's because so many bad things have happened to me during the summer (moving, going to the hospital for "rehab", Larry's death, several injuries). Whatever the reason, it always comes...always this horrible adjustment to summer that finally concludes the moment that summer is almost over. And this summer has been the worst, maybe because it's my last real summer vacation since I've now graduated high school. I mean, what it's been two weeks? And it already sucks...all the hard training at TGIF's, long hours at work, last minute graduation pressures... and the fact that I've only seen my boyfriend for about an hour in the past week. That last part really kills me... being around him just makes all the pressures seem worthwhile...I don't even know how I would have made it through my senior year without having met him and had him be a part of my life. It's only been a week, one short week, but I miss the hell out of him.
Undoubtedly, tonight has been one of panic and relief. First of all, I lazed around the house thinking too much, as I always do when I have that much time... and it occurred to me that I need to pay my car payment by monday. I thought I would call into work to see if I could pick up some hours on Saturday, just to learn I was already on the schedule to appear at work in...oh say, 30 minutes. Too bad that's how long it takes me to get there, and I was still sitting in my ridiculous gym clothes, having run the treadmill a mere 10 minutes ago. Realizing I needed the hours, and that I could go and screw up on my first independent shift, I had to call Chris and tell him I couldn't go out with him tonight because I had to work. He got home at 4. He never gets home at 4. Ever. And for some odd reason, today I miss him more than I can even explain. I just wanted to see him, to feel his arms around me...to have him push away my summer blues. It just sucks to only see him like 2 or 3 times a week (on good weeks) but between both of our work schedules, our time is precious...and rare. Anyways, I got to work, not too late and actually in a decent amount of time as I got ready at the speed of light... and I was assigned to the section that was first out...so it seemed ok, until Table 82. Here comes the panic. Two parents, four kids. Kids didn't like their slushies, dad didn't like his coke...dad ordered something that wasnt on the menu. I had to change it later and make all the food come out late. Forgot refills on a number of occasions. Completely neglected to enter their appetizer into the system, so they never got it. Had two other tables to take care of, thankfully they were low-maintenance and understanding. Anyways...I also separated the check irreversibly so it looked like I charged them more. There was a discrepancy on the check that I had to explain to a more the slightly convinced mother. Went back and changed that. Made such a royal mess of their 80 something dollar meal, that I was told not to expect a tip, and was pretty much just glad when they left...even though I'd spent an hour of my time screwing everything up. She left me a 12 dollar tip, thanked me on the way out, saying she'd been in the restaurant business for years and wishing me good luck. No...freaking way. I couldn't believe it. You just never know.
The rest of the night went somewhat free of mistakes, that is, until I left the parking lot that night. I don't know what is wrong with me, but I always forget to turn my lights on. I remembered as I was carelessly driving down the road going about 20 over the speed limit... and after absentmindedly (I swear to God, I don't even remember doing it) running a red light... I was pulled over by TWO cops. Panic. In all honesty, I figured I'd been speeding but didn't think about the lights or anything (and I would never knowingly run a red light! I swear...that still escapes me!). So she asks me what my problem is...and then tells me all the rules I was violating...wants my license and registration. I give her my license and then go looking for my registration (I didn't even know what it looked like, the other cop pointed it out) and then I just...start crying. It just came...I was honestly upset at myself for being so careless... and the stress of the rest of the night just flooded out. She told me to calm down and went back to her car with my license and registration. I just cried and cried...hoping to God that I would just not have to pay too much and that my insurance wouldn't skyrocket...and after five minutes that felt like forever, she came back and graciously told me that she would let me off with a warning. I wanted to hug her. As I was driving home (going the speed limit or 5 under), it sobered me to think of how important it is for me to drive well and how dangerously I was risking my own life. I was lucky...or maybe it was more than luck...either way, I made it home in one piece and I will DEFINITELY be so much more careful in the future.
Undoubtedly, tonight has been one of panic and relief. First of all, I lazed around the house thinking too much, as I always do when I have that much time... and it occurred to me that I need to pay my car payment by monday. I thought I would call into work to see if I could pick up some hours on Saturday, just to learn I was already on the schedule to appear at work in...oh say, 30 minutes. Too bad that's how long it takes me to get there, and I was still sitting in my ridiculous gym clothes, having run the treadmill a mere 10 minutes ago. Realizing I needed the hours, and that I could go and screw up on my first independent shift, I had to call Chris and tell him I couldn't go out with him tonight because I had to work. He got home at 4. He never gets home at 4. Ever. And for some odd reason, today I miss him more than I can even explain. I just wanted to see him, to feel his arms around me...to have him push away my summer blues. It just sucks to only see him like 2 or 3 times a week (on good weeks) but between both of our work schedules, our time is precious...and rare. Anyways, I got to work, not too late and actually in a decent amount of time as I got ready at the speed of light... and I was assigned to the section that was first out...so it seemed ok, until Table 82. Here comes the panic. Two parents, four kids. Kids didn't like their slushies, dad didn't like his coke...dad ordered something that wasnt on the menu. I had to change it later and make all the food come out late. Forgot refills on a number of occasions. Completely neglected to enter their appetizer into the system, so they never got it. Had two other tables to take care of, thankfully they were low-maintenance and understanding. Anyways...I also separated the check irreversibly so it looked like I charged them more. There was a discrepancy on the check that I had to explain to a more the slightly convinced mother. Went back and changed that. Made such a royal mess of their 80 something dollar meal, that I was told not to expect a tip, and was pretty much just glad when they left...even though I'd spent an hour of my time screwing everything up. She left me a 12 dollar tip, thanked me on the way out, saying she'd been in the restaurant business for years and wishing me good luck. No...freaking way. I couldn't believe it. You just never know.
The rest of the night went somewhat free of mistakes, that is, until I left the parking lot that night. I don't know what is wrong with me, but I always forget to turn my lights on. I remembered as I was carelessly driving down the road going about 20 over the speed limit... and after absentmindedly (I swear to God, I don't even remember doing it) running a red light... I was pulled over by TWO cops. Panic. In all honesty, I figured I'd been speeding but didn't think about the lights or anything (and I would never knowingly run a red light! I swear...that still escapes me!). So she asks me what my problem is...and then tells me all the rules I was violating...wants my license and registration. I give her my license and then go looking for my registration (I didn't even know what it looked like, the other cop pointed it out) and then I just...start crying. It just came...I was honestly upset at myself for being so careless... and the stress of the rest of the night just flooded out. She told me to calm down and went back to her car with my license and registration. I just cried and cried...hoping to God that I would just not have to pay too much and that my insurance wouldn't skyrocket...and after five minutes that felt like forever, she came back and graciously told me that she would let me off with a warning. I wanted to hug her. As I was driving home (going the speed limit or 5 under), it sobered me to think of how important it is for me to drive well and how dangerously I was risking my own life. I was lucky...or maybe it was more than luck...either way, I made it home in one piece and I will DEFINITELY be so much more careful in the future.