(no subject)

[poetictrdgdy]

sarah is on a plane right now over the middle of the pacific, heading out to new zealand. i haven't talked to her today and i'm not sure when she'll be near a phone next---not to mention, i fucking forgot/lost my cellphone in one of the art rooms at hillyer tonight. i basically locked it into a room i was leaving and can't get to it now. dumb dumb dumb. she may try to call me from fiji and i won't have my cell and i will have missed her call and then i won't be able to talk to her until she's finished with orientation at auckland and god-who-knows-how-long-thats-going-to-be and i know she's stressing too and i-want-to-talk-to-her and i'm sort of freaking-out-about-the-whole-she's-on-a-plane-to-new-zealand-thing right now. (!!!!!!!!!!)

and as much as i've been keeping myself busybusybusy and drunkdrunkdrunk or highasshit and chilling with friends and having a great time with them... i'm still coming home at the end of the night missing my girl and feeling like shit.

and its almost valentines day and im fucking lonely again, just like every depressing year.