(no subject)
life right now is not at its best. school sucks... and i know it's mostly my fault that my midterms were how they were... but it still sucks that i'm here. and people really need to stop telling me that i have to go to class and whatever... i'm not stupid and i know how school works thank you very much. and stop telling me that i need to work while i'm here and work now and whatever... cuz i know that i can't do anything about how it is here and now. once again, i'm not stupid.
then there's this whole thing with this weekend. people are getting pissed at me cuz they weren't invited to this party. i'm sorry... it's not my party. i can't invite people that i want to go with me, or i would. it's not my house, not my party. so i cant just take whoever i want, it's just plain rude. in fact, i'm not bringing anyone... and i don't even know who is or isn't invited. so please stop yelling at me. it's generally better to go to the source of something, and stop making the people who can't change it feel like shit. in this situation, that's very true. i'm sorry if you and someone else don't get along, i do what i can to help things like that and to be a good friend but that can only go so far.
i'm also having a very hard time liking my parents right now. i love them, don't get me wrong about that. but as of the last year or two... i dont like them very much. and i'm trying... but it's not easy with some of the things they do and the decisions they made and continue to make. if you can't understand the difference between me loving them and not liking them... let me know and i'll explain. sometimes, i just want things to be like they were a few years back. things were happier then. and i know i can't sit here and let that take up my time and wish about it... wishes just waste time, and nothing can ever come outta wishing unless you do something about it.
speaking of that... i've made some big decisions about doing what i want to do and getting things to be the way i want instead of just wishing, and although you may not agree with me, it's my plan. and to all the people who seem to be taking me leaving MI personally, don't please. i will miss sooo many people, but it just doesn't feel right to me. and yes, i'm going to go cliche on you and say i gotta leave and find myself. haha. i don't really... i just wanted to say that. anyway, in case you didn't know about my plans, i'm taking next semester off (which isn't a big deal especially since i plan on taking a few summer semesters as an undergrad to catch up and people do it all the time and end up just fine) and i'll be working full time as soon as possible till i save up enough to move out to southern california and start up school there. hopefully i'll get into somewhere like San Diego State, but if not, i'll go with a community college till i can transfer. so that's my plan, think of it what you will.
on another unhappy note, i have to leave for work in an hour and i'm not happy about that. and i really hope i have my help there, cuz last night the girl working cash didnt have help and had like 100 jobs to do cuz working cash, you also have to stock up stuff like cups, lids, silverware, milk, etc. so when you don't have 2 people doing it, it's hell.
by the way, i finally wrote in paragraphs cuz otherwise this entry would be even more confusing and annoying. so there ya go. and with that, i'm off to read a little before i leave. bye bye.
53
...what's left to lose? you've done enough. and if you fail, well then you fail, but not to us. cuz these last three years, i know they've been hard. but now it's time to get out of the desert and into the sun, even if it's alone...
then there's this whole thing with this weekend. people are getting pissed at me cuz they weren't invited to this party. i'm sorry... it's not my party. i can't invite people that i want to go with me, or i would. it's not my house, not my party. so i cant just take whoever i want, it's just plain rude. in fact, i'm not bringing anyone... and i don't even know who is or isn't invited. so please stop yelling at me. it's generally better to go to the source of something, and stop making the people who can't change it feel like shit. in this situation, that's very true. i'm sorry if you and someone else don't get along, i do what i can to help things like that and to be a good friend but that can only go so far.
i'm also having a very hard time liking my parents right now. i love them, don't get me wrong about that. but as of the last year or two... i dont like them very much. and i'm trying... but it's not easy with some of the things they do and the decisions they made and continue to make. if you can't understand the difference between me loving them and not liking them... let me know and i'll explain. sometimes, i just want things to be like they were a few years back. things were happier then. and i know i can't sit here and let that take up my time and wish about it... wishes just waste time, and nothing can ever come outta wishing unless you do something about it.
speaking of that... i've made some big decisions about doing what i want to do and getting things to be the way i want instead of just wishing, and although you may not agree with me, it's my plan. and to all the people who seem to be taking me leaving MI personally, don't please. i will miss sooo many people, but it just doesn't feel right to me. and yes, i'm going to go cliche on you and say i gotta leave and find myself. haha. i don't really... i just wanted to say that. anyway, in case you didn't know about my plans, i'm taking next semester off (which isn't a big deal especially since i plan on taking a few summer semesters as an undergrad to catch up and people do it all the time and end up just fine) and i'll be working full time as soon as possible till i save up enough to move out to southern california and start up school there. hopefully i'll get into somewhere like San Diego State, but if not, i'll go with a community college till i can transfer. so that's my plan, think of it what you will.
on another unhappy note, i have to leave for work in an hour and i'm not happy about that. and i really hope i have my help there, cuz last night the girl working cash didnt have help and had like 100 jobs to do cuz working cash, you also have to stock up stuff like cups, lids, silverware, milk, etc. so when you don't have 2 people doing it, it's hell.
by the way, i finally wrote in paragraphs cuz otherwise this entry would be even more confusing and annoying. so there ya go. and with that, i'm off to read a little before i leave. bye bye.
53
...what's left to lose? you've done enough. and if you fail, well then you fail, but not to us. cuz these last three years, i know they've been hard. but now it's time to get out of the desert and into the sun, even if it's alone...