Primal Parts 1-6

Jul 31, 2009 13:39


Title: Primal
Author: Poetics124
Rating: NC-17
Pairing:  Spock/Uhura
Summary:  When Commander Spock and Cadet Uhura travel to a unexplored planet to find new Federation technology, the planet begins to awaken Spock's primal urges.
Disclaimer:  Star Trek belongs to Paramount


Part 1

0350 hours.

She had found the miniscule crack in his wall and had unknowingly exploited it. Years of patient meditation and unwavering devotion to Surak’s teachings had built this wall. Years of being treated as an outsider on his own world had fortified it. His four years as a Starfleet cadet and three as an officer and instructor had justified that wall and its place inside of himself.

But one small word had undermined it all.

“Yes.”

Spock face had remained impassive and unreadable as she confessed it, but underneath a maelstrom churned in his stomach and logic left him.

“Yes, Commander. I am attracted to you…”

He should have never brought up her inappropriate feelings for him. He had had many female, and some males, become attached to him. Most of them were human and he merely dismissed it as illogical human emotion that would soon be replaced by another once they found him unresponsive and boring.

But Cadet Uhura was different. She was just as dedicated to her studies and to Starfleet as he was. Her knowledge was supreme in every area. Her work impeccable. He sometimes thought she would have been a proper Vulcan if she were not human. But that thought had only lasted for a moment.

So it led to his befuddlement when she had touched his ear. It had been a long day and even a longer night. Their research into the multiple languages of the Gouri had produced many good findings. It would be an excellent thesis for her to undertake and flesh out for her graduation project.

“Commander?”

“Yes, Cadet Uhura.”

“I…let me do this.”

Her hand reached out suddenly and she softly touched his inner ear and tracing it outside to the pointed tip... Spock held back a shudder from her soft fingers and then flinched backwards.

“Cadet Uhura, this is highly inappropriate.”

She stayed silent but her eyes were resolute.

“It would be unfortunate to know that your feelings go beyond our roles as instructor and cadet. It serves no advantage. It is highly illogical.”

“Yes.”

She met his eyes and Spock was transfixed. How could he have been caught so unaware of her growing emotionality? Humans were simple and easy to read. Spock was perplexed.

“Yes Commander, I am attracted to you. And if that offends your Vulcan sensibility then that’s too damn bad.”

She collected her PADDs and stood up to leave from his office. Spock sat there and watched her go.

It took him thirteen seconds to submerge his emotions at her outburst. He regretted that it did not take one.

******

“Shit! Shit! Shit!” Nyota Uhura whispered and closed her eyes. How could she have been so stupid? How could she have thought to risk her career over caressing a Vulcan’s ear? Her walking pace became faster as she made her way through the Academy quad. There was no one out this late at night and she was grateful. This way she could work on her anger and disappointment with no one watching.

For two years she had kept her emotions for Commander Spock bottled up and she couldn’t hold it in anymore. Her small bout with insanity shamed her but at the time it seemed her only choice. In that moment he had looked so touchable and somewhat venerable. Her reaction had been months in the making after all of his small quirks of the lips when he was amused to his eyebrow arches when he was curious. From his deep thoughts on what others would call scientific minutiae to his interesting views of human frailty, she had fell under his spell and made the worst assumption ever.

That he could return her affections for him.

“Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!”

She had put her position as his aide in jeopardy. She could get serious demerits for this if the commander took her remarks personally. He may even assign her to another advisor for her paper on Gouri dialects. How would it look on her record? How would she ever get her dream assignment to the Enterprise if she had that black mark?

She had worked too hard to fail at this point in her life. Uhura sighed. She was going to sleep on it and see Commander Spock in the morning to smooth things over. It was her best chance.

0630 Hours

“Commander Spock, I am glad you made it on time. At ease.”

Spock slightly relaxed in front of Captain Ailes and took a seat when Ailes gestured toward it. They sat in silence for a few seconds as Ailes signed off on a couple of padds and moved them to the side of his desk.

“Sir you wished to see me?”

“Indeed, Commander. “ Ailes tented his fingers. “We are going to send a Starfleet crew to research a small Gourian planet…Gourian V to be exact and we want you to be involved.”

Spock’s eyebrows raised.

“Gourian V has become an amazing planet, Spock. There has been unequalled growth there as well as newly discovered underground cities with new technology that could be beneficial to the Federation. I thought of you when the Captain of the Meridian asked who would be a good pick for this mission. You were one of my best pupils and I believe you would be an asset.”

“Fascinating.” Spock’s eyebrows lowered as he thought over the request. “I will consider it.”

“Good. And you can pick anyone to travel with you, preferably someone who is familiar with Gouri culture. These text should be hard to crack.”

Spock sat still for a moment. His mind went through calculations and addressed candidates who could journey with him. His mind flipped over and over his choices until he came to the only logical choice.

“I believe Cadet Uhura, my student aide, would be ideal for this mission.”

Part 2

1030 hours

“Excuse me, sir?”

“I am offering you to accompany me to Gourian V to research the Gouri language as well as assist me in translations of any text we may find. The Federation suspects that there is ancient technology within the caverns below the planet that they believe is worthy of further inquiry.”

This was not what she had expected when she had come into his office this morning. She had expected him to say how much of a mistake her actions were last night. How she had been unprofessional to come on to an officer that way and admit her attraction. That he was going to recommend her removal as his aide.

What she had not expected was for him to offer her an official mission with Starfleet aboard the Meridian.

“Commander, I understand what you are offering I’m just very confused as to the why?”

Spock bent his head slightly to the side as if examining a specimen in a jar.

“You are one of the most proficient and capable students in Starfleet. It was the logical choice.”

“But Commander,” Nyota took in a breath, “I’m sure there were other officers that could have joined you. I’m merely a cadet.”

“You were the logical choice.”

If Spock had been human, Nyota thought, he would have explained his choice with effusive praise for her and her abilities. Maybe even called her gifted.

But this was Spock and that was all she was going to get from him.

“But what about my paper on the Gouri? I don’t have a lot of time….”

“This will present an optimal opportunity to improve your research. I see no difficulty.”

Nyota sighed and looked down. “What about…”

“About the actions of last night? It is irrelevant.”

Uhura closed flinched at his answer. She could hear him moving closer to her and soon he was in her personal space.

“I am sorry.”

“What?” Nyota looked at him as if he had grown a second head.

“I was derelict in my duties and offended you by dismissing your emotions. I forget how emotional human beings can become.”

That didn’t make it better. Uhura was tempted to just walk out of his office right then and there.

“It was my duty as your superior to monitor your state of being. I, in short, should have stopped your feelings before they started.”

Nyota held back the wetness forming in dark brown eyes and looked away from his deeply impersonal ones. Spock was about to continue but she cut him off.

“What time are we leaving sir?”

“Tomorrow morning at 0400 hours.”

“May I be dismissed so I can properly prepare.”

“Of course. Dismissed.”

Nyota gave a short nod and walked out of his office again more agitated over the state of her feelings for him than she had ever been. Never again, she promised herself, never would she put her romantic feelings over her career.

1220 hours: The Next Day

His mother, when he was a child, read him stories of human gods who lived in the skies on Earth. She would smile while she read them and he believed that her smile was as fascinating as the alien stories that were laid out before them.

In one of these humanoid stories, the goddess Hera was so upset by her husband’s infidelities she wished to murder one of his children by another woman. His younger self had replied that this was illogical as why would Zeus’ need to reproduce as many offspring as possible to further his race cause such destruction? His mother had laughed and told him that maybe he was too Vulcan to understand.

As he watch Cadet Uhura have dinner with a young ensign in the Meridian mess hall he suddenly had a certain empathy for Hera.

Why was she laughing? Spock wondered as her face turned up into a smile and her laughter reached his ears. His eyes went to her hand on the ensign’s hand and felt a slight burning in his heart. It took him two minutes to submerge it before he approached the table.

Both stood at attention and Spock signaled for them to sit again. The brown haired man looked nervous.

Good, Spock thought before he chided himself for allowing emotion to surface.

“Cadet Uhura, I wish to inform you we will arrive at Gourdian V in the next four hours and will require updated logs about the dialects we will need on the surface. I will be waiting for you in the transporter room.”

Cadet Uhura nodded her head and then turned back to her companion. “Commander Spock, this is Ensign Troy Carter.”

Troy Carter held out his hand. “Nice to meet you sir.”

Spock looked at it. “To you as well.”

He then walked away without a look back.

“Now I don’t know a lot about Vulcans, but did he seem a little pissy to you?”

Nyota held back her laughter and took a small drink of her juice. Commander Spock had been a little off but she wasn’t really worried about was going on with him. She was looking forward to the translations that lay ahead of her and the adventure of being on one of the Gourian worlds. And she was also enjoying the company of Ensign Carter who had asked her to lunch after meeting her in the transporter room.

No, he wasn’t Spock, but he was intelligent and handsome. He had interesting conversation and a humor she had grown to miss for the past couple of months. Being involved with her thesis and with her Commander had robbed her of a social life. She didn’t know how much she had missed it until now.

“So…tell me more about the Orion girls.”

Ensign Carter laughed.

1900 hours: Gourian V

Something was wrong. He could feel his temperature getting hotter than normal since arriving on the planet. Gourian V was no hotter than Earth or Vulcan so his temperature should not be so altered. He and Cadet Uhura had been searching the underground homes for signs of books or tablets but had come up empty handed. Their Gourian guide had not been much help either, unfamiliar with the planet that was far from his birth place of Gourian III.

The area around them was a pale and rocky gray. The ancient homes of the Gourdians were from the rock and in the rock. The caverns twisted and turned and they had stopped many times so that Uhura could rest. This gave him a chance to explore inside of the homes more thoroughly. The small enclaves had small beds made of a soft material that Spock was not familiar with. For each enclave there was a circular middle area where there was a fire pit. Necko, their guide, suspected that it may have been the Gourian meeting place for each community.

“Commander Trell.”

“Yes, Spock.” Commander Trell answered from Spock’s communication device.

“We have found nothing of import yet. We will report back to the surface for a debriefing.”

“Okay Commander. Meet you back surface side.”

Spock attempted to close his communicator but his hand shook and it fell to the ground. Spock attempted to pick it up but it once again fell out of his hand.

“Commander Spock, are you okay?” Nyota asked as she picked up the communicator and handed it to him. Spock looked into her eyes and could see the concern.

“I am fine, Cadet Uhura.”

“You don’t look fine, sir. You are sweating.”

And irrational anger awoke in him and he sneered at her.

“I told you I am fine!”

Uhura stepped back from him shocked and even more concerned. Spock looked from her, ashamed by his loss of control. What was happening to him?

“I apologize for my harsh words.”

“It’s okay. I just want to make sure you are all right.”

“I will be fine. We will continue back to the surface.”

“Okay.”

She walked ahead of him through a small path in the rocks. Spock looked around and inside began to panic. It couldn’t be? Though Spock had never went through it he had heard many of the elders of Vulcan whisper of it.

Plak tow. Blood fever.

It would be impossible, Spock thought to himself, Father told me that my human genes purged the need from within me.

Spock held back a shudder. He would have the Meridian’s Chief Medical Officer examine him for higher serotonin levels. If they were out of balance he would have to cancel his mission and return to Vulcan.

He hoped for everyone’s sake that it was not the case.

Part 3

0936 Hours: Gourian V

“Man, I wish we could beam down below the surface

Uhura grunted in agreement as she put down her science kit on the jungle surface. Ensign Carter and Necko did the same while Spock merely surveyed their surroundings. They were in front of the cave entrance that led to the underground caverns. The density of the rocks below surface made it tricky for transporter beams to be accurate, leaving all officers to hike in and out of the entrance. Ensign Carter had joined them for this mission because of his awareness of certain compounds other groups had found in the surface that might make their trip much more successful this time around. Uhura was glad to have him with them.

“We will break here for a few minutes but then we must continue on. Our mission must be completed before the ion storm.”

“Is he always a hard ass like this?” Carter whispered in Uhura’s ear.

“Yeah, but it makes you a better officer at the end.” Uhura answered not taking her eyes off of Spock. He was shivering again and Uhura could not stop her worry for him. Spock never shook and he never got sick. Something was wrong. Since coming to the planet he had been snappy and inhospitable, even by his standards. He had yelled at a young lieutenant who had helped with the transport and occasionally she could spot him giving Carter hard looks.

The looks he was giving her, however, were something else. She felt heat enter her cheeks at the stare he had given her while she had drunken water on the third mile of their hike. He hadn’t taken his obsidian eyes off of her. If she hadn’t known better she would have thought….

“It is time for us to go.”

“Aye, sir.” Ensign Carter replied. He stood and then helped Nyota stand, pushing her close to his body. Carter gave a big grin and she smiled back. When she looked at Spock she only saw his blue uniformed back going off into the distance.

*****

1030 hours

“Sir, maybe we should head back.” Carter huffed. They had made it several kilometers inside of the caves and Uhura could hear the rumbling of a distant storm from even in here.

“We will accomplish our mission.” Spock answered determined. He would not be shown up in front of this upstart. He would prove he was valuable. He could be valuable to Cadet Uhura.

******

1258 hours

He would kill him. He was sure of it. Carter had no business touching her like that.

No business.

Spock tempered his breath as he entered a new cavern. It was difficult to think on this planet. It was impossible to keep his emotions in check. He was utterly baffled as to the reasons why. The CMO had given him a clean bill of health. His serotonin levels were perfectly normal.

Then why did he have the sudden urge to mate with Cadet Uhura? To take her in his arms and make her his. To satisfy any want that she had both physically and mentally. It was illogical.

The ensign made it worse. He touched her too much and she seemed interested in him. Spock understood her need for bonding after his rejection of her. But it didn’t make him less angry or…jealous that Ensign Carter was getting the attention he craved from her. Carter was going to take her from him. Was going to mate with her. It was his fault.

His thoughts led away to what would have happened if he had kissed her after she had touched his ear that night. If he had made love to her. Like I had wanted to, Spock confessed to himself. He knew these were inappropriate thoughts but he could not stop them anymore than he could stop the Earth’s tides.

He felt deeply ashamed of being unable to control his emotions.

“Commander! I think we have something.”

Spock ran back to where Necko, Uhura, and Ensign Carter were kneeling. He spotted some type of silver element in the ground.

Uhura ran her chemical scanner over the metal.

“No readings on this. I don’t think that this substance has been seen before.”

Carter tapped it with his hand. “Doesn’t feel or sound hollow. Necko, give me that pick.”

Necko retrieved the small pick from his bag and Carter began to work on it. Spock shivered.

“Commander? Maybe you should go back up to the ship and get checked out.”

“I have seen a doctor. I am in perfect health.”

Nyota sighed. “You don’t look like it.”

Spock did not respond and continued to look at Carter digging the object out. Carter picked into the hard rock for ten minutes and finally yanked it loose from the ground.

“What is it?” Uhura questioned.

“It looks like some type of knife or something. Necko put it in your bag, we’ll research it later.”

Necko put the pick and the knife into his nap sack and they continued on their journey.

Spock was ahead of everyone else when he heard Uhura’s laugh from behind him. Was she laughing with him again, Spock thought with anger pouring through him like lava. Carter had no right to make her laugh. No right to entertain her. He paused where he was and everyone stopped.

“ I believe it is highly inappropriate for laughter at this point and time.”

“Aye sir.” Carter replied and laughed a little.

Spock turned around and got into the young ensign’s face.

“What is so amusing?”

“Calm down. I agree with you sir.”

“Commander, it is okay.”

“It is not okay.” Spock replied inhaling deeply and squaring his shoulders and puffing up his chest.

“What is wrong with you?” Nyota answered ready to get in between them.

“Hey, yeah we need to continue.” Necko squaked, his beak opening rapidly.

“It is none of your concern.” Spock stated coldly.

“Commander!”

“Nyota, it’s okay.” Carter replied placing a hand on her arm.

Spock’s jaw tightened and his lips turned into a sneer. “Nyota, is it? Is that what you call her now?”

Uhura’s mouth opened at Spock’s behavior. She had never seen him so…emotional.

“I think we need to get back to the ship. Commander Spock, I believe that you need to get checked out immediately. You are acting illogical.”

Nyota’s words made him more angry and he stared at her with some mixture of lust and outrage. Carter, sensing Spock was about to lose it, made a critical error.

He touched Spock’s arm.

He didn’t see the punch coming.

*****

“Oh, my!” Necko barked and tried to get the Vulcan off of Carter as much as he possibly could. Uhura tried to do the same but it did not stop the punches from raining down on the young ensign at a rapid pace.

“Commander stop!!” Uhura yelled but he continued hitting Carter, drawing blood.

He was in a rage. He could see nothing but red. Nothing but his enemy fallen before. There would be no challenge. There would be no question.

Nyota belonged to him.

“Commander stop!! Please, god! Stop!” Nyota began hitting Spock on his back to get him to stop. It didn’t faze him and he continued unabated. They all fell to the floor and Spock got a grip on the Ensign’s neck.

“Commander please stop! You are going to kill him! Commander! Commander! Spock!”

He froze at the desperation in her voice and the use of his name. She sounded scared. He let go of the grip on Ensign Carter’s neck and tried to rise with the pressure of both Uhura and Necko on his back. They released him.

He stood and looked down at Carter only to see Carter gasping for air and trying to wipe the blood off of his face. Uhura went to Carter and cradled his head in her lap.

“What is wrong with you!” Uhura screamed. She looked at him as if he were a monster.

Spock was sickened by his display of rage. His entire life he had prided himself on his control. And now it was nothing. It was all turned to ashes before him.

“I…I apologize.”

Spock then walked off into another cavern. It was not until much later that he realized Uhura had been speaking in his native Vulcan dialect to get him to stop.

*****

“Necko, take care of him.”

Uhura gently laid Carter’s head down and ran off to follow Spock. He owed her an explanation of what the hell was wrong with him. This was so unlike her brilliant and unemotional instructor. In her entire time of knowing him he had never been a hothead or violent. He had always been rational and distant.

She was going to find him, give him a piece of her mind, and drag his sorry ass back to the ship to get him checked out.

“You must hurry! The ion storm!” Necko called out.

She ran into the cavern she had seen him disappear into and quickly assessed where he might have gone. He might be bigger and stronger than she was but she was good at figuring things out.

“Commander! Commander Spock!” She called out. She entered one of the rocky homes and spotted him sitting on one of the beds, his head in his hands. She could see from his palms he was sweating again. This was not good.

“Commander?” She came closer to him and crouched down so she could see his face. “Spock?”

“I am sorry. Is Ensign Carter all right?” He asked through his hands.

“He seems like he will be fine. How about you?”

“I fear…I fear that I may be losing my mind.”

She teared up at the sound of his voice. He seemed so…lost.

“We’re going to get you to a doctor. We are going to find out what is happening to you.”

“I know what is happening. I just cannot explain it.” He released his hands from his face and his eyes were so sad it took her breath away.

“What is it? Spock, baby, tell me.”

He shivered at her words even though he knew she had let endearment out by accident. He had heard many humans use the expression and found himself glad she used it for him. He groaned. That was the problem, he shouldn’t be feeling anything.

“I believe I am into the deeper phases of Pon Farr.”

Nyota eyes burrowed. “Pon Farr? What is Pon Farr?”

Suddenly the earth shook around them and Spock grabbed hold of her. It was the ion storm.

“We should have left earlier. I have been absent in my duties.” Spock replied as both rapidly raced toward the cavern entrance. He held her arm firmly, the first firm touch he had ever given her, and tried to run as fast as he could. The cavern shook again.

“Spock, watch out!”

He felt her suddenly push him out of the way and down. Rocks tumbled from the roof and sides of the cavern. Spock twisted around and covered her body with his own. The rumbling and shaking stopped. Spock held her to his chest as he sat up. He turned his head to see that rocks were covering their exit.

They were trapped.

Part 4

1642 hours: Gourian V

She observed him; his legs folded together, his hands palms up on his knees. Sweat was coming down his face and small shudders were running through his body.

“You must stay away, Cadet Uhura.”

“I’m not going to let you go through this alone.”

“It is dangerous for you!”

She took in a deep breath and leaned her head against the entry way to one of the bigger rock domiciles. He looked as if he were in physical pain from this affliction he had told her about. When he explained it to her earlier after their survival from the collapse he had seemed so embarrassed.

They were lucky that this cavern seemed to be self sustaining and had some natural light from the Gourian crystals lined all around the cave. They may have stumbled into the royal chambers as there was plenty of room and the rock house was bigger than the others as was the community circle. That was where Spock continued his meditation for the fourth hour.

“My pon farr is accelerating faster than normal for a Vulcan male. I do not know if it is because of my unique genetic structure or your presence. I fear I may be going into plak tow at a rapid pace.”

“Plak tow?”

“It is the final stage of pon farr and is marked by sweating, extreme shaking, and total mental breakdown that robs the victim of his speech. It is the stage before….”

“The stage before what?”

“The stage before killing our enemy, mating, or….death.”

Nyota shuddered at the memory of the look in his eyes. He told her that there were some Vulcans that could get out of their Pon Farr by extreme meditation and that he could possibly delay the final stage if he was not distracted by…her.

“I don’t want to leave you. You look as if you’re suffering.”

“I will be fine. My pain is caused by my need to mate.”

“Well then why don’t…”

“No! Vulcans have twice the strength of humans. It will be a painful experience for you. It will also bond…”

“Bond what?”

“I will have to propose a koon-ut-so’lik towards you and this bond is not easily broken if it is at all.”

“I’m confused.”

“The koon-ut-so’lik is like a human marriage proposal which can then be followed by kal'i'farr.”

"Kal'i'farr? Doesn't that mean..."

"Marriage. I cannot do that to you, Cadet Uhura. I cannot ask you to make that choice."

Spock shuddered and his palms folded into fists. He squeezed his eyes closed tighter. He was going through pain to spare hers. He would not force her to do this. He was unable to cause her harm and doing so he was risking his own death.

This knowledge pushed her regard for him deeper.

*****

Spock had never experiences such erotic images in his life. And it was all of her. Touching him. Kissing his lips.

Her surrounding him with her human flesh.

“I must concentrate. I cannot harm her.”

His tried to relax his muscles from tensing. He escaped into his own memory. Into his own childhood.

“You have hurt mother!”

“Spock you are acting illogical. It is not becoming of a Vulcan.”

“I saw the bruises on her. She is harmed and bedridden. It is only logical to conclude that you did it as she was only with you during the night.”

“Spock.” He heard his mother call from the bedroom. “Spock, come to me.”

Spock entered into her room and she met him with an understanding smile. His eight year old mind could not comprehend this. She was hurt, by his father, and yet she smiled? Illogical.

He went to her bedside and she took his hand.

“Spock, I am fine.”

“But you are bruised. You cannot leave your bed. It looks as if you have wrestled with a le’mantya.”

Her laughter echoed through the room and he turned to his father to see him turn to a pale shade of green.

“I am a good hurt Spock. Sarek, explain this to your son.”

“He is too young Amanda.”

“He can handle it Sarek. He must understand and I think that only a Vulcan can tell him.”

Sarek merely nodded and walked with his son outside.

“Spock…every Vulcan male when he reaches a certain age experiences….experiences an illogical moment…”

“Spock.”

He could smell her. He could smell her…arousal.

Spock opened his fevered eyes and saw her in front of him.

“I am yours if you want me. I can't just sit her and watch you suffer and die. I...I care too much for you to let that happen. So we are going to do what we have to do to get you out of it.”

A small struggle formed in himself as he watched her standing there, brave and determined. The struggle was over in one second.

“Nyota,” was all that escaped from his lips before he was upon her.

******

“Touch…Touch my two fingers Nyota.”

She touched his fingers with hers and Spock shuddered.

“Repeat.” He was starting to shake harder and his words were coming out more slowly and sluggish. She nodded her head.

“As…as it was from the dawn of our days.” Spock faltered and closed his eyes.

“As it was from the dawning of our days.” Nyota touched his face. “It’s okay Spock.”

Spock nodded and opened his eyes again. They had to complete this or the emotional bond would not be complete and their mating would be useless to fight against his blood fever.

“As…as…as it will be for all our tomorrows.”

“As it will be for all of our tomorrows.” Nyota caressed his two fingers with her own two fingers. Spock showed his teeth.

“To….to you I consecrate all that…that I am.”

“To you, Spock, I consecrate all that I am.”

“From you, Nyota, I receive all that I am.” As Spock said the words he knew them to be true. She was one of the most open of people he had ever met in his life. Her laughter and her warmth was something he had looked forward to in their years as instructor and student. Her loyalty something that he had depended on for years as friends. And now her sacrifice to him as future lovers.

“As it….it….was in the beginning.”

“As it was in the beginning.”

“So…so shall it be now.”

“So it shall be now.” She caught the emotion in his eyes and for a moment thought maybe…just maybe this was more than satisfying a need for him. Maybe he had actual feelings for her.

“Two…two bodies and one…one mind.” Spock caressed her finger and joined her other hand. He lifted one of his hands to her face and splayed his fingers.

“One mind.” He whispered and Nyota felt overwhelmed by the sense of him. He was everywhere. She was drunk from him. He was inside of her head, surrounding her thoughts, clouding her judgment with his need and his pleasure. It heightened her own.

He dipped his head to her neck and began to suckle her skin. He ripped the top of her uniform and pushed her to the floor. He tugged off her underwear, lifting her skirt, and jerked off his pants.

She was ready for mating.

Part 5

******

Nyota Uhura had never felt anything like this before . His determined thrusts and hard hands in her hair forced her to look at him. There was a possession in his eyes and a need. He looked very different from the Spock she knew but somehow the same.

His face lowered to her nipple and sucked hard, his thrusts erratic and pulsing. His mouth was set at a determined line and sweat flowed down his brow. She touched his ears and his pumping became faster. He began to moan and his grip on her hair became painful.

“Nyota!” He had his orgasm a short while after he had started but to Nyota it felt as if his orgasm was her own. She yelled and gripped his hair pulling harder than she had ever pulled anything. Spock breath was short and she could feel his heart beating on his side in a rapid manner.

It was one of the best sexual experiences in her life. Spock licked her neck and removed himself from her.

“Nyota, turn over.”

Nyota breathed in deep. Spock was not done yet.

*****

1754 hours: Gourdian V

She could feel him inside of her mind and could feel the small flashes of his own memory in hers. He raked his nails down her back and growled with satisfaction. He could anticipate her wants and she could anticipate his.

“Spock,” she gasped as forehead came down to his. They were connecting again. Nyota was alone but not alone. Together with him but not. It was…intoxicating.

She sat in his lap pleasing him at a leisurely pace. They had retreated into the stone shelter after her knees threatened to give on the hard stone. He, always silent, but not silent, had laid his body slowly on the bed.

“Mate.” He simply stated. That had been like this ever since and Nyota could sense this was his favorite position.

She suddenly could see an image of him embracing a woman who looked a lot like her. She came to the understanding that it had been a fantasy. His fantasy.

“Who knew?” She stated lifting her head as she rocked her hips. “That whole time.”

Spock licked her chest. “Always…Nyota. Always.”

So he had fantasized about her. She rocked her hips harder and he gasped. A sense of pleasure washed through her but she knew it was not hers.

Uhura had heard rumors of being under the power of a touch telepath but she had never thought she would actually experience it. Spock closed his eyes and let her ride him, considerate of her growing soreness and bruised arms from his grabbing during their lovemaking.

“It’s okay Spock. You didn’t hurt me.”

She kissed his lips with a closed mouth and his cheeks and Spock was lost. An image came to his mind of him ravishing her on his office desk.

“Nyota?”

“Do you know how many times I wanted you?”

Spock gritted his teeth and began to thrust upward. Nyota whispered in his ear.

“How much I still want you?”

*****

1920 hours

Spock didn’t know how he could survive this. This was worse than being consumed by the fires of Pon Farr. Mating and having her was driving him insane with want. His mind to her mind. His thoughts to hers. The intensity of their mating. He was overwhelmed by feeling. By knowing. Nothing about her was hidden from him.

He had never felt anything like her.

“You were a virgin?” She paused her strokes.

He was unaware that the thought had passed his mind. She could read his thoughts during the mating as well.

“Nyota, please.”

She continued and he was in heaven. Her mouth on him. Stroking him. Her tongue teasing him. He had to have her again.

“Stop, Nyota. Lay back.” Spock said pushing her head up and laying her on the bed. “I will be gentle. I promise.”

She spread herself before him and he had a hard time keeping his promise.

******

Nyota did not know how long they had been doing this but she shared Spock’s need to do this. This need increased with his need of her. Her arousal was boosted by his arousal. The normal soreness that came from long bouts of lovemaking was out of her mind to the point there was no pain or soreness. There was nothing but him. But them.

No man will ever compare, Uhura thought, they’ll never even come close.

Spock was nearing the end of his endurance but his mind was becoming more one with her mind and he could not stop. All of his senses were heightened, all of them aware of her. As his final orgasm approached he could not stop thinking about the first time he met her sitting in the front of his classroom, her eyes questioning, her long hair in her trademark ponytail. Her smile radiant.

I do not deserve her, Spock thought. He caught a thought from her that undid him.

But I want you, Spock. Only you.

He came with a ferocity that he did not know himself capable of. He gave a long groan and closed his eyes tight. He felt himself break through his fever. His thirst was quenched. Spock opened his eyes, breathing in deeply, and looked down at his lover.

“Nyota?”

She had fainted.

*****

0430 hours: The Next Day

Nyota Uhura was unaware of when she had passed out but she knew it had been the best time of her life. She tried her best to sit up on the bed only to find her entire lower body sore and numb. She flinched as she looked at the bruises that were forming on her arms and legs. She had had sex before where she felt weak and sore afterwards before, but this was on a totally different level.

Well, Nyota you’ve never made love for that long of a period before either, she thought, nor have you been mental stimulated by the same partner.

What was left of her uniform and been placed neatly on the edge of the soft surface that made up the Gourian bed. Spock was nowhere to be found.

His presence in her mind was gone as well and she missed it immediately. She had learned so much about him from the bonding. About his mistreatment on Vulcan. His struggles with his human mother and Vulcan father. Being a child of two worlds. Of his care for her.

“Oh Spock.” She whispered to herself. She laid back down on the bed. If only she could read his mind right now.

****

“Commander Spock to the Meridian. Commander Spock to the Meridian.”

He tapped his communicator and then closed it with frustration. He stared at the exit still covered over in rocks and sighed to himself.

This was his fault. His emotions caused them to be in this situation. How could he have been so foolish to put her in this position?

She had been hurt. Her human senses had caused her to pass out from being overwhelmed by their mind meld. She was bruised from his love. He had to get her help and once they were back at the Academy he would give her another advisor and another instructor to serve under.

He had overstepped his bounds and let his passions drive him. And now he had possibly connected her to him for life! What was to say that she wanted to be with him and stay his....

Wife, Spock thought to himself, she is my bond mate and wife now.

But she did not have to honor it. Their vows were not witnessed by others and while his explanation of what she would be doing by entering into this with him; he doubted that she would believe in their marriage or in their attachment. Vulcan ways were not her ways. Human emotions were fickle and she, more than likely, would grow tired of him and want to be with someone of her own kind. He could not promise her the passion she had found in him today in the future. How long would it take for her to be bored of him and want someone that could understand her and her emotions? There were some things he simply could not give her both by choice and by his Vulcan nature.

He had to let her go. There was no other logical way.

*****

0634 hours

Ensign Carter was hopeful that the both Commander Spock and Cadet Uhura were alive under the surface. It had been only two days since he and their guide Necko had survived the ion storm and beamed off the planet. He was hopeful that he and the rest of his team could free them from the rocks that entrapped them

He was worried about Cadet Uhura the most. He didn’t know a lot about Vulcans but he did know enough to know what was going on with the Commander was out of character. He hoped that the Vulcan had not harmed her.

*****

She was tired of being in bed. She had not seen Spock since earlier in the day and she had spent much of her time recovering from their lovemaking. She felt a dirty mess, her hair was out of place, and she wanted to know where the hell Spock was. She was attempting to get up when she saw Spock enter.

“Cadet Uhura, it would be a prudent action to lay back on the bed.”

So it’s back to Cadet huh? Nyota thought.

“Spock….”

“I have found water in which you may wash yourself and drink.” He laid down the Gourian bowl and ripped off a part of his uniform to make a rag. Nyota simply stared at him.

“Spock, we need to talk.”

“There is no need to talk Cadet Uhura. You did me a great service.”

If Nyota hadn’t been bonded to him she would have smacked him in the face for his remark. But she had seen and taken away too much from him to be fooled.

“I know you care about me Spock.”

“My care is irrelevant.”

“Don’t give me that Vulcan bullshit!”

Spock quirked his eyebrows. He had never seen her this upset.

“You don’t have the right to screw my brains out, share yourself with me, and then walk away like nothing happened!” Nyota shifted her legs and Spock betrayed his concern for her by placing his hand on her thigh.

“It is logical you rest.”

“It’s logical you stop denying what happened between us.”

“We can continue this conversation after we are rescued.”

Nyota leaned forward and placed her lips on his. Spock froze and fought with himself.

“You don’t have the right.” Nyota said kissing him over and over. “Damn you. You don’t have the right to shut me out.”

*****

“We almost have it.” With a boost of the compressor the boulders and rocks fell to the side.

Ensign Carter was the first one into the cavern. “Commander Spock! Cadet Uhura!”

*****

Spock was breathing her in again. It was not the bonding of Pon Farr but it was close. He was aware of nothing but her. She was all that mattered. She began to remove his shirt.

*****

Ensign Carter searched the cavern but could not spot either of the missing officers.

“Ow! Spock!”

Ensign Carter gripped his phaser.

*****

“I apologize, my Nyota.” He kissed her cheek in apology for touching one of her bruises.

“Oh my god! Nyota, what did he do to you?”

Spock turned to see Ensign Carter along with the rest of his team at the door. Spock rose from his crouch.

“You green-blooded bastard! What did you do?”

Spock made the mistake of stepping forward and Ensign Carter fired his weapon. The last thing Spock heard before he fell unconscious on the floor was Nyota screaming his name.

Part 6

1432 hours: Earth: Four days later

She had not slept. She had kept her mind too busy for that. Since her return from Gourian V, Nyota Uhura was either in class or in the lab non-stop. She avoided his office and his classroom. Her mind was full of syntax and phonemes of alien languages and not of his hands or his kisses.

It was better this way.

Uhura took in a breath as she walked her way down to her doorway to take a small break before heading back into her work and listening to the different songs of species. She pressed her finger on the identification padd and walked through her door…

Only to find Commander Spock slowly rising to greet her. He had been sitting on her bed more than likely without touching any of her stuff. Nothing was out of place. None of her magazines and PADDs were turned or discarded. Nyota dropped her bag.

“Commander.”

“Nyota.”

So this was definitely a personal visit. She wasn’t in the mood for personal.

“Commander, I have my studies to get to so whatever you need to say I hope for you to make it quick.”

“You are displeased with me.”

No shit, she thought. She swallowed and tapped her foot, her eyes rolling to heaven.

“You made your feelings clear when you refused to see me after you were injured and after we got back to the Academy. I think that explains enough.”

“My reasoning is and was logical.”

“Did Gaila let you in?”

“She did.” Spock face hinted at no emotion and Nyota felt nothing but wrapped in her own. “She seemed as if she were on her way to copulate.”

Uhura gave a small chuckle. “Well at least someone in this room is getting laid.”

Spock’s expression remained as if it were stone. It was so different from the side of him that she had seen on Gourian V. Different but the same.

“Nyota, you look near exhaustion. Several of my collogues have approached me….”

“You don’t have to worry about that, Commander. You aren’t my instructor anymore, remember?”

“Nyota…”

Nyota took in a breath. “And then you had the nerve to have Captain Ailes do your dirty work for you and tell me.”

“What happened in those caverns will not be on your public record nor on mine. You have received an exemplary replacement in Lieutenant Lorne.”

“Maybe I didn’t want Lieutenant Lorne. Maybe I wanted you.”

When Spock lowered his eyelids she knew she had struck a direct hit. She picked up her satchel bag and was about to make her way out of the door when she felt his hand on hers.

“Nyota…It was not my idea. It was thought because of my actions on Gourian V that I would be compromised because of my…response to you and causing injury to Ensign Carter.”

“And what about the Terellium-D exposure? You weren’t responsible for that.”

Spock raised his eyebrow and Nyota cursed herself for not realizing that he didn’t know that she knew about what had pushed him into a hormonal madness. Ensign Carter, in his apology to her for his actions below the surface, had revealed that Spock’s reaction had been triggered by a mineral called Terellium-D, a substance that was innocuous to humans but caused absolute madness in Vulcans.

“The caverns were full of the stuff, Uhura. I’m surprised Commander Spock didn’t kill us all.”

“I was fortunate that my physiology is part human. It minimized the effects of the mineral in my bloodstream.”

“But it triggered your Pon Farr.”

“Indeed, it did.”

Spock let go of her hand and stood straight once again. She dropped her bag again.

“Spock listen, if you are here because you think I hold what happened in the caverns against you…”

“I am merely here to explain my absence from you.”

Nyota walked past him and sat on her own bed. “I’m not going to stop you.”

Spock turned to face her, his hands behind his back, and she very much felt as if she were in one of his classes again. Before the other Spock in the caves of Gourian V, there was this one, and standing there Nyota was reminded of why she was attracted to this version as well.

“Nyota, I needed to find balance. Our telepathic link was unusually potent and being around you would make it difficult for me to make logical decisions.”

“That’s too bad.” Nyota said, her temperament showing on her face. “You think you were the only one who needed perspective? I feel like I have a whole other person in my head.”

“As do I.”

His memories were not complete but they were there as if a shadow consciousness had taken residence in her mind. She would be taking notes in class and suddenly be confronted by Vulcans taunting her in a weirdly analytical way. His memories would impose on her without asking and without permission.

“I can assist you in making the memories less overwhelming.”

“Gee, thanks.”

“I cannot take back what I have given you, Nyota. I can merely suppress it.”

“So this might be with me for life?”

“Indeed.”

Nyota rested her head in her hands and took in a deep breath. She felt the bed slouch down with his weight and knew that he was beside her.

“I regret that I have caused you pain. If I could I would abolish our bond forever.”

She looked up at him with tears in her eyes. “I don’t want it abolished.”

Spock looked at her with genuine surprise. The tears fell.

“I just want you. Why is that so hard to understand?”

“You… you wish to remain my mate?”

Nyota gave him a small grin and touched the inside of his ear to the point. “I just want to see where this goes. Can you give me that? I just…just want to go slow. Maybe a couple of dates. Some movies.”

“You mean human courting?”

Nyota gave a loud laugh. “Only you would make dating sound like a thesis paper.”

“I am sorry if…”

“And stop apologizing.”

She leaned up to put her closed lips to his. His human half wanted to give her the moon, the stars, and the entire galaxy. His Vulcan side wished for a logical conclusion of copulation after several mating rituals.

Nyota stopped kissing him and leaned her forehead against his and rubbed her cheek against his.

“I just want you to give us a chance.”

Spock closed his eyes and took in a deep breath of her. His thoughts traveled to a cavern on the planet of Gourian IV and her two fingers connected to his.

“From you I recieve all that I am. I will give all that I am, Nyota. I will give you all that I am.”

fan: fan fiction

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