(no subject)
i am messy.
i'm unhappy being messy when i need to find things
when i'm not finding things i am happy
i shouldn't have to find things?
wrong
maybe i should straighten up and instead of being happy or not happy, be something in between
i am a lover
i believe things are formal and more about niceties until kissing (note, not a kiss) starts.
then i'm all about delivering satisfaction
i'm not happy with this
i am happy about giving satisfaction
why am i not happy?
because i dont think about my own satisfaction until theirs is met
why does this make me not happy?
because they usually are thinking about my satisfaction mixed with theirs, so when they're satisfied they presume that i am too
when i'm not yet
so maybe i should do what i want to satisfy myself, and negotiate off of that, instead of trying to negotiate after their needs are met
maybe i should do that with everything. perhaps
i am a procrastinator
i dont feel happy doing things i dont want to do.
who does?
but i want to be at school.
right?
yes.
so then there is no reason to procrastinate on work, since if you want to be in school that means you have to do the homework, and since homework is a pre-requisite for school then i want to do homework. if i want to do homework then it i should do it
still doesn't make me happy, but at least i still want to do it.
sorta like having sex.
i am a pothead
i dont feel happy thinking that i'm a pothead
but what defines being a a pothead? someone who smokes too much weed?
what is too much? how much is too much?
i've smoked a quarter of 'dro in 4 days and probably an eigth of Jack Herrer. Did i enjoy it? Yes. Have I been occupied? Yes.
Could i be doing better things? Yes.
so its not that i'm not happy thinking i'm a pothead, because i enjoy it and it keeps me occupied, but i acknowledge i could be doing beter things. What could these better things be? well. i could be doing the paper i have due tomorrow.
i'm still kinda high.
i wrote the introduction, and i finished the other hour and a half of work for computers, maybe i should just take a break. ugh.
so anyways, i'm not happy spending my time smoking pot, yet smoking pot is something I enjoy a lot.
this means that there are things that I need to schedule to make it all work out. I need to fill up other time so that I smoke when I have no previously scheduled plans, instead of smoking all the time.
=]
agnosticism is driving me nuts
i have no purpose in life. i need to set my heart on something more stable than someone else
when i fall in love, a person becomes my purpose.
a reason to survive.
alright, going out to dinner. i might post later
i'm unhappy being messy when i need to find things
when i'm not finding things i am happy
i shouldn't have to find things?
wrong
maybe i should straighten up and instead of being happy or not happy, be something in between
i am a lover
i believe things are formal and more about niceties until kissing (note, not a kiss) starts.
then i'm all about delivering satisfaction
i'm not happy with this
i am happy about giving satisfaction
why am i not happy?
because i dont think about my own satisfaction until theirs is met
why does this make me not happy?
because they usually are thinking about my satisfaction mixed with theirs, so when they're satisfied they presume that i am too
when i'm not yet
so maybe i should do what i want to satisfy myself, and negotiate off of that, instead of trying to negotiate after their needs are met
maybe i should do that with everything. perhaps
i am a procrastinator
i dont feel happy doing things i dont want to do.
who does?
but i want to be at school.
right?
yes.
so then there is no reason to procrastinate on work, since if you want to be in school that means you have to do the homework, and since homework is a pre-requisite for school then i want to do homework. if i want to do homework then it i should do it
still doesn't make me happy, but at least i still want to do it.
sorta like having sex.
i am a pothead
i dont feel happy thinking that i'm a pothead
but what defines being a a pothead? someone who smokes too much weed?
what is too much? how much is too much?
i've smoked a quarter of 'dro in 4 days and probably an eigth of Jack Herrer. Did i enjoy it? Yes. Have I been occupied? Yes.
Could i be doing better things? Yes.
so its not that i'm not happy thinking i'm a pothead, because i enjoy it and it keeps me occupied, but i acknowledge i could be doing beter things. What could these better things be? well. i could be doing the paper i have due tomorrow.
i'm still kinda high.
i wrote the introduction, and i finished the other hour and a half of work for computers, maybe i should just take a break. ugh.
so anyways, i'm not happy spending my time smoking pot, yet smoking pot is something I enjoy a lot.
this means that there are things that I need to schedule to make it all work out. I need to fill up other time so that I smoke when I have no previously scheduled plans, instead of smoking all the time.
=]
agnosticism is driving me nuts
i have no purpose in life. i need to set my heart on something more stable than someone else
when i fall in love, a person becomes my purpose.
a reason to survive.
alright, going out to dinner. i might post later