(no subject)
i had this really strange dream today while i was taking a nap. I was walking in front of a door to a frat house and there was a bag of bagels. I went to steal them, and missed, kicking the bag and spilling them everywhere. the guys inside came out and started looking for who had caused such a ruckus, and i turned myself in. I took out my wallet to give them some money to pay for the bagels, and they just took and emptied my wallet. Each one of them took a bill.
I curled up in a corner and cried in my dream.
Pretty Pathetic.
I dont know quite what this means, maybe it's just that I'm getting offly materialistic and it's time for me to just chill out and spend more on others. I bought my sister breakfast the other day, and it really made me feel like i had been non-contributory to everyone else. I rarely buy gifts for anyone.
On a good, well, on a note: I'm pretty much done with the whole erika thing. I was too drunk, which led to me becoming too stoned, for me to say anything to her, which was odd since she was, along with yohanna, impossible for me to communicate with. I'd like to believe that the more inhibited i am the closer to nature i become. If i cannot naturally communicate with people, then I assume thats what the underlying properties of the relationship are. Not to mention I threw up because watching her practically make out with a bunch of guys, even though she didn't, made me so upset. She's not looking for someone like me, as it was obvious all night and I overlooked it. I was happier and more energetic dancing with everyone besides her anyways... so I've decided to relinquish my persuits to whomever decides to take them up.
I accept being the friend.
Now I just have to figure out whether a bunch of things erika said to me were just niceties or if she was being honest. This should keep me interested until the end of june, at least.
I curled up in a corner and cried in my dream.
Pretty Pathetic.
I dont know quite what this means, maybe it's just that I'm getting offly materialistic and it's time for me to just chill out and spend more on others. I bought my sister breakfast the other day, and it really made me feel like i had been non-contributory to everyone else. I rarely buy gifts for anyone.
On a good, well, on a note: I'm pretty much done with the whole erika thing. I was too drunk, which led to me becoming too stoned, for me to say anything to her, which was odd since she was, along with yohanna, impossible for me to communicate with. I'd like to believe that the more inhibited i am the closer to nature i become. If i cannot naturally communicate with people, then I assume thats what the underlying properties of the relationship are. Not to mention I threw up because watching her practically make out with a bunch of guys, even though she didn't, made me so upset. She's not looking for someone like me, as it was obvious all night and I overlooked it. I was happier and more energetic dancing with everyone besides her anyways... so I've decided to relinquish my persuits to whomever decides to take them up.
I accept being the friend.
Now I just have to figure out whether a bunch of things erika said to me were just niceties or if she was being honest. This should keep me interested until the end of june, at least.