Can you be friends with your ex????
I stumbled across this article today while I was reading my horoscope. It was like the stars and the universe was speaking to me. Janna seemed very adament she just wanted to stay platonic friends after 8 years of relationship. 8 years in each others' lives when we always told each other how much we love that person, how our soul aches for them. And we were never friends when we first started talking. and she knows this. And even though an old friend said certain ex's you can be friends with. I took that in..but if I recall the way I work and what I believe..you can never truly be friends with somone you supposedly loved with all of you. The emotion is way too strong for just platonic friendship. I believe if you love someone as much as you say or feel you do then friendship was never in the cards. So Im not saying the ex's some of you are friends with now, you didnt love them. Of course you did. But love wasn't as deep as you thought it was, is all I'm saying. Some may disagree, that is totally fine. Just my true, honest feelings on it.
So..as I was saying last night Janna kept saying "friends, friends" and I said, "I'm sorry, how can we be friends after everything we went through. All the trials and tribulations..how? She did not answer...as usual. So I said, "Ok, I can't and will not be your friend, because to me that would be a lie. Perpatating a Fruad. Hyprocrite, etc. My blood tells as well as my heart, soul and mind tells me that my love for you, for us, is way too strong to be friends. So that proves to me her love wasn't as strong as mine if she can easily just be "friends". I told her I will leave her be..I will not be a dead weight on her. I'll always hold on..just not as tightly anymore. Gotta live my life as well..
ARTICLE:
Can you be friends with your ex???
Here’s a Hint: No!
Lucy from Bradford, United Kingdom asks:
I still haven’t gotten over my ex. Anti-depressants, therapy, now the fat farm because I’m eating for the world. He wanted to stay friends. I couldn’t handle it. He turned his back on me. Could we ever resume a friendship, now that I’m stronger?
Carmen’s Response:
Dear Lucy! I hate to break this to you, but no, you cannot remain friends. And honestly, why would you want to? The reason you want his friendship is because you hope that he’ll change his mind and that he’ll come back to you, if you only lose weight / become happy again / have more self-confidence (insert here whatever thing you feel you need to fix).
You need to find a man who loves you for who you are and the way you are. Not one that requires you to change and who cannot love and commit to you 100%.
Of course, this brings up the question of why you love yourself so little that you feel you need to be with a man who isn’t committed and has actively distanced himself from you. See, the reasons why he walked away and turned his back don’t matter. What matters is that he did; and none of his behaviors may actually have anything to do with you. The simple answer is that he is not the right one and not the proper fit for you. So while you are spending all your time and energy on getting his approval and his non-committed butt back, you are missing out on the person who might be the right one for you. In order to attract the right partner, you will have to create space in your life and heart, so the universe can actually bring that person in.
Above all, though, Lucy, you must learn to love yourself first. A person who cannot love themselves generally cannot love another. If you doubt yourself and don’t believe in yourself, you will project that into the world, and hence, attract it in others.
“Keep your partner happy by being happy yourself.” - Blythe ext. 5339
Keep doing your therapy, and whatever else you deem fit to help you get over your broken heart. There are so many ways to heal oneself from toxic behavioral patterns and low self-esteem, like yoga, meditation, working out; evening classes in whatever hobby you always wanted to take up, reading, etc. Let him go and start focusing on you. He does not matter, you, however, do. Trust me, the world can become brighter and we can overcome even the biggest heartache. He, my friend, is not worth it, no matter how much you may want to justify keeping him in your life.
Take care of yourself and know that nothing is ever as bleak as it appears.
“You must first decide that you are worthy of love and that your value to be loved is not determined by someone else but yourself.” - William ext. 5131
--Goodbye my lover, you have been the one for me...
---fin
So..as I was saying last night Janna kept saying "friends, friends" and I said, "I'm sorry, how can we be friends after everything we went through. All the trials and tribulations..how? She did not answer...as usual. So I said, "Ok, I can't and will not be your friend, because to me that would be a lie. Perpatating a Fruad. Hyprocrite, etc. My blood tells as well as my heart, soul and mind tells me that my love for you, for us, is way too strong to be friends. So that proves to me her love wasn't as strong as mine if she can easily just be "friends". I told her I will leave her be..I will not be a dead weight on her. I'll always hold on..just not as tightly anymore. Gotta live my life as well..
ARTICLE:
Can you be friends with your ex???
Here’s a Hint: No!
Lucy from Bradford, United Kingdom asks:
I still haven’t gotten over my ex. Anti-depressants, therapy, now the fat farm because I’m eating for the world. He wanted to stay friends. I couldn’t handle it. He turned his back on me. Could we ever resume a friendship, now that I’m stronger?
Carmen’s Response:
Dear Lucy! I hate to break this to you, but no, you cannot remain friends. And honestly, why would you want to? The reason you want his friendship is because you hope that he’ll change his mind and that he’ll come back to you, if you only lose weight / become happy again / have more self-confidence (insert here whatever thing you feel you need to fix).
You need to find a man who loves you for who you are and the way you are. Not one that requires you to change and who cannot love and commit to you 100%.
Of course, this brings up the question of why you love yourself so little that you feel you need to be with a man who isn’t committed and has actively distanced himself from you. See, the reasons why he walked away and turned his back don’t matter. What matters is that he did; and none of his behaviors may actually have anything to do with you. The simple answer is that he is not the right one and not the proper fit for you. So while you are spending all your time and energy on getting his approval and his non-committed butt back, you are missing out on the person who might be the right one for you. In order to attract the right partner, you will have to create space in your life and heart, so the universe can actually bring that person in.
Above all, though, Lucy, you must learn to love yourself first. A person who cannot love themselves generally cannot love another. If you doubt yourself and don’t believe in yourself, you will project that into the world, and hence, attract it in others.
“Keep your partner happy by being happy yourself.” - Blythe ext. 5339
Keep doing your therapy, and whatever else you deem fit to help you get over your broken heart. There are so many ways to heal oneself from toxic behavioral patterns and low self-esteem, like yoga, meditation, working out; evening classes in whatever hobby you always wanted to take up, reading, etc. Let him go and start focusing on you. He does not matter, you, however, do. Trust me, the world can become brighter and we can overcome even the biggest heartache. He, my friend, is not worth it, no matter how much you may want to justify keeping him in your life.
Take care of yourself and know that nothing is ever as bleak as it appears.
“You must first decide that you are worthy of love and that your value to be loved is not determined by someone else but yourself.” - William ext. 5131
--Goodbye my lover, you have been the one for me...
---fin