and another tear falls
Yesterday afternoon my sister called me to let me know that my Uncle Keith had killed himself. 4th death in two months. 2nd suicide this year and the 6th total since February.
This is the worst year of my life. I've accomplished so much this year and yet it's still the worst year of my life. I found a job that I love and that I'm good at. Still can't smile. I'm engaged to the most amazing women in the universe. Still can't smile. I have a house with a huge yard and two great dogs. Still can't smile. My life is good, yet I keep losing people close to me.
My sister said that a couple weeks ago my aunt Pam found my uncle with a gun to his throat. Then yesterday she found him dead. She didn't say how. I don't think she knew. I'm not sure if I want to know. I didn't even know he was sad. He always seemed so happy. Every time I saw him he was smiling, joking, and playing his guitar. One of the most awesome people I'd ever met. Of all my family that Shy has met, he and my stepdad are her favorites.
I miss him.
I miss him and Jimmy and Phil and Casey and Coley and Jeremy.
They were all too young. They were all unexpected. They were all so amazing and loved and loving.
I fucking hate this year.
This is the worst year of my life. I've accomplished so much this year and yet it's still the worst year of my life. I found a job that I love and that I'm good at. Still can't smile. I'm engaged to the most amazing women in the universe. Still can't smile. I have a house with a huge yard and two great dogs. Still can't smile. My life is good, yet I keep losing people close to me.
My sister said that a couple weeks ago my aunt Pam found my uncle with a gun to his throat. Then yesterday she found him dead. She didn't say how. I don't think she knew. I'm not sure if I want to know. I didn't even know he was sad. He always seemed so happy. Every time I saw him he was smiling, joking, and playing his guitar. One of the most awesome people I'd ever met. Of all my family that Shy has met, he and my stepdad are her favorites.
I miss him.
I miss him and Jimmy and Phil and Casey and Coley and Jeremy.
They were all too young. They were all unexpected. They were all so amazing and loved and loving.
I fucking hate this year.