All my friends always talk about the stories of moving on and getting out...
I love how I post in live journal like once every few months; if that. All well, just goes to show where my priorities are. But I’ll try to change that and post more often, not that anyone reads this crap but I’ll do my best to give all my non fans more useless crap to not read.
Moving right along; my life has become something of a train wreck as of late. It’s hard not to watch but shitty if you’re involved. I had to drop all my spring semester classes yet again! Last semester it was due to an emotional breakdown and my mom being sick…this time I was trying to be helpful and homeschool my little brother, which just ended in disaster, resulting in my falling too far behind in my classes. Not to mention I was called by my aunt only to be informed that my great grandmother was on her deathbed and I might have to go to Ohio at any time (she’s alright now though). Speaking of Ohio, I’m not going up there this year, going to spend all my time playing catch up in school and attempting to se Bryan as much as I can before he leaves.
Which brings me to another catastrophe currently weaving its web in my already screwed up life. Bryan will be leaving at the end of summer (probably before my birthday) to go to UCF. It is time for him to transfer and UCF has the best robotics program; not to mention that his rents want him to quit working and go to school full time so he can hurry up and finish. Now, though I am happy for him and all, I am sort of losing my boyfriend of almost 4years here. I have convinced him that we need to at least TRY to stay together even though he’s moving, because giving up on 4yrs is bullshit. So, it will be hard and trying, but we have to give it a shot. It’s only 2hrs away or so, and my friends love me so…and should it not work, be it too difficult emotionally or for any other reason, then fine, at least we can say we tried, and if it is meant to be then we will be together once again. This is more than likely one of those crossroads in my life where I need to deal with some shit on my own. Or maybe my life just sucks but…only time will tell.
I need a new job desperately. I make $7.25 an hour and that just isn’t cutting it in the least. I still haven’t heard anything about my portfolio and I’m starting to have my doubts, but all well, it’s just a hobby anyway. Jon is supposed to fix my car soon so hopefully I’ll have a car and be driving soon…maybe before summer class’s start.
And on a much, much, MUCH lighter note. I have lost nearly 25 lbs, cut all my hair off…well, it’s to my shoulders and layered all crazy but still, that’s like a foot off. Apparently I have become very pleasing to the eye, according to males and females alike. ^.~ It makes me happy that the new me is taking shape, literally. Hoping to get some pictures taken of myself for once.
And to those who didn’t already know…I went to the Less Than Jake concert last night. It was AWESOME!! I felt loved to be invited. I went with Josh and C.O. and kind of ended up being the girl who holds shit while they went into the pit and killed people, but that was okay. I looked HOT!! ^.^ Thank you to Ana for returning my shirt. Afterwards we went to BW-3’s and played pool and ate bad, bad food; well it was good, but bad for me. Somehow, even though I didn’t pit, I still got the shit elbowed out of me…my arm is okay but my hip bone is bruised. All well, it was fun!
So, that is my catch up for now. I’ll try to start posting more, but chances are that won’t happen and I’ll be catching up again in 3 more months. Either way, I leave you with Less Than Jake…
"Motown Never Sounded So Good"
[Roger:]
So you say, all your white flags are up and that you've had enough and that you were tired of collecting dust, you say everything always looks the same and you made your brand new face to match your brand new place, you say all your distress calls have gone out and your ship is going down
[Pre-chorus]
[Chris:]
Well I say it to myself all the time,
"Stop living half and a life and stop feeling like I'm half alive."
[Chorus]
[Roger:]
I can't get enough, I'm not satisfied, I've wasted my time with this daily grind, in single file line, is this real life, I've been telling myself sometimes, what matters is on the inside.
[Roger:]
Do you remember when we had all the answers, and can you really remember when we wished for anything better, just to feel like it's been forever, does it feel like a broken record, a head full of yesterdays, you keep wishing your life away, you can't keep looking over you own shoulder, things'll never look up unless you start to move forward.
[Pre-chorus]
[Chorus]
[Chorus 2]
[Roger:]
I can't get enough, I'm not satisfied, I've wasted my time with this daily grind, I can't get enough, I'm just getting by, I can't stand this design for our bitter lives, I keep feeling lost and I'm not satisfied with traffic and turnpikes and these tired eyes.
[Chorus]
Moving right along; my life has become something of a train wreck as of late. It’s hard not to watch but shitty if you’re involved. I had to drop all my spring semester classes yet again! Last semester it was due to an emotional breakdown and my mom being sick…this time I was trying to be helpful and homeschool my little brother, which just ended in disaster, resulting in my falling too far behind in my classes. Not to mention I was called by my aunt only to be informed that my great grandmother was on her deathbed and I might have to go to Ohio at any time (she’s alright now though). Speaking of Ohio, I’m not going up there this year, going to spend all my time playing catch up in school and attempting to se Bryan as much as I can before he leaves.
Which brings me to another catastrophe currently weaving its web in my already screwed up life. Bryan will be leaving at the end of summer (probably before my birthday) to go to UCF. It is time for him to transfer and UCF has the best robotics program; not to mention that his rents want him to quit working and go to school full time so he can hurry up and finish. Now, though I am happy for him and all, I am sort of losing my boyfriend of almost 4years here. I have convinced him that we need to at least TRY to stay together even though he’s moving, because giving up on 4yrs is bullshit. So, it will be hard and trying, but we have to give it a shot. It’s only 2hrs away or so, and my friends love me so…and should it not work, be it too difficult emotionally or for any other reason, then fine, at least we can say we tried, and if it is meant to be then we will be together once again. This is more than likely one of those crossroads in my life where I need to deal with some shit on my own. Or maybe my life just sucks but…only time will tell.
I need a new job desperately. I make $7.25 an hour and that just isn’t cutting it in the least. I still haven’t heard anything about my portfolio and I’m starting to have my doubts, but all well, it’s just a hobby anyway. Jon is supposed to fix my car soon so hopefully I’ll have a car and be driving soon…maybe before summer class’s start.
And on a much, much, MUCH lighter note. I have lost nearly 25 lbs, cut all my hair off…well, it’s to my shoulders and layered all crazy but still, that’s like a foot off. Apparently I have become very pleasing to the eye, according to males and females alike. ^.~ It makes me happy that the new me is taking shape, literally. Hoping to get some pictures taken of myself for once.
And to those who didn’t already know…I went to the Less Than Jake concert last night. It was AWESOME!! I felt loved to be invited. I went with Josh and C.O. and kind of ended up being the girl who holds shit while they went into the pit and killed people, but that was okay. I looked HOT!! ^.^ Thank you to Ana for returning my shirt. Afterwards we went to BW-3’s and played pool and ate bad, bad food; well it was good, but bad for me. Somehow, even though I didn’t pit, I still got the shit elbowed out of me…my arm is okay but my hip bone is bruised. All well, it was fun!
So, that is my catch up for now. I’ll try to start posting more, but chances are that won’t happen and I’ll be catching up again in 3 more months. Either way, I leave you with Less Than Jake…
"Motown Never Sounded So Good"
[Roger:]
So you say, all your white flags are up and that you've had enough and that you were tired of collecting dust, you say everything always looks the same and you made your brand new face to match your brand new place, you say all your distress calls have gone out and your ship is going down
[Pre-chorus]
[Chris:]
Well I say it to myself all the time,
"Stop living half and a life and stop feeling like I'm half alive."
[Chorus]
[Roger:]
I can't get enough, I'm not satisfied, I've wasted my time with this daily grind, in single file line, is this real life, I've been telling myself sometimes, what matters is on the inside.
[Roger:]
Do you remember when we had all the answers, and can you really remember when we wished for anything better, just to feel like it's been forever, does it feel like a broken record, a head full of yesterdays, you keep wishing your life away, you can't keep looking over you own shoulder, things'll never look up unless you start to move forward.
[Pre-chorus]
[Chorus]
[Chorus 2]
[Roger:]
I can't get enough, I'm not satisfied, I've wasted my time with this daily grind, I can't get enough, I'm just getting by, I can't stand this design for our bitter lives, I keep feeling lost and I'm not satisfied with traffic and turnpikes and these tired eyes.
[Chorus]