Hey!
Hey!
hmm...let's see...Januray 2nd I cut...And I havent cut since then...like 5 days..lol...well..Ya gotta start somewhere!!!
There's this really cute cute guy in my pottery class I transferred into...and he was flirting with me...the day before yesterday...he has this really cute brown curly messed up hair...it's adorable...he also smokes and drinks too!! Yes everyone..I'm bad..lol...j/k one of my friends showed me that stuff...I do it every once and a while...The first time I ever *smoked* was the friday after school was out..It was freakin awesome...and this guy...asked me if i smoked or drunk...and I said Ive been drinking for a while and I was a first timer a few weeks ago...He was cool about it...He's really sweet too!!
I dunno what to do about my X taylor. I broke up with him cause I didnt want to get him into the mess I went through this summer(more about that later) and I broke his heart...I really really liked him...and we even went to prom together..and now wer'e starting to talk again..we got together one night with one of my friends...she got drunk and I didnt(someone had to be sober to get us back home) and we all played strip poker and stuff...It was really fun..and I kissed him on the cheek as I got out of the car...he told one of my good guy friends that he was "thinking about me" and I've been starting to like him even more than I did before...He's the sweetest guy ever...but now he's acting kinda funny...and hes sending me mixed signals...grrr...guys!
So the stuff about this summer...I have had problems with eating...cutting and depression...and in june when my gramma died...my world..like crumbled...I went through really bad episodes of cutting and not eating...and I went into a mental facilitly for a few weeks...I was messed up and VERY suicidal...after I was out of the hospital..I was in therapy...and on medicine...and ever since then..everything has gotten so much better!
The friend that I went to Taylor's was Laura...a friend that I met at the hospital...(LOL) we exchanged #'s secretly and found each other after we both got out...she goes to lafayette..she lives in the same city as I do...only a few minutes away!! She let me try cigarettes...(UGH)(in june) and then drinking(woot)(in july) and then *smoking* a few weeks ago...we hang out almost every weekend we get the chance...
....wow...writing all this really makes me realize how different I am...from just a few months ago...I was always thw sweet innocent girl..People stillthink that I am at school...cause I still have that quiet look to me..and I still act as nice as I always have..I just have a different party life I guess you could call it....
~*~Tink~*~