Staring atthe edge of morning, scent of sex and new found glory*
Hi. So what's new in my boring pathetic life? Absolutely nothing. Im still waiting for my poetic soul mate, so they call it. And Im still waking up every day wishing that I could sleep forever. I \m not sure if Im lonely because Im always out with friends, and Im always surrounded by people I love. I just think I miss somebody. And I dont want to say who because if I do then I'll be admitting it to myself, and thats the last thing I want to do. Im in complete denial, but hey denials working for me.Sometimes I think that if I sit there and imagine that I never met "he/she" then they would stop existingto me. BUt of course it doesnt work. And I dont want to see "he/she" because I dont want to have to hate myself again. I know it all sounds akward and weird but it all makes sense in my head. And that person is nothing like my dreamed up soul mate. I need somebody who has dreams and goals, and somebody who loves art and photograohy and drinks chai and lives his life by music. But I know that those boys dont exist at my age, and they probablly wont exist until Im 30, and by then Ill be so bored with my life I wont want to meet anybody. My "coffee house romance" might never even exist.
Well I finally got the guts to ask this boy Adam if I can photograph him. I didnt know how to ask him without sounding like a stalker, I hope it came out okay. =/
The new tbs cd came out today, Im going to go buy it asap. I also want to buy the Atreyu cd and Breaking Bejamins. I love how I want all thses things and have absolutely no money whatsover. I'll just hit my parents up for a lil longer. But my first day at Marshalls is thursday [nerves]. Sunday we lieave for Waterville. I really think this is the best time to be going away, I need a vacation more then ever. Alicia and Amanda are coming with me. Theyre both alot of fun so it'll be great. Brandon and Dan are going to!
Amanda came home yesterday! I went with her dad to pick her up at the airport, her parents are like my second family. Her dad and I "bonded" lol. I was so erxcited to see her. Its tough to be away from your best friend that long. I have no clue how we'll survive college. Me in England,. her in Texas. Oh god! I slept over her house. We were both exhausted and fall asleep around 12, I think. Today we went to the movies to see A Cinderella Story, yah that was my 2nd time. And Im still in love with it. I sound like such a teeny bopper. I swear Im not! Its just a really good movie. Now Im home, thinking about everything. So many thoughts are running throuh my head. Its hard to keep up with them all.
I want you to know that
I miss you .x. I miss you so