All u nosy fuckers want to know why Arizona was bad...
OH MY FUCKING GOD i just had a whole fucking huge entry about Arizona. OKay fuck that Im giving u the short version. It was terrible, It was wiked hot 108 degreass ususlly. Mind you I hate the heat! We saw the Grand Canyion which was amazing, breathtaking, But the bad stuff is that, my family truthfully hates me, My stepmom, well her names TRacy, shes a lawyer, rich, snobby, and you can never ever win with her. She snaps thses ignorant comment at ppl all the time. And she was really picknig at me.So i figured Id say something to her. So on Thursday night a few of us went to the Yankees vs Diamond Backs game which was so much fun. Then they all awnted to drink so we go to this bar, and Im half asllep. I got no sleep this while trip cus We went to bed always wikked late and the time diference was fuicking me all up and then my little sister would cry and wake us up at 7. So no sleep. We go to this bar/club thats loud.smokey.smelly.loud. Ah terrible n I fell asleep at the table. Thats how tired I was. So we go home n Tracy was at the Hotel with her friends, we walk in n she introduces everyone but me. And then said I was being bitchy. Fucknig idiot I was so tired! Why doesnt she understand that. So I go upstairs after being riddiculed. And then I start to get the shivers. Whiich for me is a massive fever. And then my stomach starts to kill, like its caving in. And then I start to not be able to breathe., I was gasping for air, lying on the floor unable to move. SO I manage to reach for the phone to cal my mom back in Mass. Shes on the phone trying to calm me down n then I stop breathing for about 5 minutes and then I start gasing for it n then I start throwing up. My mom was screaming for me to call 911, but I was all alone. N I coulnt concentrate. IT was so scary! Thats happened to me before but never as bad and scary. So then [skipping alot] I go to bed and wake up the next morning at 11 and then fell back asleep. I didnt get out of bed until 6 that night. Everuyone was so mad at me, My dad n Tracy didnt understand that I was wicked sick. They were so mad. So around 6 we go to this old western park. like 6 Gun City. And I go to the bathroom n TRacys there n Im like "Hey I wanted to talk to you, lately u seem like ur so upset w. me" n shes like "well I am. I dont think u appreciated everything me n ur father do for u, u dont help out enough w.the baby, and you were acting like a bitch last night" Im like uhh excuse me "I was wiked tired and sick last night, I apreciated everything u do! And u never ever taught me how to care for SAm. Im only 16 yrs old, Iv never had a baby around in my life before, u cant expect me to know what to do" n shes like Its rude that u brought this up now, Im havng fun with my friends n ur ruinig it, n she walks out. So Im all upset, as usual. And I leave the resteraunt and go outside. My dada comes up to me and starts yelling at me, which hes NEVER EVER done before. n Im like I cant believe ur taking her side, U dont even know me. Which he doesnt he was barely around wen I was a kid, he left wen I was one! And Im like "Im never going on vacation w. u again, I need a break from u guys, U treat me like a little girl, a dont understand me, I try my hardest, I try so hard to impress Tracy" There was so much more said, it was just so so so terrible. I could feel my heart breaking, so hes yelling at me in public, saying "Tats fine, But every night I lay in bed hoping I havent upset you" trying to make me feel guilty. So we go home n to bed. And today Tracy n He didnt talk to me at all. My sister went behind my back nsaid I was ungrateful n jealous of SAmantha. Me jealous of SAm.. wtf! I love her so much, I am in no way jealous, n the fact that sum1 would evwn make that assumption pisses me off. So at this point. EVERYONE was talking about me n gaining up on me while Im sick with strep throat. Every time I turned my back they were gossping. My dad said I ruined the trip, and I cnt even explain to you, it was so hurtful. I feel so betrayed and left out, I just dont fit in with them. Were diferent types of people. My dad has never talkeed to me like that before..never. So the plane ride was terrible, the whole day was terrible. Everyone hates me n theyre all talking about me, saying how I ruined their trip. U see, when Im around my ada n TRacy I try to be as perfect as possible, bcus Tracy is very intimidating, and my brother n sisters n I all try so hard for her to like us. And now my dad has completely turned his back on me. I felt like I was the new kid at school walking into the lunch room, not knowing where to sit, go sit at the "popular" table and they all turn n stare n start to gossip. Thats wat it felt like, I called my mom every day crying. I came home tonight n had another minor attack. Im going to the doctors tomorrow. Im supposed to go to Rent tomorrow with dad n TRacy, for my bday but I told him I didnt want to go with him. And also tomro my family is going to Midevil manor for fathers day. Iv decideed not to go. Why be somewhere wen everyone hates me. Im so happy to be home!I need a break.Im taking a break from the world this week. ONly accepting calls from Amanda, God I miss her so much. I bought her the coolest gifts! I read 4 big books this week, crazyyy. And Leomard still likes me, which makes me happy. But I need NEED need my sleep. So goodnight.