Finding the balance.
You know, I used to be such a hyper kid full of energy, disregard for popular image, and an easy love for everyone. I recall being friends with everyone in highschool, my sophomore year. I'd go with impulsive antics daily at school too - the occasional wearing of fairy wings, pink hair, I was one of the first boys with pink chucks i promise you that (this was before pink was in fashion, mind you), carrying around my guitar, just walking into other classrooms, hanging out at lunch longer than i should, and my favorite - getting lots and lots of random hugs from lots and lots of girls throughout the school.
Moving here has really changed me, whether for better or worse, it's hard to say. I like to think I'm a better person now. Wiser and more mature. God only knows if that would have happened if things were able to just continue as they were in maryland. Lord only knows where i'd be right now if i hadn't moved. Probably stoned and/or doing heroin, continuing with the same crazy antics, a highschool dropout, full of peircings and tatoos, i could go on with the probabilities...
All in all I guess it's a good thing I moved here. Still, what im really trying to get across here is that I'm both happy and sad with the person I've become. A reclusive, quiet, much more sensitive, young man who has very little friends and no longer receives hugs daily from pretty girls. I'm not obnoxious or zany anymore, but that spirit still lives inside of me and constantly tries to break free everyday. It's the happier and more creative side of me, but it's not the wiser.
I suppose the trick is finding the balance. I've grown tired of Kansas and have been trying hard to return to maryland (just need to find a place to stay till i get money and find a place of my own). Perhaps, if I return to Maryland - the place that spawned my brighter personality - it'll help me find a balance between the two sides of my mind....and figure a couple other things out too along the way...
Moving here has really changed me, whether for better or worse, it's hard to say. I like to think I'm a better person now. Wiser and more mature. God only knows if that would have happened if things were able to just continue as they were in maryland. Lord only knows where i'd be right now if i hadn't moved. Probably stoned and/or doing heroin, continuing with the same crazy antics, a highschool dropout, full of peircings and tatoos, i could go on with the probabilities...
All in all I guess it's a good thing I moved here. Still, what im really trying to get across here is that I'm both happy and sad with the person I've become. A reclusive, quiet, much more sensitive, young man who has very little friends and no longer receives hugs daily from pretty girls. I'm not obnoxious or zany anymore, but that spirit still lives inside of me and constantly tries to break free everyday. It's the happier and more creative side of me, but it's not the wiser.
I suppose the trick is finding the balance. I've grown tired of Kansas and have been trying hard to return to maryland (just need to find a place to stay till i get money and find a place of my own). Perhaps, if I return to Maryland - the place that spawned my brighter personality - it'll help me find a balance between the two sides of my mind....and figure a couple other things out too along the way...